Welcome to the realm of insanity known only as "Boom's Bardic Blog." (* and also as simply "Boom's Blog") I bid you well and wish you luck--You will definately need it here.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Consider this...
Second: According to the Brittanica 2005 Almanac this planet has something like 735 million cars. Now if we make the ridiculous assumption that each vehicle has a 20 gallon tank filled with octane that needs filling if you are lucky every two weeks or about 26 times per year. And if we remember from our chemistry classes that octane is an 8 carbon chain that when combusted will form 8 carbon dioxides. We need a few unit converters like 1 Gallon is equal to 3.785 litres and that there are 6.023 x 10 with 23 zeros after it husbands of Eve (atoms) per small fury rodent (mole) and that there are 22.4 litres per said rodent. If we again remember that CO2 is made up of two oxygen and a carbon and that a whole lot of them weigh about 44 grams/ rodent and knowing that there are 1000 g/kg This means that by driving our cars we are pumping 1.425 x 10^12 kg per year into the atmosphere.
Conclusion: Assuming that we could turn every rock into gasoline, oh wouldn't the oil companies love that, we will have turned our entire country into atmospheric pollutants in just over 1.1 Billion years. We MUST stop this calamity. If you are a true patriot, for the love of our country PLEASE stop burning fossil fuels. We only have 1.1 Billion years left! Remember what we do today will affect our grandchildren 50 million generations hence! So I implore you, act now, ride the bus, carpool, do what ever you can to reduce global warming Incidently, if we assume a linear relationship between carbon concentrations and temperature our planet's average temperature should be something like 3.1 gajillion degrees Fahrenheit. That's not even considering other resources drains such as breathing, population doubling, etc. Things really are looking grim so please act now!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Love it!

(Characters drawn by Ron Proctor. Images copyright Ott Planetarium, so please don't even think of stealing them, sad I have to say all of that, but as we are publishing the show I feel I should.)
So anyway, these are our characters for our upcoming scout show for the planetarium. Yes we are sending it nation wide and Yes it does meet ALL of the astronomy meritbadge requirements. We aren't done yet, but I got to see a sneak preview. Its FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!! Incidently I wrote the script, and I also play at least three of these characters. Anyone care to guess which ones Answers are later in the blog.
Highlights include, buzzard blowing up the Earth. Boy gets cactus on his tongue and is carried away by giant killer mosquitos. Buzzard gets baked and a postage stamp is really an atomic bomb. Scoutmaster Ted is eaten by light pollution AND Bobo the Buzzard does stand up. Its the most hilarious 20 minutes I have seen and that just the start. Oh, and if you were still in doubt as to which characters I play: The male interview doesn't exist, The mosquito is silent, as are the medics. Billy screams. And I play Jimmy, Bobo and Winston Churchill. Its great! I recomend to anyone coming to watch our scout show starting probably early February. (Oh, and if you should happen to want to buy it just click today's title.)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Internet and the Telly
Surfing the internet is great, but its like watching daytime soaps. There really is no content to anything there. You know it will never end, there will always be something new, yet so very little of it is anygood. Yet even inspite of all of this, in spite of knowing there are at least a hundred million other better, more productive things you could or should be doing, yet we watch on. Watching ever on our brain's writhing and melting all the while. Even several hours into the crap with our brains oozing out onto the floor. Even with intelligence insulted, our pocketbooks demanded, held ransom by the world or marketing; even while being numbed to content especially drugs, crassness, violence, sex and any other vice you want we watch on. Hopping, yearing, even longing for something, anything good to come on so we can watch just a little longer. Just frequently enough to keep us glued good things do come, but why must soooo much of the internet and television be wrought with CRAP!?
Quality. It has been posted and written of here:
Even in the face of multimillion dollar (Not even surprised if soon to be multi billion dollar) movies with all of their high tech special effects and high paid actors, books are still better. Books allow you to use your own imagination to create the world of your choosing. Books will tell you things a movie never can. A book is a higher form of quality even than a movie in that books usually take longer to produce, they are more intimately tied with their creators. Books exude a quality that will not be matched until neurally tied viertual reality can be invented. When we have invented the machines necessary to make the world of our imaginations come to life, to combine the visual appeal of a movie with the intellectual draw of a book. That is power. (A power that would make a good science fiction, but that is for later.)
Ah, but here I have strayed. Is mine a work of quality, maybe. But with little or no editing and post post reading probably not as much as it could be. Drivel, maybe to someone. But it is my drivel, and that is probably the excuse that is shared around the world. So enjoy your drivel. May you all break free of your phrenic export bans, and may you never take the easy way out. Strive for quality, seek creativity, and go with the words of Longfellow from his Psalm of Life:
Seek Quality and go with luck.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Holes
From: http://www.impawards.com/2003/posters/holes.jpg On Jan 9 2007
Oh, and the picture doesn't really have anything to do with today's post. The post today is actually about Art, Mathematics and the languages of the universe. Yes, LanguageS of the universe. It has been said that math is the language of the universe. It has been said that if you ask the universe a question it will answer in math. Well this is sort of true, but it is true in the same way that the language of a computer is English. Every time I look at the computer all I see is English. But the computer actually speaks on and offs, but we are able to translate it into English. What language then does the universe speak? I think it is something closer to math art. There are numbers galore, even if I don't hear birds spouting formulae, there are still numbers everywhere, yet there is also great beauty. Intense amazing beauty in each and every component of the universe. The languages of the Universe is art, but to understand the art of the universe we have to translate into math. Birds don't sing in numbers but their song can be transformed into them the same way the computer screen is written in 1s and 0s then the English is dug out from them.
Ah fascinating, but if math is not the language of the Universe proper, what then is math? Math is the language of holes. (Ah, that's where the picture comes in, a post Hole if you will.) Moreover, art is the language of Wholes. I say that math is the language of holes because math provides us the techniques to fill in the infinitely many potholes of logic. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, sines, cos, and the rest--these are the letters the language of Holes is written in. They are the dirt, the foundation on which the whole is built. 2+3=5 if this is true we can then fill the hole that "2 and what, will make 5. " We disguise the hole with the symbol "x." I guess X marks the trap. Since we have ascribed 5 to be formed from 2 and 3 3 is the only thing that will fill in the hole we have created. The same holeds as we progress through stranger smaller holes to fill math gives us the shovels and the dirt to fill the missing holes. Sine of what will fill the hole (X) plus some other hole (Y) when divided by 6 and squared will equal three.
Science is intimately tied with mathematics because science is the special case of looking for holes in the universe and ways of filling them. Math is the language and science is the story problems.
Ah, so what of art? Art is the language of wholes. Art likes to see the whole picture whereas math and science are only concerned with the hole picture. The reason well laid out pictures of every day objects work so well is that the artist is keen at recognizing what we see as the hole-- merely a part of something larger is inturn itself a whole. All of the universe can be contained within great art, if even but a glimpse. The master has shown us the whole within the hole. And herein lies the metaphysical fractal for it is truly an object of math to be powerful enough to fit the whole within a hole. Artists see the emotional picture, the grandest scheme of things--the wholes if you will, while the mathematician and the scientist seeks only the newest question that expands the hole of our understanding by filling in the holes of our understanding.
If this is true, then a religion is an art and a science for it deepens our hole yet it lets us glimpse the universe as a whole. Music is another translation of sight into the realm of sound, letting us too perceive the whole hole. To eat is to fill our holes with things that are whole. And engineering is the whole of holes filling holes with perceived wholes.
But, the trick is for the studier of holes to realize that there are wholes, and for the wholes to realize that even their wholes have holes. The two are opposites one is empty even though it is filled, while the other is full and yet empty. To be a success we must unite the two. Art and religion must unne with science as must the other way round. Only then will we truly see the whole of wholes holes and all.
Monday, January 08, 2007
You know your music rocks when...
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
A town unlike any ever found
But fear not for Jytan Fitch returns.
Voyaged we into once an orinry hamlet.
But now the town is dead and couldn't handle it.
A town devoid of fools,
yet wrought with ghouls.
Every single citizen,
now death's denizen.
A borough of skeleton
townsfolk as ammunition.
Woe unto a rogue that tries to sneak attack,
the creature lacking a back.
Crossbow bolts, and arrow shots
simply rattle within the undeads rib slots.
But of this you can trust,
Dewey and the dorf turned the fiends into dust.
Twas at the cemetary
to where we did tary.
Those undigging the graves
quickly we dispatched with our blades.
Within that cemetary plot, amid those grave sites
Unhatched we a more sinister plot of ancient rites.
The barkeeps daughter maid mention of in earlier fights.
In but hours she'd be dead in all rights.
Off we ran to the bar to make wrongs right.
No fiends we saw so we hid amid the barrels that night.
We hoped to catch them in their act
Leap from behind the barrels and stope them in their tracks
Me with my sword and Dewey with his axe.
We got each other we had the daughter's back.
Or so we'd thunk.
Aye but through the window they'd snuk
Our plans foiled,
A maiden's inocense nearly spoiled.
When we realized what had passed,
we rushed to save to stolen lass.
Long we traced the damsels trail.
We would not lose we had to prevail.
Plunged we into a cave.
Fear we surpressed to be brave.
Filled with grinning skulls ranting.
An army of undead chanting.
An aura of gloom filled the room.
Spewed forth by 170 emissaries of doom.
Will our heros be torn limb from limb?
Will our distressed damsel meet them?
Do our the Gallant gladiators die?
Who do they meet that lets an arrow fly?
Come read again,
To find rest of the crews shenanigins.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
The dead of winter
101 Puns to Die For
1. What do jokes about death and an auction have in common?
They are both morbid
2. Who protects us in death?
The Marine Corpse
3. Why are so few people morticians?
It is a large undertaking
4. Are mortician towels labeled "His" and "Hearse"?
5. Is a warm day to a mortician an embalmy day?
6. Are mortician wind storms stiff breezes?
7. Do morticians drink stiff drinks or are they soft drinks?
8. Have you heard about the humorless sail ropes man named Mortis?
All of his friends called him rigger Mortis.
9. What is the favorite sandwich of morticians?
Cold cuts
10. Morticians have great immune systems, everyone they meet is coffin but they aren't.
11. After learning their onebs multiplications, do undertakers learn their tombs?
12. Motto of an undertaker: You can inter but you cannot exit
13. From Nerdtests.com: We would rather deal with all of Al Queida than a single American. Motto of a funeral home
ELDER KOBUS HAS RETURNED!!!
To quote from Douglas Adams, You have been Diverted!
Elder Kobus has a blog stage left of the same name. And as of Jan 1 has returned from South Africa. Great fun rejoice! We now return you to your regularly scheduled DEADly boring programming except instead we shall here take a detour and continue with the letter C
{The marine biologist walked with a limpet}
How to ADD volume C
1. Jimmy's report card
the seven "C"s
2. Cabal
The alternative to satellite
3. Cabbage Picking
Off with their heads
4. Cabaret
A place to go for kicks
5. Caber
A real toss up
6. Cabin boy
a swab young lad
7. Cabinet
An open and shut industry
8. Cable
One who is high strung
9. Caboodle
A Canadian Poodle
10. Caboose
The end of training
Cacanny is british for slow down
11. Cactus
A plant that quickly comes to its point
12. Cadaver
A real cut up
13. Caddy
Give me a hauler
Cade is a lamb left by its mother and reared by hand.
14. The logo on a nurse's uniform
medical staff
15. Caesar
One who gets a lot of Rome-ing charges
16. Caesar salad
One with lots of Romaine charges
17. coffee with cream
a Stirring derivation
18. A man with a good Cadence
One who takes it all in stride
19. Professional bondage
being strapped for cash
More 2c later, but now back to the grave task at hand.
14. A supped up funeral car has 300 hearse power.
15. If a funeral home director gets too stressed he might blow a casket.
16. An undertaker really digs his job.
17. Undertakers make great volleyball plays they are good at getting the digs.
18. An undertaker with nice pants has some good looking digs.
19. An apprentice undertaker has an inter-nship.
20. If you mix scuba with a mortician do you get a cad-diver?
21. For a quantum mortician does casualty always precede effectualty?
22. A scared mortician wants his mummy and deady.
23. The skeleton didn't go to the dance because he had no body to go with him.
24. A skeleton walks into a bar and order a drink and a mop.
25. The skeleton didn't go on the roller coaster because he didn't have any guts.
26. The angry skeleton had a bone to pick.
27. Mathematicians don't die they simply cease to function.
28. Do hippie morticians tie die?
29. What do you call it when death is sad?
The Grim weaper
30. Does Death read the Grim fairy tales?
31. What is a coroner's favorite Poe book?
Murders on the Rue Morgue
32. If a mortician is crowned king does he have a coroner-ation?
33. Motto of the city morgue: You stab em we slab em.
34. Who is a morticians favorite mythological character?
Morgue-ana Lefey (nemesis of Merlin)
35. Is an all you can eat funeral home a s-morgue-as board?
36. We know how to make mummies but we want to keep that secret under wraps.
37. Is a mummy maker a wrap artist?
38. If you do a dance while carrying a coffin what are you?
A palldancer
39. How are funerals like motor boats?
They both have wakes
40. Comedic eulogies often wake the dead.
41. An apathetic mortician couldn't cairn less.
42. How is someone who dies like a football quarterback (and don't say they have the same number of yards as the WSU quarterback)?
They both pass away
43. Morticians are never fed ammunition because they might bite the bullet?
44. Old hicks don't die, they just bite the mullet.
45. The zombie found the ghoul of his dreams.
46. Who is a zombie's favorite composer?
Glenn Ghould
47. What do you call an exciting mortuary?
A FUNeral home
48. Are mossoliums for poles pole vaults?
49. If you turn a cemetery what is it?
A rotational cemetary
50. If you make a polyandrium out of concrete what is it?
A cementary
51. What is a funeral director's favorite soda company?
Davie Jones's
52. Jimmy please use the word "ossuary" in a sentence.
I wanted to know where he was buried, so I ossuary he was.
53. If you have a bone collection building covered in bryophytes, what is it?
A moss-uary
54. Where do dead head holders go?
A neck-ropolis
55. What do you called a rocket propelled cadaver house?
A mortar-uary
56. Where do dead computers go?
Reboot hill
57. How do cats keep their fur looking nice?
With a catacomb
58. What is another name for a dead vinyard?
A grapeyard (graveyard)
59. Alternative definition: Mortician
A crypt-ographer
60. Is a dead cat a catdaver?
61. Do morticians ever get dead arms?
62. What is a morticians favorite time?
The dead of night
63. Are undead frogs always croaking?
64. How would you describe Igor?
A dealy de-parted
65. What is a zombie's favorite book?
Timothy of Decay
66. Are these jokes jokes about the pundead?
67. Do bar owning ghosts serve spirits?
68. Why didn't the spirit run for office?
He didn't stand a ghost of a chance.
69. Are dead autobiographies written by someone else ghost writters?
70. Why do morticians like Las Vegas craps tables?
People frequently die.
71. Which mortician supposedly wrote the Princess Bride?
Stanley Morgue-enstern
72. What is the favorite constellation for morticians?
The Coroner borealis
73. What do you give at a sheep's funeral?
A ewe-logy
74. Alternative definition: A want to be creamated
A burning desire
75. Do dairy farmers get cream-ated?
76. Two cars crashed their owners heald a wreck-uiem?
77. A man doesn' t turn left, he goes the other direction and dies, what happened?
He took his last rights
78. Do dead computers have o-bit-uaries?
79. Do dead astrononauts have orbit-uaries?
80. What do you call a 6 foot undertaker who really should be 12 feet?
6 feet under.
81. What did they call it when world's largest cow died?
They said she was 6 feet udder
82. What do you call a reading of the scottish poet?
An in-Hume-ation
83. Which ancient egyptian king had a larger armored division than any of his predaccessors?
Two-Tank-kamun
84. Have you heard about the flag bearer who took the flag into the coffin with him?
His standards were lowered.
85. Are gravediggers often grounded?
86. Why do most people die in the spring?
So that they can have a funeral March
87. What motto do you get if you cross a funeral with an environmentalist?
Save the wails
88. Where do underwater volcanoes go go when they die?
To a Fumerole parlor
89. What do you have for a dead plant?
Have a fern-eral
90. What is a mortician's favorite epic tragedy?
Die-do and Aeneas
91. Who is a mortician's favorite Greek hero?
Dead-alus
92. How do boats die?
They keel over
93. Do mortician's Die-t?
94. What is the opposite of an autopsy?
An aubottomsy
95. What is a morticians assistant's favorite type of cow?
The gurney
96. What is an undertaker's favorite old time movie?
Ben Hearse
97. Helen Hearse?
98. What is an undertaker's favorite brand of candy?
Hearse-ies
99. Which Star Trek figure is a mortician's favorite?
Dead-a (data)
100. What is an undertaker's favorite star?
The death star
101. What has happened after reading all of this?
I have killed your brain cells
Making Fun of the Little Things
1. Which Staining procedure wins the most races?
Acid Fast
2. What does a microbe wear?
Anae-robe
3. What is a microbe's favorite comic strip?
Agar the horrible
4. How much does a microbe spot weigh?
One Gram stain
5. One Microbiologist asks another: "Are you going to determine the aerotolerance of these organisms?"
"I'll take a stab at it."
6. What do really tall microbe join if they are really good at basketball?
The EMBA
7. What do pink/yellow salt fermenting bacteria go to Florida to swim with?
The Mannitols
8. What keeps bacteria regular?
Mannitol
9. What is the favorite bacteria of fish?
Salmon-ella
10. how do bacteria tile their roofs?
With Salmonella shingellas
11. How are most microbes like vampires?
They thrive on blood (sheep's blood agar)
12. What do thioglycolates and the New York power grids have in common?
They both often experience black outs
13. How is a bacterial party like an agglutination reaction?
both are bacterial get togethers
14. How is shooting a gun like a corporation like a bacterial test?
They all have Ames
15. What do you call the train bacteria ride that takes them across country?
Anthrax
16. What do you call immune before and after pictures?
Anti-bodies
17. Why do microbiologists so often lack a sense of humor?
Because microbiology is cereus business
18. Spare the rod spoil the Bascilus?
19. What bacterial church can you find in the vatican?
The Bascilusca
20. What is the favorite means of communication amoung microbiologists?
The Cell Phone.
21. What can you find in a calf-eteria?
Vaca-teria (Vaca is Spanish for cow)
22. What is the opposite of bacteria?
Fronteria
23. What should bacteria get when they turn 50?
A colony-oscopy
24. What do you call a book written by Orson Scott Card about bacteria?
Endospore's Game
25. Why do bacteria use a mapogen and a compassogen?
To find the pathogen
26. What do you call a bacteria that doesn't like enclosed spaces?
a closteridiumophobic
27. Who is a famous martial artist bacteria?
Brucella Lee
28. Name a punk rock microbe?
Gogol Bordetella (Gogol Bordello is the band, Bordetella is a microbe)
29. What is a favorite computer game among bacteria?
tetani
30. Who is a microbe's favorite artist?
M.C. Eschericia
31. What do you call a microbe with clout?
Influenzial
32. Where do the Desperate House Microbes live?
Listeria Lane
33. Here today gonorrhoeae tomorrow
34. What do you call a tough decision for bacteria?
An either aureus question
35. What do you call bacterial primnary elections?
Coccuses
36. What does a mother bacteria say when her son is acting strange?
Aw its just a phage
37. What is a bacteria's favorite cartoon show about warrior tortises?
Teenage mutans Ninja Turtles
38. What bacterial book did Voltaire write?
Candida
39. How do you color cows?
With a cattle-ase test
40. What do you call a cell with no internal organelles that sings?
Pro-karaoke-ic
41. Alternative definition: Microbiology Lab Aid
agar management
42. What does the business world call the edge of a bacterial colony?
Profit margins
43. What do you call the stuff all over the lab benches?
Counter stain
44. Why is microbiology such a dangerous sport?
There is a lot of violets It can also stain a reputation
45. If you take the CT out of a citrate test, is it an irate test?
46. How is a football runing back like dental microbiology?
They are both concerned with number of caries
47. What do you get if you cross high level calculus with microbiology?
Ordinary differential stains
48. What do you often find on crates of breakable microbes?
Flagella
49. What type of bacteria is sold in adult only shops?
aerogenes
50. What was the Crocodile Hunter's favorite microbe?
Steve Erwinia
51. Jimmy please use the word Euglena in a sentence.
Eu made a mess, Euglena clean it up?
52. does a red blood cell ever feel that the wall are just concaving in on it?
53. I got a parasite, but I think it was just a fluke.
54. what type of parasite is most commonly found in whale flippers?
Flukes
55. What is a paracite's favorite Star Wars character?
Fluke Skywalker
56. Why did the bacteria look simply glowing?
It was covered in fluorescein
57. Why is a Gram positive bacteria grown on EMB like a martyr?
It dyes for our eosins
58. What is an electron microscopes favorite Tom Cruise movie?
Tranmission impossible
59. Do Amoeba ever break up on dates?
60. Which organism is a favorite among track stars?
giardia--It gives you the runs
61. How do flatworms freshen their breathe?
With helminths
62. What does a flatworm put on to keep its head safe in a crash?
A helminth
63. What does a bacteria call it when a sheep clumps?
Flock-ulence
64. How is a bumble bee like someone with Human Immunodeficiency Virus?
They both have HIVs
65. How is a microbiolgy test like a biased politician?
they both have slants
66. Do bacteria carry their hydrolysis in a brief-casein
67. Are robber bacteria casin the joint?
68. Does Borrelia burgdorferi have a tequilla with its Lyme?
69. Where do Roman microbes fight?
The E. Coli-seum
70. Every ten years bacteriologist count populations--its a Serratia mar-census
71. If energy goes into the Entner pathway does it leave through the exitner pathway
72. What do you get if you mix geology with microbiology?
Mica-robes
73. What field do most people with a microbiology degree go into?
Light field microscopy
74. If there is a mannitol to be fair is there a womannitol?
75. Jimmy please use mannitol in a sentence.
I built a tank needing 130 people to run it, but I couldn't mannitol.
76. If you cross a mink with a weasel do you get measles?
77. During the microbe riot there was lots of luteusing
78. How are alcoholic drinks like microbe drug tests?
Both should be used at the Minimum Inhibition Concentration
79. How is a microbiology culture isolation test similar to a homeless man's eating surface?
one is a pour plate the other is a poor plate.
80. What do you get if you cross a university in Pennsylvania with a very effective antibiotic?
Pennicillium State
81. What do you call an eclusive septum swam of a 1930s mysterious comic book character?
Only the Shadow's Nose
82. What do you call the passing fashions of electron transporter molecules?
A FADH2
83. The dentist earned an award an was presented a plaque.
84. What type of car does a protozoan drive?
A Giardia lamblia-ghini
85. Which protozoan stars in Mission Impossible?
Tom Trympanosoma cruzi
86. Which bacteria plays Captian Jean Luc Picard?
Patrick Provendcia stuartii
87. Which bacteria is the red herring villan in Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code?
Father aeruginosa
88. What do you call it if you spread a sports stars winning record across agar?
A winning streak
89. Are rabbit babies rabies?
90. Which parasite was written about by J.R.R. Tolkein?
The One ringworm
91. Alternative definition: Selective Media
Fox News
92. What replaced the tapeworm?
the CDworm
93. What do you call a parasite that detects vibrations?
Tremor-todes
94. Jimmy, please use the word Urease in a sentence?
How do you tell who is faster, urease.
95. What do you call a horse in water?
A wet mount
96. What is the motto of slow fungus?
Last but not yeast
97. Which fungus plays Rocky?
Slyvester stolonifer
98. Where do bacteria keep their money?
In a bank-omyacin
99. How do fungus listen to loud music?
On an ampicillin-afier (On an amplifier)
100. What keep Noah the dry?
His arc-haea
101. After reading these jokes what are you?
Well cultured
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
2006: A year in Review
2006 BC The first agricultural tribes appeared on the Bactrian Plain (Afghanistan).
(NG, 3/90, p.62)
2006 BC Bronze-age mounds from this time in Turkman SSR indicate that Central Asians built cities around oases and developed a flourishing civilization with monumental architecture, sophisticated gold and silver craft, and irrigation agriculture.
(NG, 3/90)
c2006 BC At Arbor Low in Derbyshire, England, a Bronze Age stone circle was constructed.
(SFEM, 10/11/98, p.21)
c2006 BC Silbury Hill, located on the prehistoric site of Avebury (named after nearby Avebury, England), is the largest prehistoric mound in Europe. The artificial hill, which rises up 130 feet, was constructed over three separate phases beginning at least 4,000 years ago. Although the shape of the mound is similar to smaller earthen constructions used for burials, its purpose remains a mystery.
(HNQ, 6/8/01)
2006 BC The initial phase of what scientists call Stonehenge III was begun about 100 years after Stonehenge II with the lentil structure familiar to modern visitors. The builders continued improvements on Stonehenge III up until about 1550BC, well before historical records of the Druids or the Romans. Both Stonehenge and a neighboring circular monument were added to UNESCO's World Heritage List--a listing of cultural and natural sites--in 1986.
(HNQ, 3/3/01)
2006 BC For as many as 4,000 years, the salty sand of the Taklimakan Desert in China held well-preserved mummies wearing colorful robes, boots, stockings and hats. The people were Caucasian not Asian. The bodies have been exhumed from the Tarim Basin of Xinjiang province since the late 1970s.
(SFC, 5/6/96, p.C-1)
2006 BC Balathal, outside the city of Udaipur in northeast India, was a Chalcolithic village. The people used copper tools and weapons. Terra-cotta figurines of bulls have been found at the site. It was abandoned and reoccupied c340BC.
(AM, Mar/Apr 97 p.B)
2006 BC Legends from Mecca indicate that the prophet Abraham built the Kaaba about this time. The Kaaba is a shrine meaning cube in Arabic, that enclosed the idols of their gods. Religious rituals were performed around the Kaaba which had a black stone embedded into a corner, said to be a gift to Abraham from the angel Gabriel for his belief in one god. By CE 500 more than 360 idols were housed within the Kaaba.
(ATC, p.57)
2006 BC About this time the Egyptians domesticated the cat in order to catch snakes. Advances in astronomy enabled the Egyptians to predict the annual flooding of the Nile.
(eawc, p.2)
c2006 BC An Egyptian painting on an interior tomb wall depicted 6 men scrubbing, wringing and folding a cloth.
(SFC, 10/11/97, p.E3)
2006 BC By this time Baltic amber reached the Mediterranean and was found in ancient Mycenaean shaft graves.
(PacDis, Winter/'97, p.10)
2006 BC The Timucuan Indians lived on Cumberland Island, Georgia, back to this time.
(Sky, 4/97, p.43)
2006 BC The Hittites lived around what is now Cappadocia. They mixed with the already-settled Hatti and were followed by the Lydians, Phrygians, Byzantines, Romans and Greeks. The name Cappadocia comes from the Hittite for "land of pretty horses."
(SFEC, 9/14/97, p.T14)
c2006 BC In India Tantra, a quasireligious doctrine, dates back to this time. Its first texts were in Sanskrit and the original adherents practiced ritual copulation.
(WSJ, 12/7/98, p.A1)
c2006 BC The Sumerian goddess Inanna was a fertility figure.
(SFEC, 9/27/98, BR p.7)
c2006 BC A palace was built at Qatanah, 12 miles south of Damascus, Syria, that was discov ered in 1999.
(SFEC, 11/21/99, p.A6)
2006 BC-1790BC The wooden statue of chancellor Nakhti and carved face of governor Hapidjefai date to Egypt’s Middle Kingdom. They are now in the French Louvre.
(WSJ, 1/29/98, p.A16)
2006 BC-1600BC In Mesopotamia the Old Babylonian period began after the collapse of Sumer, probably due to an increase in the salt content of the soil that made farming difficult. Weakened by poor crops and lack of surplus goods, the Sumerians were conquered by the Amorites, situated in Babylon. The center of civility shifted north. The Amorites preserved much of the Sumerian culture but introduced their own Semitic language, an early ancestor to Hebrew, into the region.
(eawc, p.2)
2006 BC-1600BC The Middle Minoan period. Middle Minoan I finds polychrome decoration in pottery with elaborate geometrical patterns; we also discover interesting attempts to picture natural forms, such as goats and beetles. There then follows some great catastrophe. Middle Minoan II includes the period of the great palace of Phaestos and the first palace of Knossos. This period also includes the magnificent polychrome pottery called Kamares ware. Another catastrophe occurs. The second great palace of Knossos was built and begins the Middle Minoan III. It was distinguished by an intense realism in art, speaking clearly of a rapid deterioration in taste. Pictographic writing was clearly developed, with a hieratic or cursive script derived from it, adapted for writing with pen and ink.
(R.M.-P.H.C.p.17)
2006 BC-1600 In Oman a transitional culture known as early Wadi Suq.
(AM, May/Jun 97 p.49)
2006 BC-1500BC The events of the Indian Ramayana epic, written around 500BC, supposedly took place about this time period.
(AM, 7/04, p.50)
2006 BC-1550BC The Babylonians built an empire.
(WH, 1994, p.12)
2006 BC-1500BC In Greece the Minoan civilization, named after the Cretan ruler Minos, reached its height with central power in Knossos on the isle of Crete. The culture was apparently more female-oriented and peaceful than others of the time.
(eawc, p.2)
2006 BC-1000BC Early preclassic period of the Maya.
(AM, May/Jun 97 suppl. p.B)
2006 BC-1000BC In Italy Indo-Europeans slowly began to inhabit the north by way of the Alps. They brought the horse, the wheeled cart, and artistic knowledge of bronze work to the Italian peninsula. The Greeks and the Etruscans occupied different regions of the peninsula during the 8th century.
(eawc, p.2)
2006 BC-500BC Aryan tribes lived in Aryana (Ancient Afghanistan). The City of Kabul is thought to have been established during this time. Rig Veda may have been created in Afghanistan around this time. Evidence of early nomadic iron age in Aq Kapruk IV.
(www.afghan, 5/25/98)
And there you have it a review of the year 2006 BC.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
A Merry Christmas Eave
But I thought I would leave you with this cheery Christmas EAVE
Oh and just to be bragging, I get to spend the next week lounging on a beach in Southern California with my very loving grandparents. :P Boasts aside, I wish you all the best of Chris-mooses and a Happy Moo- Year !
http://www.toykeeper.com/MaryMeyer/rascals/moose.jpg
Thursday, December 21, 2006
So its Christmas Break I have a Computer and
Incidently the above was from quizsoup.com Aposteri I am also a black jack player.
It also so happens that I am 4 fingered Sully.
I have a quize here:
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=061221151556-135277&
I have been exploring here:
http://bonaly.org.uk/games/
P.S. Help making the above an actual link would be much appreciated.
And as if making a list of games for every scouting merit badge weren't enough, you might have noticed I've been a little bored lately, hence the proliferation of random personna tests. But Good luck, Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year or something like that.
If Statisticians ruled the world
Marriages:
And do you John, fail to reject your null hypothesis of Marsha?
With a P-value of less tha 0.05 I Do fail to reject Marsha
And you, Marsha? Based on the available data on this man what is your conclusion?
With a 95% certainty I too fail to reject this man.
College Acceptance letters:
Dear Mr. Boom,
We regret to inform you that we have failed to reject your application.
Game shows:
Is that your final answer?
I fail to reject C +/- 2 letters with 99% confidence
Online Legal Notices:
Click here to fail to reject our terms
Courts of Law:
How do you plead?
+/- Not Guilty, where my null hypothesis is H0: T=0, where t is time spent in prison. My alternative hypothesis is H1: T >0 I will choose alpha to be 100% and walk away a free man because alpha is never 1.
...
Members of the jury report your findings.
We the members of the jury conclude that there is no significant difference between the hypothesis of the prosecution and the hypothesis of the defense therefore we fail to reject the null hypothesis that we even cared.
Advertising:
Clinical studies have shown that in 9 out of 10 cases our product has significantly improved the lifespan of its users by plus or minus 76 years! And it fails to reject the claim of whitening teeth too! Order now for three easy payments of a lot plus or minus some, We reject the claim of bein available in Canada.
School Administrations:
In a sample of size 1 it was found that your son's GPA with a 95% certainty is a 2.0 +/- 2.0. We regret to inform you that we must therefore reject and fail to reject the hypothesis that your son has made the valley view Honor roll.
Billing:
You owe $X.YZ dollars. Given a 12 month sample of size U find a 95% confidence interval given a total error of 3.00 or less, solve for X Y and Z
Parents:
Now Jimmy, here's how you tie your shoes within one standard deviation.
Young man, I want with a 99% certainty the sample Y-X to = 0 where Y is the Number of vegtables served at time zero and X is the number of vegtables consumed at time final. Find P(x
Jimmy, Sally, and Joh-- There is no significant difference in my love for each of you. I love equally all 2.4 of you
Hey Mom, can I watch channel 07 +/- 02
I am on page 135 +/- 0.01
Phone Books:
555-1123 +/- 1
somewhere within the interval bounded by 10th West and 10th East and 10th South and 10th North, Somewhere within the United States with a 95% certainty.
Clothing Stores:
Ma'm do you have a size small +/- and XL?
I have a 48 +/- 12 inch waist, and a 13 +/- 2 shoe size.
Its a good thing only lawyers run our society and not statisticians.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Santa is an Eagle Scout
Santa is an Eagle Scout,
it's very plain to see.
Just listen to this little poem
and you'll agree
Santa navigates by the stars
on Christmas Eve.
After all, his first merit badge
was Astronomy.
To fly his sleigh
with finesse,
Santa took
Aviation merit badge next.
Santa and his reindeer
have a friendly alliance.
He learned it all
while earning Veterinarian Science.
Engineering merit badge
was very hard for Santa Claus.
Going down a chimney is an engineering feat,
if there ever was.
Santa's service project
was for all the boys and girls.
He delivers toys
all around the world.
And lastly, Santa's work on
Communication merit badge was out of sight
That's when he thought of the phrase
"Merry Christmas and to all a good night"
written by Todd McMahon
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Online quizes are never wrong right?
" I may be termed a Boring person by my peers. This is sometimes because of your non-enthusiasm, dull attitude and old fashioned ways. it would do you good to add some zing to your life!"
There you have it folks, straight from the ehorse's mouth. I am boring. Now for another batch of 101 puns to cheer me up.
More Alternative Definitions
The age of a rodent cutting down trees
2. Impov:
Sans Skript
Beantler: The second branch fromt eh base of a deer's antler
Bibliomancy: making random predictions from the bible.
3. Bicuspid:
When the dentist isn't pulling your leg.
4. Bigamist:
Large Italian fog
5. Biceps:
Your Flexability
6. Bigarreau:
An Opera by Mozart (actually a type of cherry)
7. Binary:
2 Canaries
8. Topless Beach:
A place with no strings attached (sorry)
9. Bilge:
What gets sailors pumped up
10. Billings Gate: a fish market in London known for foul vulgar abusive talk--Not to be confused with the talk that results from dealing with a special computer someone.
11. Billionaire:
Middle class
12. Bullemia:
Life with its urps and downs
13. Biochemistry:
A totally tube-ular science
14. Bird of Prey:
A catholic eagle
15. Birth:
Your comming out day
16. Black eyed Susan:
An abuse case
17. Blade:
A way of making your point
18 Beach farming:
Splash and Berm agriculture
19. Blank verse:
Not doing an English assignment
20. The Blarney Stone:
Something that needs kissing up to
21. Future Blazonry:
Harlding times to come
22.Blotchologist:
A job that is spotty at best
23. Blintz:
Rollin in the dough
24. blockade:
The kid who helps you put away your blocks
25. Blockage:
See arteries
26. Blonde:
Its not a hair color its a way of life
27. Fugitive:
One who is chaste
28. blow torch:
Escaping by the ascetalyne of your pants
29. Bludgeon stick:
Night club
Random joke:
Which aviation enthusiast and early 1900s philanthropist really likes color?
Howard Hues
30. Successful Bluff:
Call collect
31. Boar:
One who hogs a communication
32. Bobby Pin:
A British Police sting
33. Bob sled Runner:
A Slayer
34. Corset:
Chest Compressions
Wrap sheet
See also low Resolution
35. Full Cavity check:
A good dentist
36. Ebola:
An online website devoted to thrown weapons on a string used for entangling.
37. bad bolt:
One that doesn't hold its ground well
38. Bomb Shell:
The remains of an animal found on an Iraqi beach
39. A fighter jet taking off with after burners:
A device for leaving you wondering whats the uproar
40. Book of matches:
The most reading some people do
41. Boomerang:
A return investment
Something that can't easily be tossed away
42. Border patrol:
A boundary value problem
43. Bulkans:
I can't hear you you are breaking up
44. I think the dealings at the Boston Tea Party went a little overboard
Botryoidal :resssembling a bunch of grapes
45. Boutique:
A Craft Fare
46. Bow:
A device with a lot of drawbacks (the same is true of a football team)
47. Bowsprit:
The part of a ship that really gets you a wake
48. Violin bow:
We all have our foibbles
Random joke:
What do astronomers fold?
The plait-eis
49. Bracers:
Armed gaurds
50. Bracing:
Whats the hold up
51. Braille:
Connect the dots
52. Brain:
Connect the thoughts
53. Unlavend bread:
Last but not yeast
54. Breeding ground:
A Teem environment
55. Brew:
Good for what ales ya
56. Brick Kiln:
A place under heavy mortar fire
57. A bride without a groom:
One who weds herself
58. What do you call a euphausid clock:
Time to krill
59. Brine:
Assault
60. Returns:
Taken aback
61. Broach:
What is found in unclean bapartments
62. Broken:
World Piece
63. Brooding:
A mother worrying about her young
64. Toddler snakes:
Brownie in motion
Brume: is a fog
Bubble and Squek is an English dish of cabbage and potatoes
67. Budget:
A spendable allowance
68. treadmill:
Something that gives you the run around
A Bumbershoot is an umbrella
69. Bunghole:
One who gets tight with barrels
70. Burdock
See an attachment
71. Burdock:
A real stickler
72. Bunsen Burner:
An old flame
73. Burreau:
Holding agency
74. Burreaucrat:
Red tape dispencer
75. Burgomeister:
A magnate material
76. Burlesque:
A house of Whore
77. Burlesque:
A place where they practice can-can-abalism
78. Burn when things are starting to heat up
79. Butt Joint:
Don't even think about smoking it
80. Button:
Something that must be pushed, especially if red
81.Button Mold:
What grows on your nice shirts if you don't wash them
82. Buttress:
A female butterfly
Like a mistress but for your butt
What ladies wear that is long an flowing and covers their back side (butt dress)
85. Buzz saw:
What was seen by Edwin Aldrin on the first landing on the moon. What _____
86. Buzz saw:
How a bee cuts wood
87. Byzantine:
Roman in the fall
I've been Bee-zy, but I'll post a few more for good Bee-ness. Since the dictionary ran out of words witha bee that I could make fun of I thought perhaps I could finish off with a spelling Bee of sorts.
88. does a Bee break out in hives??
89. Do Bee matriachs have to worry about beeing drag queens?
90. What is an Apis mellifera's (the scientific name for a bee) favorite online game?
Bee-jeweled
91. What does the relative of a wasp sleep?
When it is her Bee-dtime
92. What was the question on a bumblers math final?
Two Bee or not two bee?
93. Bee paparatzi stay up on the latest buzz.
94. What do you call a clutsy flying insect?
A Bumbling bee
95. Do bees play hive and go seek?
96. Two bees were in a race to a flower?
It was necter necter all the way
97. Do bees go into pollentics?
98. What is a bees favorite piano piece by Chopin?
His pollen-aise
99. What does a bee call an Italian cornmeal dish?
Pollen-ta
100. Who is an insects favorite blues guitar player?
Bee-Bee King
101. Hive a Great Day!! And remember BEE prepared.
From Nerdtests.com
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates ya know.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
My latest mental wanderings
Some might answer that it is the mathematician that holds the entire fate of this shape in his hands controlling where it is place what its dimensions are where it is defined and the rest of the whole gamut of a 3D objects life. Is this the case, or is it that the shape was always there and the mathematicians have just now discovered it? Was Shroedenger right? Do we need to oberserve something for it to exist or is its existance independant of our observation? Can we reach our full potential on our own or do we need the input of others? Does our work exist if there is no one to recognize it? Or are we dependant upon the imaginations of others in our very existance? Can we determine ourself or are we constructed by society?
Let us consider this shape further. Regardless of the details a shape exists (?). But why does it take the form it does? One answer to this is that it is defined by what came before, a shape is defined by the pieces that make it up. A cube is defined by the square. A sphere is defined by its circle. All of these can be represented by equations once initial parameters have been defined. We are a product of our component parts and we too are subject to what has come before. We are the integration of our genetics, our parent's are friends all of history, all of time and space. We are a product of the equations that compose us DNA RNA et al, and we are of our environment. We are the function that effects and is effected by the vector field. There are forces acting upon us at every point in every second for all time. But here there is a difference between us and the cube. We are non-deterministic. We have free will we are able to choose our path and our actions even though they might be played out for us.
How is this possible you might ask. Consider this, On my calculator I have on my calculator a function composed of three completely random variables. It is impossible for me to predict the path it will take, I do not know how long it will take, but I know without a doubt the final outcome. Always. Even though the function is completly random. I love this program as it is metaphoric of our very existance. Some might say that if we truly have free will how then can an all knowing God know what we will do? Others suggest that if there is no god what then is the point of our existance (to find our very purpose IS our purpose, but this is a subject for a later day!). But if we have a devine plan how can we possibly have free will? The function to which I earlier alluded provides the key. There is an equation that models the path. There is a god over seeing our lives, there is a purpose an equation of life if you will. But there is also free will randomness. The answer is known, and yet it isn't! I suggest as evidence of this, consider God hedging his bets. Inspiring two people simultaneously one accepting one choicing to reject, perhaps even God doesn't know which is which. Perhaps he can see all possible outcomes of either one or both. I do not know. but this would predict, if it were true that many people should be inspired by similar ideas at about the same time. Alexander Graham Bell Patented the telephone 4 hours before a William (?) Grey. Nichola Tessla patented the radio days before Marconi. The pattern repeats throughout history. What does that mean? That is for you to say.
But, we are not done yet. Let us consider again that shape we obtained earlier. It is true that a shape is defined by its component parts, but how we perceive these parts is subject to interpretation. See this post and its link. (check it out later its worth it.)
http://fishingtherabbithole.blogspot.com/2006/12/precieving-truth.html
That shape we were mentioning: what would happen if it were a cylinder? When viewed from the side its component part is a two dimensional rectangle. If you are in a 2D mindset no matter how you look at it, even if you consider all of the evidence available to you, you will only, can only see a 2 dimensional rectangle. If you are in side of this rectangle you will see material in every direction you look. If you are suck viewing this object from above or below you will see something completely contradictory to a rectangle. You will see a circle. Were the viewer of the circle to meet the viewer of the rectangle or the viewer of empty space They would each be solidly convinced (I would apologize for the pun, but its my site so I won't) that what they saw was truly universal truth. It could be no other way. For how on Earth can a circle be a rectangle. You are WRONG I am RIGHT! Universal truth is MINE! GOD is on MY SIDE! Your comment that God is a rectangle--pure lunacy! We shall war!
But wait, they are both right, even though they are contradictory. God is one, God is all. He is within us and around us. We are in his image. He act through us and we become him. God is singular and he is pluaral. He is here and now and there and then. He has a plan and we are part of it yet we are allowed to do our thing. 3-1-300,000 It is all the same. Truth exists for everyone.
Ah, but here's the kicker. We still are not done! We have considered the solid, made mention of the fact there are probably other solids out there possibly even in here. It is only a matter of where you search and being open to the answers you find. Let us complete our mathematical journey and consider my final point (pun intended). The zero dimensional object.
We have said that a shape is determined by is component surfaces--Remembering it is entirely possible to have infinitely many surfaces, a shape is nonetheless determined by them. And that a surface is constrained by the many vectors that make up its existance. But what about a point? Why is a point there? A line exists and is defined if only one other point exists. A rule a guideline. A constraint of society. Others will force us into a fixed mold, but the point is free. The point is Zen. Two points is rules and society. Interaction with others. One point is self and the only thing that can be said of the point is where it is at and that it exists. Our observation affects the point because as soon as we observe it there is a distance between us and it there is a path a destination a line/line segment--a line cut short of its full potential. It is unknown what it could have been or how far along in its life it would have been if we were not there. A point, an individual can become anything go anywhere. More fascinating still is that from just a few points an entire world can be defined. Change even 1 point and the world is a different place. Change even one life and the world is changed.
Remember the individual is free to act. And it is the individual at the intersection of infinitely many others that changes the path the others were traveling. X two lines composed of infinitely many individuals intersect always at only one point. It is up to the dot the zero dimensional object. The things that cannot be measured and are not seen that matter most. They are the ones who can change the line of societies path.
In short, be the dot! Change the worlds path! You can do it! All you have to do is plot out how. Good Night, Good Luck!
101 Pop Culture Puns
1. Who's your soda daddy?
Your soda pop.
2. What is a soda musical?
The fanta of the Opera
3/4. What do you call a soda pixie?
A Fanta-asm
A Sprite
5. What do steel mills and soda factories have in common?
They both have coke
6. Hear about the soda that lost his/her job?
He got canned
7. What about the boxing soda?
He got popped
8. What goes well with soda?
Pop corn
From: http://inventors.about.com/od/foodrelatedinventions/a/soft_drinks.htm
In 1767, the first drinkable man-made glass of carbonated water was created by Englishmen Doctor Joseph Priestley. Three years later, Swedish chemist Torbern Bergman invented a generating apparatus that made carbonated water from chalk by the use of sulfuric acid. Bergman's apparatus allowed imitation mineral water to be produced in large amounts.
9. Alternative definiton: Vender
Name for a math student dealing with intersecting circles usually two or three
10. With the increase of CO2 into the atmosphere, does that make the US a Carbon-nation?
11. What is a Wicked soda song?
Pop-ular
From Wikipedia:
In Arabic countries soft drinks are usually called either mashroob ghasi, meaning literally "gas drinks" مشروبات غازي
Canned Coffee is popular in japan.
Drink Concentrates in England are called squash.
12. What do you get if you mix root beer and Godzilla?
Sarsasparilla
13. If the market for Energy Drinks is going up but still losing money, is that a Red Bull Market?
14. How do you season a cola?
With a pinch of Dr. Pepper
15. What do you call a eucalyptus eating marsupial soda?
A Cola bear
16. What do you call the inability to digest a soda?
APepsis
More from Wiki:
17. Pschitt is a French soda created by Perrier in 1954. The name originates in the transcription in French of the noise made by a Perrier bottle when it is opened.
Pascual Boing is a Mexican soft drinks company.
Amrat Cola is a brand of cola manufactured by the Pakistan Mineral Water Bottling Plant.
18. If you are in Paraguay drinking a soda and are mauled by a lion, is that Simba?
Julmust is a Sweedish holiday drink of great secrets and popularity. (In the month of December Julmust outnumbers Sweedes ( gal/ sweede)
19. Aparently it is an artificial Sweedener. That joke Julmust worked.
20. What do you call a lying soft drink?
Mr. Phibb
21. The grapefruit soda was arrested?
When the police got there he was freshca-ed
22. What does a Swedish passion fruit and the largest city in Australia have in common?
One is Sydney, the other is a Sidni
23. What does a non-carbonated Swedish drink have in common with a holiday from Seinfeld?
One is a festivus for the rest of us and the other is a Festis (that joke really didn't work but I had to include it after completely missing festivus in my last batch so enjoy and go put up a pole)
Milkis is a carbonated milk beverage bottled in Korea. It is said to improve your ability at starcraft?
24. You had better bundle up, you might catch a cola.
25. Are soda bacteria E. cola?
26. What do you call a Tinidad and tobago soad rapper?
BUSTA rhymes
27. What do you call a boy band made of soda?
pop singers
28. Nuclear soda scientist developed nuclear Fizz-ion
29. After getting seven green and white mushrooms on Mario bros, what soda have you earned?
A 7 up
30. What is a soda popular in Sweden?
Sven up
31. After being shocked I got a jolt from my cafenated soda.
32. What do you call fizzy bottled water Pilgrims?
Purier-tans
33. What do you call a perverted soda?
Dr. Peeper
34. Don't mind root beer, their barq is vorse than their bite.
35. What do you call a track event for soda?
Cola VAULTing
36. How do sodas know who is on their phones?
With cola id
37. The orange soda couldn't get a date. He was Crushed.
38. They are now making a soda popular with surfers.
They are calling it Blue Crush (If you don't get this Blue Crush was an older relatively obscure surf movie)
39. Have you heard about a root beer coorporation accepting applications?
They are now Hire-ing
40. What do you get if you mix up A Wand with a keg?
A and W
41. Why movie starred Kevin Costner and a field of vanilla flavored sodas?
Field of creams
42. What is a haunted soda called?
Scream soda
43. What do you get if you cross vector calculus of mass losing particles going into space and an imitiation soda?
Diet Dr. Rocket Science
44. What do you call soda groupies?
A fanta club
45. What do you call a Disney movie about sodas?
Fanta-asia
46. Dr. Pepper was originally bottled as a medicine if it had instead been a ginger product would the motto have been "Good for what ales ya"
47. If P. Cola is Pepsi Cola is a strong wind really a soda?
G. ale (gail/ ginger ale)
48. What do you call a soda that can stop rain?
Hawaiian Puncho
49. Before and after Hawaiian Puncho Villa
50. What do you get if you cross a multi flavor soda brewing company with an action oriented archaeologist?
Indiana Jones
51/53. Who cleans up after sodas?
The minute maid She is also married to the minute man, the one who lives on Drury Lane.
54. What do you get if you cross a yellow soda with Yo-yo Ma?
Mello cello. (And from here on out there will be no mo Yo yo Ma was so fat or stupid or other wise jokes)
55. What do you get if you cross a highly caffenated soda with a sketch artist?
Mountain Drew
56/58. If you shoot a root beer can what is it?
a. Can tankardous
b. holy
c. A Mug shot
59. Energy orb soda has gone into Orbitz.
60. What does Patriot's Choice cola and a computer have in common?
They are both PCs
61. Why is buying a generic soda condescending?
Because they are both Patriotnizing.
When invented Pepsi's theme line was "Exhilarating, Invigorating, Aids Digestion."
62. What does a soda brand have in common with a remote car?
Both are R.C.s
63. What do you call ginger ale under the carpet?
A Schweppe under the rug
64. What do you call the governator of soda California?
Arnold Schweppes-seneiger
65. The sodas won all of their games it was a clean schweppe.
66. Sierra shot, but Sierra Mist
67. What do you call a Jamaican soda religion?
Shasta-farians
68. who pays for a diet soda?
Whoever picks up the tab?
69. What soda is found on a keyboard?
Tab
70. How do you turn off a soda's lights?
With a Sunny De-Light
71. Where do sodas store their money?
In a vault
72. What do you call an expulsive release of gas from a grape soda company?
Belchs
73. What type of clothes do drinks wear?
Capri-suns
74. What do you call a changable soda?
A Capri-cious
75. What grows in soda gardens?
A Dr. Bell Pepper
76. How do you fix a hole in a beverage?
With a soda machine
77.How do root beers great each other?
IBCing you real soon
78. Does the orange soda that golfs need to work on its slice?
79. What soda is the most popular with squid?
Squirt
80. What do you get if you have a fulcrum and a soda arm?
Beverage and Arcimedies said if you give me enough beverage I could move the world.
81. What is a soda's favorite flower?
A POP-py
82/85.Characters in Soda wars:
Master Soda
Obi Wan CANobe
Darth Soda
Chew-Barq-a
86. What is a fun computer game with Ginger ale?
Mine Schwepper
87. What is a famous soda golf course?
Pibb-le beach
88. Who is a famous soda actor?
William Shasta
89. Before and After/alternative definition: Microsoft drink
What you get at McDonalds after you remove all the ice.
90. How do the Ice Borg move across the universe?
In an Ice cube
91. If you freeze a cream soda what do you get?
Vanilla Ice
92. Are arguments about drink siphons largely strawman arguments?
93. What type of speciation affects beverage container tops?
Al-lid-patric speciation
Warning offensive:
94. What determines the amount of enjoyment obtained from a soda?
Cup size (SORRY!)
95. Where does a soda take a visiting alien?
Two liter
96. What do you give a saccrine-aholic for his/her anniversary?
A Suc-rose
97. Alternative definition: Cannibull
The container for a brand of energy drink
98. Where is most ginger ale is bottled?
CANada
99. What do you call it when one of the Spice Girls calls in sick?
Ginger ail
100. What is a not so soft drink?
GINger ale
101. Is it over?
Soda
Alternative definition: Pop
What your brain just did.
Monday, December 11, 2006
A vote if you will
101 Holiday Puns

101 Holiday Puns
(Ever notice the correlation between 101 and lol ?)
1 What is a the favorite vietnamese Nintendo game played during december?
TETris
2. Are Jewish Christmases a Minorah-ty? (Sorry!)
3. Is being cut off from all Hallow's eve being halloweaned?
4. What is the favorite holiday of bars and pubs?
The fifth of July
5. What do you call a December 25 fog?
A Christ-mist
6. What is a popular board game around the holidays?
Its a Wonderful LIFE.
7. What is a time-travelers favorite season?
Christmas, because of all the present that is there
8. What do you eat with firemilk during the fourth of July?
firecrackers
9. Who does Adam go with to the year end party?
New Year's Eve
10. How do holiday mascots go to sleep?
Ala the Santa man
11. Which actress is popular with Christmas trees?
Judy Garland
12. What does a golfer do at Christamas?
Puts up a Christmas Tee
13. Do fast paced song artists rap their gifts?
14. Does an archery director wrap his/her gift with a bow?
15. How do you lift a frozen car?
With a Jack Frost
16. How does santa work in his garden?
With his ho-ho-ho
17. Why is santa like three statisticians?
He has three separate Ho:s
18. What do military personnel of an African persuasion celebrate in?
A Kawansa hut
19. What do you call a house that is being shot at?
A Hunted house
20. What do coyotes put out for halloween?
A Jackel-lantern
21. What is the favorite holiday of Pfizer?
Valium-tines day.
22. Which day is a day of firsts?
Prescidence day
23. What holiday always comes late?
Tardi Gras.
24. I couldn't celebrate fat tuesday, I had to mow the gras.
25. What is a day of hoe-downs?
Indepen-dance-day
January 15 is National cat herder's day
Jan 2 is New year's for cats.
Jan 3 is tolkeins birthday.
26. If you were born on April 20, 1970 would you be celebrating your B-Earth-day?
27. Which day gets the most waves?
Flag day
Mar 18 is Awkward moments day and snowman burning day and Grover Cleaveland's Birthday
28. April 15 is a very taxing day
29. Do boats celebrate birth days?
30. What do hamburgers celebrate on the 17th of March?
St. Paddies Day
31. Does a Jewish garden have a Rosh bush?
32. What do you call a holiday for the relatives of butterflies?
Moth-ers day
33. HIJKMNO = Christmas--No L
34. Happy Horse/ beast of burden Equine-ox
35. Why is the Month after Black history month in Washington DC important?
It celebrates the March on Washington
36. How is Elvis like Martin Luther?
Both are the King
37. Which old time actor is popular around Christmas?
Yule Brenner
38. Which April holiday is popular with chemists?
Ether
39. What do you call Jewish fish?
Yom Kippers
40. What holiday does Miracle whip sponser?
Cinco de Mayo
41. What holiday does Home Depot sponser?
Sink-o de Mayo
42. Which mascot is the hardest to spell?
Punxsutawney--Incidently he too is bad with jokes
43. Which day is feared by pigs?
Ground-hogs day
44. What is an affalatus on jan 6 called?
an epiphany
45. Epiphany--Bless you
46. Which holiday mascot has the least spare change?
St. Nickel-less
47. Which bell ringing army is constantly drooling?
The Salivation Army
48. If someone gets a cell phone for Christmas have they been blessed with the gift of gab?
49. This Christmas take an umbrella their might be reindeer (and their droppings).
50. Which Christmas song is sung in the tropics?
Jungle Bells
51. If they hold a pie eating contest this holiday season, which song will they sing?
Oh, Come all ye facefuls.
52. How is a planetarium presentation like a rednosed ungulate?
Both are reindeerers
53. Rudolph robbed a bank--the teller was reindeered helpless.
54. What is the favorite Christmas song aboard a ship?
Deck the Halls
55. What did the gift recipient say after dropping her new china mug?
I saw three chips I saw three Chips
56. Of course Grandmasters bragging about thier wins in a hotel lobbey is chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
57. Chip and Dale got caught in a wildfire. Disney compsed a song about it. It starts something like this: Chipmunks roasting in an open fire...
58. Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December?
So they could have a married Christmas
59. Merry Christ-moose.
60. Or if you are in a salon Merry Christ-mousse
61. There was another animal in the fire that got Chip and Dale. they are now whishing everyone a merry Crisp moose
62. What is the name of Mrs. Burnett's latest holiday show?
A Christmas Carrol
63. They played an Orphan play by Dickens to celebrate Christmas.
Aparently it had a Twist ending
64. What is a popular Jewish book on winter relationships?
Wemon are from Venus Minorah from Mars.
October 30 is Haunted Refrigerator day
65. On October 31 if you bang on anything it will ring, it is after all all Hollows day.
66. What is the holiest of Islamic soups?
Top Ramadan
67. Jewish holidays that don't stand up for themselves are a real passover (sorry!)
68. A Jewish holiday took a break it is on a shavotical
69. On the 5 of November is Roy Rodgers birthday.
Beware people tend to be Trigger happy
70. What day is popular among small female ruddy canines?
Guy Fawkes day
71. Which day is popular at retirement homes?
In-Depends-dance Day
72. What does an oriental seasoning sauce wish to the world?
Soy to the world
73. What is a middle executives favorite Christmas song?
Away in a manager
74. What is a dog's favorite carol?
Bark! The harald Angels Sing
75. What is a pirates favorite Christmas song?
We three kings of orient ARRRGH!
76. What is the favorite carol of prison gaurds?
Guard arrest these merry Gentlemen
77. Which Christmas song got in a fight?
Deck the halls
78. Subordinate clause, Insubordinate clause, verb clause , noun clause, Santa claus.
79. A cat goes to the beach it get sady claws.
80. Aliens celebrate fat Tuesday.
They call it martin Gras
81. If someone gets killed on Fat Tuesday, is it a Coup de Gras?
82. Which Baha'i holiday is really a type of gum?
Bub-ble gum
83. Which day of the year is a military order/
March Fourth
84. What does the mathematician exclaim on March 14th?
Piday at My House!
85. Alternative definition: Festivity
What that sore on the back of your neck is.
86. Which holiday has the most warfare?
Tanks giving.
87. Why is easter the best holiday?
because it is Eggcellant and quite eggstraordinary
88. What do you call a pervert in an easter candy factory?
A Peep-ing Tom
89. What do you call an Easter accessory shelf?
A basket case
90. How is a dental cleaning like the fourth of July?
They both involve sparklers
91. What do you get if you cross a house with a harald angel?
Hearth the harald angel sings.
92. What happens if santa is lactose intolerant?
93. How do you find the value of taking Yule the the xth power?
You take the yule log
94. What is a monkey's favorite holiday?
Thanks gibbon
95-103. The real reindeer names:
Pincher, Pantser, prankster, vomit, stupid, dummer, quicksand, blitzkreig
Sorry I'm a cynic.
And just for later:
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love aimed at me
Twelve druglords dealing,
Eleven pipetters piping,
Ten hords a-srceeching,
Nine blades a slashing,
Eight maces a-macing,
Seven guns a-shooting,
Six needles a stabing,
Five Navel rings,
Four calling cards,
Three blasting caps,
Two hurtful shoves,
And a Cartridge filled with BB!
Caution don't do any of this at home and don't let that last one ruin your Christmas, I'm not really that mean I promise.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
So I am a Complete Techno-illiterati
Behold the Kind of logo I like:
Friday, December 08, 2006
Da Vinci gets printed
http://www.livescience.com/history/061202_ap_fingerprint.html
A New Kind of Science!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Christmas trees et al
A Lego Tree
One made entirely of Legos
A tree on a neutron star
Flat green disk for tree
Godzilla Tree
Add mouth tail arms legs to green body of tree to make Godzilla
A Tree tree
Decorate the tree with smaller mini trees
A fractal tree
decorate it with all sorts of mendelbrots et al.
To be cont.