The latest series of posts

And there you have it folks--My latest string of posts.

Jokes on the Move

101 Car Puns

1. What is a cars favorite type of guitar?
A fender

2. Which sea of cars can be found on the moon?
The sea of Crysler

3. Which river full of cars exists in Virginia?
The Pontiac

4. How do cars get across a river?
They ford it

5. Alternative definition: Fjord
A Swedish automobile

6. What do you call a dead auto?
A car-cass

7. What disorder do auto get if they type too long?
Car-pool tunnel syndrome

8. Name a famous car comedian?
Chevy Chase

9. What do baby cars play with?
Engine blocks

10-12*. Confusious say man who walk in front of car is wheely tired. He who walk behind car is exhausted and he who stands in the middle of the road is run down.

13. What do you get if you spill hamburger on your turning mechanism?
A steer-ing wheel

14. What is the favorite type of magic of autos?
Car Tricks

15. What is the motto of cars?
Car pe dium

16. Who runs General Motors D&D gaming sessions?
The GM

17. Alternative dfinition: Carpool
A fixture you install in your car that lets you know you have too much money

18. After a very wealthy religious leader accidently ran over one of his congregation they voted to change the Bible. It now reads "Thou shall not Corvette thy neighbor."

19. What is the favorite aven species among cars?
A hummer bird

20. How would you classify that last joke?
Its a real Hummer Dinger

21. How do cars build things?
With a Hummer and Nails

22. How do cars diet?
By controlling their Porcsh-ian sizes

23. How do cars cross a lake?
They take the ferrarri

24. What do cars tell their young to get them to go to sleep?
Ferrarri tails

25. What do UFOs and BMWs have in common?
They are both beamers

26. Why are cars good at second semester calculus?
They can prove that something goes to INFINITY by the Alternator series test

27.* There are over 3,000 nuts in a car, which one is the most dangerous?
The one behind the wheel

28. What do cars put on bread?
A traffic jam

29. What is an ancient French walled city of automobiles?
Car-casonne

30. Who were the rulers of European cars. Hint, They followed the Marovingians?
The Car-olingians

31. What type of battteries do cars use?
Diesel

32-39. Really Bad Car Movies:
Transmission Impossible
The Radiator: Judgment Day
Indiana Jones and the Radiators of the Lost Arc
Jurassic Parallel Parked
Pirates of the Car-ibbean
Mazda and Car-mander
The RV

40. What do you call a dalmation able to park a car?
A parking spot

41. Where are most car races held?
The dashboard

42. What do gas flowers and cars have in common?
They both have gas petals

43. Where do cars go to have fun?
The Car-nival

44. What is a car's favorite food?
Car-ne Asada--They are after all Car-nivores

45. What do Ford hot rods like to put on their hotdogs?
A touch of yellow mustang

46. How are cars like elephants?
They both have trunks

47. Why is a slippery wheel like an controlling mother?
They are both over bearing

48. What is a D&D cleric's favorite part of a car?
The turning signal (Not to be confused with the rebuking signal, that's slightly rude.)

49. How is having something in your eye like a direction indicator?
They are both blinkers

50. What is a cave that an automobile can fit inside?
A Car-st

51. Which model of car by Dodge is the wealthiest?
The Intrepidneur

52. Why do environmentally friendly car owners like trilobites?
They are prius storic

53. What do diet concious cars drink?
Red or green Lite

54. What do you call radioactive traffic?
Stop and Glow

55. What do you call a traffic jam of plants?
Stop and Grow

56. Why are the freeways filled with needles and bongs?
Because their is a lot of drug traffic

59. Why is a car dealer always right?
Because they are ACURAte

60. So I totaled my brand new Swedish automobile.
Its a real SAAB story

61. So is your belly button an inni or an AUDI?

62. What type of car do they drive in the Middle East?
A S-AUDI

63. What is the favorite Shakespearean play for cars?
Alpha Romeo and Alpha Juliet

64. If you mix an off road vehicle and a bird what does it say?
Jeep Jeep

65. There is a horror movie about off road vehicles--Jeepers creepers

66. What else do cars play with?
LINCOLN logs

67. How do cars solve exponential problems?
With LINCOLN logs

68. What is the name of a car's pet dog?
Land Rover

69. How do cars workout?
By doing deep leg Benz

70. What do you call a car that absorbs its nutrients from its surroundings?
A SAABrophyte

71. If they had the Daytona 500 for physics geeks what would it be?
MASScar

72. If they had it for calculus nerds?
MATHcar

73. Alternative definition: Mechanic
Lemon aide

74. If you were to somehow get a car from the DNA of Astin Kucher and Ricky Martin, what would it be?
An Astin Martin

75. What is a large weasle like car?
An Aston Martin

76. What is a alcoholic drink served at car parties?
an Astin Matini

77. What do car shows and nuclear powerplants have in common?
They both have hot rods

78. What is the favorite song of COBRA owners?
Shelby comin round the mountain

79. What do you call a really poor car?
A studebeggar

80. Where do cars get bread from?
A studebaker

81. What do you call a car in college?
A student baker

82. Another alternative definition: Shock absorber
The person who has just touched metal after walking down a shag carpet hallway in socks.

83. Tailpipe
See cigarette

84. What feat does a D&D car rouge automatically have?
Dodge

85. if you combined the authors Roald Dhal and James Joyce, would you get a Rolls-Royce

86. What is the favorite bread of cars?
Sour dough Rolls-Royce

87. What is another way of approximating a car?
With a Maclaren expansion

88. What car do you get if you cross Back to the Future with Lord of the Rings?
De LothLorean

89. Why did the car company go bankrupt?
It was nickled and Daimler-ed to death

90. The bond minicar


This thing has three wheels a motorcycle engine and no reverse. Amazingly it was somewhat popular and was re released not once but for times!

91. To find scout appropriate motorcycles you should turn to BSA motors. (They were the largest manufacture of motorcycles from the 1891 into the period after WWII. they are now defunct.

92. United Arab Emerates is now making both cars and cup cakes .
They are calling themselves Litt-al Dhabi

93. What is the significant other of a car?
Its hubby cap

94. What do baby cars play with?
An Auto mobile

95. What do you call it when a car does origami?
A manifold

96. Wha t is a german car chemical?
Mercedez Benzenes

97. Who is a serial car killer?
Jeffry Daimler

98. What do cartists (car artists) paint on?
Edsels

99. Which car invented the lightbulb?
Thomas Alva Edselson

100. What do you call a mobile pig?
Trans-pork-tation

101. Alternative definition: (N. ) of infinite length can be straight or curved. Having no endpoints.
See also DMV

[incidently a line is a unit of lenght equal to 1/40th of an inch and is used to measure bottons . it is also 1/12 of an inch.]

boom's blog

boom's blog

Yoga Fu--Funny!

http://koutuk.blogspot.com/2006/10/kungfu-vs-yoga.html

Hilarious and novel too

And so it begins

A

And there you have it. My official posting for this the first day of November. It has begun. I have official been sucked deep into the madness of forced updates daily for the sole fact of saying I did it. Great. Whoopi. My homework is SOOOO going to tank this month, but I cannot deny the wills of master Yoda. Incidently if he is found roaming through Vienna, is he an Austria Yoda-ler? Uh,Sorry for that, but my header warned that there was a risk of such puns leaping out and destroying your precious brain cells. You have entered at your own peril. To prove my point, did you know I collect cards, I have Chewbacca's wookie card. I rest my case. ... Til tomorrow.

Same day different Shirt

So last year I won fifty bucks for designing the Weber Botany club t-shirt. So I decided to try again only this time with the WSU Micro tshirts. Now that I have a blog I decided to post them enjoy!

Ah sweet hypnotism..

http://library.thinkquest.org/26242/full/progs/clock.html

So much fun to watch!

Now That's a Knife....

Yes, Its a real knife! And it can be yours for Only 799$ and you can own your very own hip bruising cooles multi tool ever invented. Macguiver eat your heart out.

Features 85 tools in a single knife:

1. 2.5” 60% Serrated locking blade
2. Nail file, nail cleaner
3. Corkscrew
4. Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
5. Removable screwdriver bit adapter
6. 2.5” Blade for Official World Scout Knife
7. Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers with wire cutter
8. Removable screwdriver bit holder
9. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
10. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
11. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
12. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
13. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6 mm x 4.0 mm
14. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0 mm x 6.5 mm
15. Magnetized recessed bit holder
16. Double-cut wood saw with ruler (inch & cm)
17. Bike chain rivet setter, removable 5m allen wrench, screwdriver for slotted and Phillips head screws
18. Removable tool for adjusting bike spokes, 10m hexagonal key for nuts
19. Removable 4mm curved allen wrench with Phillips head screwdriver
20. Removable 10mm hexagonal key
21. Patented locking Phillips head screwdriver
22. Universal wrench
23. Laser pointer with 300 ft. range
24. 1.65” Clip point utility blade
25. Metal saw, metal file
26. 4 mm allen wrench
27. 2.5” blade
28. Fine metal file with precision screwdriver
29. Double-cut wood saw
30. Cupped cigar cutter with double-honed edges
31. 12/20-Gauge choke tube tool
32. Watch caseback opening tool
33. Snap shackle
34. Telescopic pointer
35. Compass, straight edge, ruler (in./cm)
36. Mineral crystal magnifier with precision screwdriver
37. 2.4” Springless scissors with serrated, self-sharpening design
38. Shortix key
39. Flashlight
40. Fish scaler, hook disgorger, line guide
41. Micro tool holder
42. Micro tool adapter
43. Micro scraper-straight
44. Reamer
45. Fine fork for watch spring bars
46. Pin punch 1.2 mm
47. Pin punch .8 mm
48. Round needle file
49. Removable tool holder with expandable receptacle
50. Removable tool holder
51. Multi-purpose screwdriver
52. Flat Phillips head screwdriver
53. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
54. Spring loaded, locking flat nose nose-pliers with wire cutter
55. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
56. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
57. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
58. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5 mm x 3.5 mm
59. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6 mm x 4.0 mm
60. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0 mm x 6.5 mm
61. Can opener
62. Phillips head screwdriver
63. 2.5” Clip point blade
64. Golf club face cleaner
65. 2.4” Round tip blade
66. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, can opener
67. Golf shoe spike wrench
68. Golf divot repair tool
69. Micro straight-curved
70. Special tool holder
71. Phillips head screwdriver 1.5mm
72. Screwdriver 1.2 mm
73. Screwdriver .8 mm
74. Mineral crystal magnifier, fork for watch spring bars, small ruler
75. Removable screwdriver bit holder
76. Magnetized recessed bit holder
77. Tire tread gauge
78. Reamer/awl
79. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, wire stripper
80. Special Key
81. Toothpick
82. Tweezers
83. Adapter
84. Key ring
85. Second key ring

Poetic Ramblings

Another Day in Geography

Here I sit,
Quietly in geography.
And what do I hear,
Barely above the cacophony,
The teacher assigns--
It's a dreaded awful task he has given us.
My mind oozes and fills with pus.
I would rather break a bone--
Or even be sent home.
The thing he as asked--
Is for us to write a poem.
It's a fate I feared the mosta.
Not just any ole poem,
But one in !Xhosa.

ENGLISH IS DUM

English is dum.
Speaking makes me want to suck my thum.
O how I long to go--
Please send me hom to my beloved chatteaux.

And for a change an actually somewhat serious posting...

Boots & Hat

Boots and Hat are near and dear to a man.
They'll carry you, and protect you just as long as they can.
If my Boots and Hat could speak,
They'd tell you how they long for those far off mountain peaks.
My Boots and Hat would say:
Everything they'd done that day.
These Boots, this Hat, they've seen far off lands. They've seen the sea--
This Hat, these Boots, and me.
These Boots, they never let time pass by.
Life's just too short. This Hat knows, it's seen a man die.

These Boots, they had two older brothers.
Well they served and far they hiked. Where they went there were few others.
Two dear old friends, broken down and longing rest;
Just how long and far they traveled is anyone's guess.
They had their stumbles and their falls.
Those brave soles almost saw a man not make it at all.

My Hat too had a friend.
That Old Hat walked trails where many met their end.
That Hat saw stars above; and the trees below.
This Hat trod upon ground now sacred and Hallow'd

Carry your Boots with peace; hold your Hat up high.
Live! And don't let life pass you by.

Hayden's Peak

The Alternative Dictionary Letter B

More Alternative definitions (The bold words are real words look them up if
you want, they are too weird to be fiction)

1. Chakra and Aura
President Bush's plan for invading Iraq

Babaurhum A batter cake raised with Yeast and saturated with rum

2. Babel
A word from on high

Babu or Baboo Hindu title for sir

3. Baby
A cry at nights sleep

4. Byzantine
Rome in the fall

5. Bach
    1.Opposite of fronth
     2. To return --take Bach

6. Bacchus
a real Roman Winer

7. Bachelor
A really bad pioneering guy.  One who can't tie the knot or get hitched.

8. Bactrian Camel
One who got over the hump

9. Back bite
Where the mosquito got you

10. Backstroke
How you relieve said mosquito bite

11. Backward
The small LDS group located near the frontward

12. Virus
Its just a phage

13. Badger
See Boy Scouts

14. Baffin Island
A real cool place

15. Baghdad
A city sized crater in Iraq

16. Belch
The Air force

17. Bail
       1.What you make in prison
        2. When in a boat and this happens see also wet suit

18. Bait
What gets you hooked on fishing

19. Baked Alaska
See Global Warming

20. Baker's Bread
One who feels kneaded

Baksheesh A tip or gratuity in Egypt

21. Baking powder
See Meth Lab

22. Vasco Nunez de Balboa
A Pacifist

23. Baleen
Ya got something in your teeth

24. Ball and socket joint
What will be made of Titanium in 50 years

25. Ballerina
A woman who is always on her toes

26. Ballista
Something worth a shot

27. Ballast
How to balance your checkbook

28. Hot air balloon
See high rise

29. Ballot
A slow love song

30. Balm
What we did to Baghdad

Balneology The science of bathing

31. Baloney
A meat you get fed from the feds

32. Baltic
A Sea average

33. Baltimore Oriole
A team member not likely to win the pennant

34. Bamboo
a growth spurt (bamboo is the fastest growing land plant)

35. Banana
One twisted fruit

35. Temperate
See Three year olds

36. Bandit
something that leaves you wondering whats the hold up

37. Band Saw
a musical group based on a recent horror movie

38. Band Wagon
A group with a large following

39. Bang
!

40. Banyan
An American hero of foklore

41. Banjo
    1. Strum thing to do
     2. A man who speaks with a twang

42. Bank
Something going through withdrawls

43. Banner
The system at Weber State that is always crashing [for those of you who
don't ge to school here Banner is the name of the computer system and it is
always crashing]

44 Barb
Something leaving you wondering what's the catch?

45. Banquet
Food that is in your face!

46. Baptism
If done by a basketball player, its a slam dunk

47. Barbados
A cleanup on Isle 5

48. The MTC
Tie-land

49. Banister
Is rail

50. Barbarism
A catch phrase or ism used by a cutter of hair

51. Barbell
Something for when you need a lift

52. Barbwire
Snag time

53. Barcelona
A city with some Spaining to do

54. Bard
What guys shave in the morning

55. Barium
What an undertaker does

56. Barnstorm
The scene from the movie TWISTER, if you've seen the movie you know the
scene I am talking about

57. Barrage
Its waht Bwrings us here towether twoday

Barranca A steep deep hole in Southwestern US

Barratry A crime meaning misuse of office

58. Barren
One who rules over a parcel of land

59. Barrier
See undertaker

60. Bartok
The things you say when you have had a little too muck to drink

61. Baseball
A dangerous game chemists play involving spheres of --OH ions

62. Bashful
Full of Bash See Barbarian

63. Basement
Flood zone

64. Base line
The riff played by the guy with the large upright stringed instrument

65. Basil
The country who will probably win this years world cup

The jester being walled up inside a cathedral asked if he was trying to be
made a nave of.

66.  Basket
Something to reed

67. Los Angeles Basketball
A lot of HoopLA

Basque A tight fitting womens tunic

68. Battering Ram
A sheep charged with spousal abuse

Basta Enough!

69. Bathing Cap
Slang for the skipper of a ship while cleansing him/herself

70. Battery
An adjective used to describe undercooked pancakes

71. Battle Royal
A war between the Hapsbergs

72. Bawd
The oppocite of good

73. Beading
What will continue until the moral improves

74. Beagle
Goes well with cream cheese

75. Beak
What you will be getting a bill for

76. Bean Caper
The Stealing of a pea

77. Bear Skinned
        1. The latest in fashion
         2. The rug in a hunting lodge

78. Beard
A time shaver

79. Beast of Burden
Kids carrying school backpacks

80. Beat
What I can't keep

81. Beattitude
The grade little Jimmy received for always talking back but doing it nicely

82. Bebop
The flattening of stinging insects

83. Because
The answer to the question Why

84. Bedaub
George Bush's brother Billy's nickname

85. Bed Molding
What happens to your sheets if you don't dry them

86. Bedridden
He wants to remove his sleeping pad and thus be bed ridden

87. Bedtime story
A real sleeper

88. Water Bed
Bed wetting

89. Beehives
[Beehive--Beeholder--beholder>spectator>specked tater-->Rotten potato]
     1. Places where you can get the latest buzz
     2. What a bee gets after wandering into poison Ivy

Beetle also means an overhang

90. Befog
A bee with gas

91. Befoul
What happens when your cross an insect with a chicken

92. Begone
The chemicals used to get rid of befouls and behives

93. Before
What an insect yells while playing golf

94. Befriend
What makes bebes

95. Begun
How you shoot bees

96. Behemoth
A flying insect related to the behebutterfly

97. behoove
What you get if you cross a cow and a black and yellow flying insect

98. Beige
A COMPLETELY different color than tan, camel, brown or any of the other
brown like colors

99. Toll Road
A road lined with bells

100. Firetruck
Toll Truck

Bellona The wife of Mars Goddess of war

101. Bell hop
A dance just for bells

2B continued....

How To ADD (Vol. A)

The Alternative Dictionary by John Boom

Many of you know what words mean. Here now is a list of what words "really" mean. I present to the world the first installment of the Alternative Definition Dictionary

1. The Spice Girls

Broadband

2. Smoker

Hacker

3. The Big Apple

Big Mac

4. Stumped

Log on

5. UnStumped

Log Off

6. Stamp collection

Cut and paste

7. The PTA

A motherboard

8. Gamer

1. A play boy
2. player

9. Well Toned and really Buff

One is what you do to a printer the other is what you do to a floor

10. Minimize

What Mickey does while they are at home

11. Copy machine

The right click button on a mouse

12. Paper Jam

Similar to Pearl Jam but without the edge

13. Bra

A fallout shelter

14. A

The grade one will never get out of the cranky professors class

15. Aardvark

One whose vark is vorse than its vite

Ab The eleventh month of the Jewish calendar

16. Abacus

Any obscenities found in the song “Dancing Queen”

17. Abate

What you catch afish with

18. Abbr.

1. A word whose life was cut short

2. A word that needs Miracle Gro.

19. Abduct

See Gastrointestinal tract

Abinitio from the beginning

20. Abnormal

Potgut

21. Abominable Snowman

Your neighbor’s winter construction that is a mere 2 feet taller than yours.

22. About ship

Tacky

23. Abrade

Liposuction (ab raid)

24. Plains of Abraham

Where we looked for weapons of mass destruction

25. Abridge
1. How you cross ariver
2. see “Southern Statistics—Mean”

26. Abscess

The term for when elementary school breaks were taken away

27. Abscise

The opposite of exercise

28. Absence

The kinesthetic awareness of having a potgut

29. Absentee Ballot

Votes that don’t really count

30. A.W.O.L.

A really bad internet provider

31. Absinth

What the school secretary, the one with a lisp, marked you as

32. Perfect pitch

The one that won the World Series

33. Absolute Value

The name of a local five and dime

34. Absolute zero

The grade you got in said professors class

35. Absolve

A cleaning fluid for stomachs

36. Abstain

What Absolve cleans

Abstemious eating and drinking in moderation, along with facetious, is a word that has all of the vowels in their proper order.

37. Abstinence

Sex Ed

38. Abstraction

1. Having rubber grip on your stomach

2. A person named Abs when she breaks her thigh

39. Abstruse

The opposite of Dr. Seuss

40. Abundance
1. See also the “Roll Waltz”
2. A film festival held in Southern Utah

41. Abutment

The act of sitting on gum

42. Abysmal

How you did in said professors class

43. Acacia

A tree that gets right to the point

44. School

A 16-year sentence w/o parole

45. Academy Awards

Praising people for not being themselves

46. Acaroid

A famous actor (actually a genus of mite)

47. Accelerate

Something you have to force yourself to do

48. Accelerometer

Something you were forced to measure

49. Accent
1. Bless you!
2. A sign of stress
3. What occasionally happens around children

50. Acceptance

Usually preceded by an award

51. Accident Prone

Getting hit while lying down

52. Accolade

Similar to lemonade, but made with accos

53. Acid Fast

What hard rockers do on the first Sunday of every month.

54. Acupressure

Dealing with pressing demands

55. Adagio

When things are going slow

Adamite one who goes naked in imitation of Adam, such as was the practice of some early religious sects

56. Adder

Math snake

57. Addis Ababa

An Arabic shoe company

58. Bureaucrat

Red tape dispenser

59. Adroit

C-3PO

60. Adolescent

Preoccupied

Adscititious supplemental, added from an external source

61. Aerate

To make holey

62. Atmosphere

An airy subject

63. Aesop

A fabled story teller

64. Affinity

A six year old’s largest number, often coupled with suffices --plus one or --billion

64. Afflict

The fly landed on me and afflict it

65. Aftermath

The happiest times in most people’s college careers

66. Career

The end of the help wanted subscriptions

67. Afternoon

Morning

68. After taste

Greasy fast food

69. Old age

Mortal coil shuffling

70. Agonic

A definition with no bearing

71. Valentine

Heart felt

Ahimsa the doctrine that all life is one and sacred resulting in the principle of nonviolence toward all

72. Aileron

Making decisions on the wing

73. Akimbo

Side arms

74. Air hose

pump and circumstance

75. Non-working air ship

Incorigible

76. Air strip

A ghost’s burlesque house

77. Air taxi

The only thing you are likely to catch in New York

78. Ala carte

How people shop

79. Alarm Clock
1. A slumber slaughterer
2. An annoying ring tone

80. Fable

A story where allegory details have been omitted

81. Aligator
1. An open and closed case
2. A snap judgment

Random joke from beyond:

What do you call Halloween in the Roy Rodgers Museum?

Trigger treating

82. Allover

A book by Charles Dickens—Allover Twist

Alopecia baldness

83. Alphabet

The fist bid of the night in Las Vegas

Amaranthine Unfading/ undying

84. Ambiance

Why your food cost 25$ instead of 3

Ambivert one who is both introverted and extroverted

85. Amateur farmer

Not a pro-tractor

86. Ambidextrous

A guy you gotta hand it to

87. Ammunition makers

Round people

88. Amoral

A type of eel

89. Anachronism

Right place, wrong time

90. Anagram

A managr

91. Analog

See fossil

92. Apostrophe

A sign that you got owned

93. Amitosis

When ya just gotta split

94. Sailing

1. Anchor management

2. A breeze to learn

95. The Vatican

A city state

96. Angler Fish

A deep thinker

97. Angelic

What your two year old is not

98. Animate

A lively discussion

99. Anneal
1. A temper tantrum
2. A really tall basketball player

100. Ante

Your mother’s sister

Apocope to shorten the last letters of a word

Apteryx a kiwi

Arrack strong oriental drink made from rice molasses and coconut milk

Arraign To call into account. To question

101 .Arrack and Arraign

Two countries in the middle East President Bush believes to have weapons of mass destruction.

Bonus definition:

102. Assemble

No directions included

I am A Knock-ternal Creature

101 KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

So the inspiration for this batch of awful came from that old scout
camp song stay on the sunny side of life.  This song involves quite a
few knock knock jokes and the camp was getting bored with the same old
repetoir so I decided i would come up with 101 new ones for them.
Most of these are terrible a few are worse and some are funny though
all are clean.

1. Knock knock
Who's there?
Atilla
Atilla Who?
Atilla Later

2. Knock knock
Who's there?
Harvey
Harvey Who?
Harvey up and oven the door I gotta go

3. Knock knock
Who's there?
Jazz
Jazz who
Jazz open the door

4. Knock knock
Who's there?
Irene
Irene who?
Irene waiting all day for you to oven the door

5. ...
Warren
Warren who?
Warren you like to know

6...
Nora
Nora who?
Nora Idea

7....
Edgar
Edgar who
Edgar you open up or else

8. ...
Nichole
Nichole who?
I'll give ya a shiny new Nichole if ya open up

9. ...
Ima
Ima who?
Ima comin in so ya'd better open up

10. ...
Morris
...
And Morris on the way

11. ..
Bird
Bird who?
Get some new material, I've bird all these before

12. ...
Ma
...
Ma name is forest

13. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Anger
Anger who?
No its pronounced Kangeroo

14. Knock knock
Who's there?
Pa
Pa who?
Patato that's who

15. ...
Boo
Boo Who
Aw don't cry about it

16. ...
Who
Who Who
he's an owl

17. ...
Whoo
Whoo Who
Over zealous sports fan

18. ...
Em
Em Who
Cow lover

19. ...
Cann
Cann who
Yes I can canoe?

20. ..
Hitch
Hitch who
Gesundite

21. ...
Ach
Ach who
Knock knock
Who's there
Bless
Bless Who

22. Knock knock
Who's there?
Thank
Thank who
You're welcom

23. ...
Inca
...
Incagnito that's who

24. ...
Ivy
Ivy who
Ivy wainting here all day for you to open the door

25. Knock knock
Who's there?
Worm
Worm who?
Its cold and I want to be worm

26. ...
Tooth hurty
Tooth hurty who
Naw its only three seventeen not two thirty two

27. ..
tooth
...
But I swear I'm telling the tooth

28. ...
Gwain
...
But ain't you gwain to let me in?

29. ...
Elza
Elza who?
Edgar you let me in or Elza

30. Knock knock
Who's there?
Hat's
Hat's who?
Hat's all folks

31. Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alf
Alf who?
Alf fooled you hats not all

32. ...
ya
ya who
YaHOOOO!

33. ...
Wally
Wally Who
Wally atchee Dooly Doo

34. ...
Walt
Walt who
Walt ya be my neighbor

35. ...
Wilt
Wilt who
Wilt ya please let me in?

36. ...
Bella
Bella who?
For whom the Bella tolls, its tolls for thee

37. ...
Gabon
Gabon who?
Gabon Let me in!

38. ...
Zed
Zed who?
Just zed me in.

39. ...
Panther
Panther who?
Panther no panths I'm goin thwimin

40. ...
Thor
...
Pleathe won't thomone open the thor?

41....
Natalya
Natalya who?
Ya'd better open the door cause I'll Natalya

42. ...
I. Samba
I. Samba who
I.Samba goin ta open tha door or what?

43. ...
George
?
Doot doot doot GEORGE ! (charge)

44. ...
Aspen
Aspen who?
Let me Aspen it to you one more time

45. ...
Solome
Solome who?
I knocked, solome in

46. ...
Alice
Alice who?
Alistened to you, know you listen to me.

47. ...
Horace
Horace Who?
My voice is getting a little Horace

48. ...
Billy
Billy Who?
Billy Ford Tough

49. ...
Robby
Robby who?
Give me all your money its a Robby

50. Tick
Tick who?
Tick em up, its a tongue tied wobber

51. Wallace
Wallace who?
I told ya its a Robby give me all ya wallace

52. Carolyn
Carolyn who?
For Christmas we can go a carolyn

53. Willy
Willy who?
Willy please open the door, I asked nicely.

54. Egbert
Egbert who?
I cooked breakfast, but my egbert

55. Lenny
...
I lenny him money, but he never returned it

56. Knock knock
Who's there?
Zeus
Zeus who?
Ma blue  zwade zeus

57. Hera
...
I need a comb for my Hera


58. Demeter
De electrician came to read demeter

59. Perseus
I tried to return something, but  needed proof of perseus

60. Trellis
You WILL trellis your name and where they are hiding!

61. Jose
Jose can you see

62. Yanni
I worked all night I have every right to be yanni

63. Matt
I am so Matt at you, you didn't open the door

64. Knock knock
Who's there
Doris
Doris who?
I knocked because the doris closed

65. Zack
Ya wanna play hacky zack?

66. Camp
Camp who?
Camp with any new knock knock jokes yet?

67. Neredeth
Man, last week I had a neredeth experience

68. Colton
Colton who
Eli Whitney, that's who, he invented the colton gin

69. Bobby
Bobby who
Ya wanna fo Bobby for apples?

70. Bess
Its bess if you open the door

71. Santa
I couldn't get to sleep without the help of the santa man

72. hair spray
Hair spray who?
hair spray, gone tomorrow

73. Paul
Paul who?
I Paul down, go Boom!

74. Adam Ant
Adam Ant who?
I am adam ant that you open this door right now!

75. Flora
If ya ain't got no beds I'll sleep on the flora

76. haiti
Be friends and Stop the Haiti

77. Donna
Donna who?
Can somethin be donna bout these jokes?

78. Jaques
Jaques who?
Jaques in the boques

79.Box Brando
Box Brando who?
Box Brando-berg concerto its a really good song

80.Knock Knock
Who's there
...
...
...
...
Door bell ditcher


81. Brian
I gotta go, for breakfast I had a brian muffan

82. Knock Knock
Who's there
Mario
Mario who?
Go Go Mario, Mario and Luigi. Fight for Right ! Fix the pipe!  set the
Princess Free!...

83. Phil
Phil Who?
I phil your pain

84. Wilde
Wilde who?
Wilde you were sleeping I found another way in

85. Martha
Martha who?
On your martha, get setha goa

86. Marris
Marris who?
Marris is what bwrings us hwere twogethwer twoday

87. Knock knock
Who's there?
Sally
Sally who?
These knock knock jokes are given me a headache, I need some sallycyclic acid

88. Erin
Erin who?
Can you do me a favor and run me an erin

89. Knock knock
Who's there?
Luke Mark Mattew John
Luke Mark My words I will Mattew John the darkside

90. Erep
Erep who?
'Ere Potter

91. Blonde
???
Wear camouflage Blonde in

92. Blonde
Blonde who?
James Blonde

93. Knock knock
Who's there?
Blonde
blonde who?
Go home where you blonde

94. air
air who?
is air anybody home?

95. Darleen Dunce
Darleen dunce who?
Darleen Dunce with me

96. Knock knock
Who's there?
Mash
Mash who?
Mash hysteria, that's who

97. Tally
Tally who
Tally Whoo!

98. Knock knock
Who's there?
Oprah
Oprah who?
Oprah up its the police

99. Nose
Nose who?
Olny the Shadow Nose

100. Wells
Wells who?
Alls wells that ends wells

101. Lola
My jokes have reached a new LOLa

For the Birds

The Avians are invading! Incidently if any one needs back ground on this I 1. did my Eagle Scout project for a local aviary and 2. Was the nature director at the camp I worked at.

101 Bird jokes

1. How much did the warbler pay for the item?
Not much he got it cheap cheap, for a song in fact

2. What do you call it when a seagull flies over an enclosed body of water=
?
A bay gull

3. Who did the the seagull marry?
The Gull of his dreams

4. What is a favorite book among the charadriiforms?
Gull-ivers Travels

5. Why was the tern dupped so easily?
It was Gull-able

6. What do birds compete in?
Tern-aments

7. What do you call a selfish podipediform?
Grebey (Greedy)

8. Which bird was locked away in an insane assylum?
A Loon

9. What did the bird die of?
A heron overdose

10. What is the motto of a bird?
Beak there done that

11. Why are geese so knowledgeable?
They have all the ansers

12. Which bird is popular amoung the oil industry?
The Petrel-eums

13. Where do charadriiformes go to get an education?
Skua

14. What is a popular dance amoung ciconiiformes?
The flamingo

15. What do you call a hot phoenicopterus?
A Flame-ingo

16. What is a popular game involving getting rows and colums of
phoenicpters?
Flam-ingo its like bingo but for the birds

17. What do you call an inbred bunch of Albatross?
Mixed Medea

18. What is a famous Greek play about an albatross killing her young?
Dio-Medea

19. What do you call an avian electronic circuit component?
A Diode-medea

20. Why is it dificult to keep secrets in the Antarctic?
There are too many Prion eyes

21. What does an antarctic ornithologist read?
An Adelie paper (Daily paper)

22. What do you call a gracious penguin?
Humbolt

23. When a penguin plays checkers does he get a king??

24. Larry Bird Played basketball. I have his rookery card.

25What type of carpeting does an arctic/antarctic ornithologist have?
Shag carpet

26. The Gannet was Looking Sulan.

27. What is one problem ornithologists face?
Taking took much for gannet

28. Who was a famous Turkish Gannet?
Sula-mon the Magnificent

29. Which bird is a famous rock star?
Mic Jaeger

30. Where can you find coastal charadriiformes?
In Gull-f

31. Did you see the Gullp?
Whats a gull-p
Its like a swallow but bigger

32. What do you call a fast moving cat in water?
A Kitty-wake

33. How do you keep tract of arctic circumnavigating birds at an amusement
park?
Whith a Tern-stile

34. What does a dungeons and dragons bird cleric do well?
Tern undead

35. Why was the Gygis alba being bad?
It was Noddy

36. Which bird is a famous behavioralist?
B.F. Skimmer

37. What do you plug a bird into?
A power Auklet

38. What do you call two bird organic chemistry molecules?
ParaKeetones

39. What is a chicken's favorite Shakespearean play to act out?
Omlet

40. What killed a large number of birds during the French revolution?
The Guillemotine

41. Which bird are you likely to find painted on walls?
A Murre-al

42. Which bird has a national forest in California?
The Murre Woods

43. What do you call an avian stalker?
A secret ad-murre-er

44. What is the most common occupation of a Uria aalge?
A Murre-chant

45. What does an ornithologist call a cell phone charge?
A razorbill

46. Which blood sucking count did the Puffin go as for Halloween?
Count Fratercula

47. Why is fratercula corniculata an out of shape bird?
Because They're always huffin and Puffin.

48. What is a ornithologists favorite movie?
Puffin the magic dragon

49. Why is the three little pigs an ornithologists favorite movie?
Because the Big bad wolf threatens to Huffin and Puffin and blow the house
down

50. Which part of a bird was a president?
Howard Tuft

51. Why are loons so talkative?
They have the gift of gavia (Gab)

52. Where does a gaviiform get its clothes?
They are all handmade on a loon

53. What do you call a latex gaviiform?
A Bal-loon

54. Who was a famous bird photographer during the civil war?
Horace Grebely

55. How does a podipediformes complain?
By airing his/her grebences

56. What do you call a random assortment of birds?
A Grebe Bag 9grab Bag)

57. Why does an Anseriforme like the number 2?
Because it is swan plus swan

58. What do you call a yukon Gay Bar?
A Canada Goose (Sorry!)

59. What do you call it if you cannot choose a particular family of duck?
An Eider or Situation

60. What is a fun nursery rhyme dealing with anseriforms on a rainy day?
The Itsy Bitsy Eider

61. What is a favorite drink among Somaterias?
Apple Ci-eider

62. Melanitta Perspicillata is the scientific name for the Surf Scoter. If
this duck is found in Canada would it be a Nova Scoter?

63. How do ornithologist get around?
On a scoter (scooter)

64. What is a popular James Bond Film based on a duck species?
Goldeneye

65. Which bird "wrote" Princess Bride?
Stanly Merganser

66. Which Duck sailed around the world?
Drake

67. Which duck discovered the Titanic?
Robert Mallard

68. Where do birds shop?
At the General Stork

69. Which firey letter of the alphabet is really a bird?
The flaming "O"

70. What childhood game do greater flamingos play?
Cops and rubers

71. What is a classic flamingo comeback?
I ruber your glue ...

72. Why is wonder woman a bird?
Because she is a Heron (Heroine)

73. From whom do birds rent cars?
Avis

74. Who were the favorite avian characters on Sesame Street?
Bird and Ernie

75. Why are features of bird bill so well versed in mythology?
They know their lores

76. Which part of a bird is in the Bible?
Saul of tarsus

77. Why is on the wing a synonym for running from the law?
Because he doesn't want to be behind bars (wing bars)

78. How does a bird eat?
With a knifula and furkula

79. What does a passiform take camping?
Everything but the kitchen syrinx

80. Where does a bird go if it needs counciling?
To Syrinx

81. If you put a bird in the dryer on extra hot what happens?
It syrinx

81. In ancient Egypt there is the statue of the great syrinx.

82. What type of song bird is always jerking back?
The flinch or possibly the Jamaican Jerk Chicken

83. What is a midevil scholar's favorite bird?
A Knightengale

84. Which bird is also a storm?
A nightin-gale

85. Where do birds put their cars?
In Larking spots

86. What does a rope using bird do?
Whipporwill (Whips well)

87. Which bird can take down a tree?
A sparrow

88. Which member of the Struthioniformes is crenulated?
The Castlewary

89. Which struthioniform is a form of insurance agent?
A Actuary

90. What do you call medievil surf birds?
The Pheasants

91. What do you call a curmudgeonly rallidae?
An Old Coot

92. What do you call a sharpshooting rostratulid?
A Snipe-r

93. What is the luckiest bird?
The four leaf plover

Auks and skua are two diferent types of birds yet they have the same name
backwards.

94. What happend to the tall chucker?
It hit a grouse spurt

96. Why can't population biologist predict the number of tetronidae?
Because it will always be a grouse underestimate

97. Where do tropical ornithologists go for cheap Mexican food?
Turaco Bell

99. What happens if you cross a canary with a fan?
You get shredded tweet

100. What was a movie made by Mel Gibson about Biblical Song birds?
The Passerine of Christ

101. How does a bird remove a nut?
With wrens (Wrench)

Bonus Joke:
102 What do you call a point just touching once on a bird?
tanager (tangent)

Anatomy Jokes, The final cut

101 Anatomy Jokes

1. why did the person fail the cadaver lab?
She just couldn't cut it

2. Why isanatomy so hard?
Because the professor is really sternum

3. Who is this book written for?
Forramin

4. Why are tails so mean?
they just need to be caudaled

5.Why is the spinal column so audacious?
Because he's got nerve

6. Why is the eye like the moon?
They're both in orbit

7.Which part of the human anatomy is president of the galaxy?
Xiphoid Beeblebrox

8.Which part of your anatomy was a the king of rock and roll?
Pelvis Presely

9.I never metatausal I didn't like

10.What are the epic poems about the pelvic region
The Illiac and the oddysey

11.If you cut someone's lower back are you then a lumbar jack?

12. What are these jokes not?
They are not humerus

13.What squaking gland of the digestive tract does long john silver
have on his shoulder?
The parot-id gland

14. In What do you entomb a mummy's throat?
Its sar-esophagus

15.What do you find on tacky tourist anatomy t shirts?
Spleen there got the Tshirt

16.Why must you never loose you fatty fold near you intestines?
Because of the law of conservation of omentum

17. What punctuation mark can be found in the body?
The colon

18.What did the anatomist do to his cars?
rectum

19.What part of the digestive tract was named after a famous
psychologist of the 1800s?
Sigmoid freud

20 Did you know there is an old James Bond movie named after a part of the body?
Liver let die

21.If you see a organ flying overhead what is it?
A gull bladder

22. How do you climb a body?
With a step bladder

23.Who did the colon-ol marry?
His beloved Gal-bladder

24 Name a lymphoid movie star?
Charlie Spleen

25.How do muscles go up and down?
In levators

26. Where do skeletal muscles dispose of their solid wastes?
In levatories

27.What is the main act in an anatomical circus?
The man on the flying trapezius

28.What do you call someone mining minerals on someones chest?
A pros-pectoralis

29.name an old black and white holywood horror film named after a
muscle near the arm?
Nos-serratus (nosferatus was a vampire movie)

30.Which muscle will freshen your breathe?
The altoids

31. What muscle can be found in mississippi/
The mississippi river deltoid

32. What do you call an enemy's police force?
The oponens Pollicis

33.The oponens Pollicis?
Is the anatomy from Poland?

34.How do you hold muscles together?
With super gluteus

35.What muscle will solve profound mathematical equations?
A Riemann Tensor

36.If an anatomist is kidnapped by aliens what does he/she say?
I was adductored by aliens

37. Why is anatomy so hard?
Because its subject matter is so vastus

38.What muscle was a leader of Argentina in the 1940s?
Evita Peroneus

39.How do you confort a grieving muscle?
give them soleus(solace)

40.What do you call something made up by a muscle?
A hallucis-nation

41.What do anatomists store fluids in?
A jugular trunk

42.Michael Crighton wrote a book about dinosaurs in an anatomy lab,
what was it called?
Thorasic park

43.Name a movie about anatomy starring Whoopi Goldberg?
Cistern act

44.What is a lymphatic exclaimation of intelligence?
Inguinious (ingenious)

45.What gland is responsible for hocking luggies?
The spituitary

46.Parsley, sage, rosemary , and thymus

47.Why was the endocrine student so upset?
He failed a teste

48.How did the doctor diagnose the comatose patient?
It was a no brainer

49.What is the favorite music structure of an anatomist?
Anything with Spinal chords

50.What is the unholy nerve?
The one that is sacral-igious to speak of

51.What nerve is the favorite nerve among the forelorn?
The sigh-atic

52.Which arteries have gender?
The male and femoral arteries

53.Why was the boy nerve attracted to the girl nerve?
Because of her cutaneous

54. Why was the nerve always upset?
Its just surally (surly)

55. Why can you never undestand neural art?
Its just sural (surreal)

56. What was the knight of the nerves known as?
Sural

57.What nerve sell peanuts?
Plantars

58.Where will you find a vegetable in your body?
In your carrot id artery

59.Where will you find a chirping insect inside your body?
In the cricoid artery

60. Was was anatomy called in world war II?
The battle of the axilla and allies

61. What many armed monster attacked tokyo?
Axilla

62. Axilla questions you want I'll answer em

63. What do you call a back up arm?
Axillary

64. Name another anatomical herb/
Basilic

65. What animal if you look it directly in the eye will turn you to stone?
A Basilic (basilisk)

66. Which artery is a famous golfer?
arnold Palmar

67.Where can you go spelunking in a human?
In the vena cava (spelunking is also known as caving)

68.What flower is popular with anatomists?
The illialac

69. How do anatomers measure circles?
With radiuses

70. What do computer programers have in common with anatomists?
The both process

71. What call in basketball is the favorite of an anatomist?
Goal tendon

72. Why does it hurt to touch your back bone?
It is a spine

73. What do musical anatomists play?
Notochords

74.What is a punk rock bad liked by anatomists?
Lymph biskit

75. What do you call weak vessels?
Lymp nodes

76. Does an anatomist walk with a lymph??

77. Does an anatomical tourist see all the cyts??

78. What game do anatomists paly?
Hyoid and go seek

79. Where can an anatomist go to get some Chinese food?
The Asiatic nerve

80. What creature stalks the night terrorising young anatomists with its calls?
The Spine-owl chord

81. How do you put a hole in a nerve?
With a spin-awl chord

82. Why couldn't the anatomist shoot the egg?
He ran out of amnion

83. How do anatomists light up the night?
With am-neon lights

84. Why are there arms and legs in the brain?
It is part of the LIMBic system

85. Why is there a sheep in your hippocampus?
It is part of the LAMBic system

86. Why are these jokes so awful?
They are about the limb-ICK system

87. How does an anatomist write?
With a limBIC

88.What is a Russian anatomical jet?
The a-MIG-dala

89. Who is the anatomical queen of Naboo?
Queen Amygdala

90. Where are smelling cells made?
In the Olfactory bulb

91. What is a mythological anatomical bird that is reborn from fire
when it dies?
The fornix

92. What is anatomists favorite musical instrument?
The organ

93. What anatomical feature runs rampant through the Himalayas?
The abdominal snow man

94. What does an anatomist do with a popsicle?
He/she finds the O-lick-ranon process

95. What are there so many shards in an anatomy lab?
Because anatomist tend to brachius stuff

96. Who is the favorite talk show host of an anatomist?
Larynx King

97. Who is an anatomists favorite boxer?
Larynx Lewis

98. What does an anatomist give you when she is mad?
A scowl-ple

99. What is an anatomists favorite basketball team?
The New York Larynx

100. What do you call an anatomical kitten?
A Cat-daver

101. Why are these jokes like a body if you don't put it in formaldehyde?
They are both rotten.

101 Zoology Jokes

101 Zoology Jokes

1. What replaced the tape worm?
The CD worm

2.How is Michael Jackson like a clam?
Both are child molluscers

3.What uncuttable particle was with eve?
The atom

4.What is the favored means of comunication among biologists?
A cell phone

5.What do you call a desert roaming humped tongue spitting lizard?
A camel-eon

6.What do you call a vegetable with a nucleus and one without?
A eucarrot and a procarrot

7. What ship did the author of the "Origin of cream cheese" and "The
Descent of Spread" sail to the galapagos on?
The HMS Bagle

8. how do objects far from the body like their water?
Distled

9.What do you call a change in frequencies of devils over time?
Evil-lution

10.What do Natural Selection and a power converter have in common?
Both involve adaption

11.What biological concepts can you see on signs along roads?
adapt a highway

12.What clothes do biologists wear?
Genes

13.What geneticist was a pickle?
Gregor Men-dill

14.How do you get fat cattle?
Give them steeroids

15.Why souldn't you mess with lizards?
Because You'll be saur-y

16.What do metabolisms show off their achievements in?
A trophy case

17.You know I never metabolism I didn't like.

18. Why could a chemist no longer fit into his clothes?
They were reduced

19.Why should you never believe the energy unit of a cell when it says its sick?
Because they are know mitochondriacs

20.When a studier of kidneys makes a shot in basketball what does he exclaim?
Nothing but neph

21.What did Mozart compose for someone's stomach?
An organ concerto

22.What are the lyrics to a song sung by The Biologist Jimmy Stewart?
"supposes Mitosis smells like roses"

23.When a cell get hurt where does it go?
to the ER

24. Where di life go after it started in shallow seas?
Onto deeper philosophical matters

25.Why was the cytoskeleton protein so good in the theater?
It had experience with actin

26.What movie can be found outside the cristae of a mitochondrion?
The Matrix

27.How long does a biologist work?
9 to 2

28.What is the Maryland Biologist Baseball team known as?
The Baltimore Centrioles

29.What do you call a small villian inside your intestines?
A microvili

30.Why is the opposite of pinocytosis like a hollywood movie?
Both are ex-cyting

31.What do Native American biologists sleep in?
ATPs

32. How do biologists blow their noses?
With ATP

33.Why is keeping track of the cytoskeletal fibers during mitosis so hard?
It is a pain in the aster

34. How do scientist whiten hirudinea?
They use b-leech

35. Why do people not like to classify earthworms?
Its too annelidical

36.What do cellular biologists eat dinner on?
A metaphase plate

37.What do biologists do on wall street?
Buy and Cell

38.How do you destroy a puddy tat?
With a Cat-abolic reaction

39.Lysis--They have special shampoos for that

40.How do you speed up a reaction involving a cow?
Use a cattle-lyst

41.Why do mathematicians like enzymes?
Because they usually involve co-factors

42.What do lyou call predestination for organic energy?
Phos-fate

44. How do biologists say the 13th-16th letters of the alphabet?
Amino p (M-N-O-P)

45.What part of the day do elementary school biologists like most?
Recessive

46.What part of a gene spilled in the PrinceWilliam Sound?
The Exon Valdez

47.Why did the student fail his history of pre evolution test?
He missed Lamark

48.What do you call a dinosaur in a burrow?
Fossorial

49.Why did the evolutionary biologist take his work to the English department?
He needed help with his punctuated equilibrium

50.On a windy day in the winter what piled up in front of the
geneticist's house?
Genetic drift

51.Several hundred millian years ago what did you call a sharpie?
A permian marker

52.What is the oldest island in the Mediterranean?
The Crete-acious

53.What do you call a monoecius calculus fiend?
Her-math-rodite

54. What do you call the union of a sheep and a Ram?
A zygoat

55.What did the biologist go as for Halloween?
Count Gastrula

56.Why was the jelly labeled a smart alec?
Too many cnide remarks

57. Are ancestral reptiles different from modern mammals?
In theri

58.What do you call a dental mystery?
A who dont

59.What do you call a bird like inner membrane?
A parrot-toneum

60.What were the two biological world powers in the 1940s?
The axons and the allies.

61.Why was the spinal cord so bold?
It had a lot of nerve

62.How do you categorize drosophilia?
By its fly-logeny

63. What is the smartest part of a cell?
its mem-brain

64.What was the premature brain mugged by?
A street gang-lia

65.Why did the chimp have such a terrible head ache?
He was hit on the head with a pan

66.What do you call biological jokes?
silly-a

67.How do biologists get their energy?
Binary Fission

68.How do biologists make things things smoothe?
WIth a file-um

69. What do you call a radiata formula?
A polypnomial

70.What do you call a snail after eating beans?
A gas-tropod

71.What herb do biologists cook with?
A basal metabolism

72.Why was the brain so ancy?
It is a nervous system

73.What rock band do biologists listen to?
The rolling stomes

74.What do you call a picasso painting of a jelly fish?
A cubozoism

75.Who are the followers of the Castro Jelly fish?
The cubozoans

76.Where can you find a cloud in an acoelomate?
In its cirrus

77. What class is related to the lollipop?
The hirudinea, they have anterior and posterior suckers

78.What watch brand is worn by cestoda?
Scolex (rolex)

79.What is the part of a throat related to tape worm?
The e-proglottis

80.Why are round worms so hard to detect?
Because they trichy

81.What country singer is popular with fish?
Vince Gill

82.Why are eagles often found in church?
They are birds of pray

83.How is an earthworm similar to a farmer?
they both have crops

84.How do arthropods get by in life?
By the seta of their pants

85.What part of the anatomy helped relieve New Orleans?
Femur86. Which Swedish 1700s taxonomist consumed large quanties of citrus?
Carolus Limeaus

87. Do biologists still have to pay state and federal Taxons??

88.Why was the marine biologist arrested?
He was Cod red handed and it wasn't a red hering

89.Does hair replacement work for Garibaldies??

90.What did the Marine biologist hang on his wall for the holidays?
A Christmas Reef

91. Why was the botanist so depressed?
He slept on a cot

92. What is the most brittle group of organisms?
The dino-fragile-ates

93. What group of organisms stage the most demonstrations?
The Protesta

94. Which organelle gets in the most fights?
The Rival-some

95. Why are splinter CELLS so dangerous?
They might have nuclear weapons

96. Which polyplacophoran wrote Jurassic park?
Michael Chiton

97. Which group of organisms is best at math?
The Algae bra (good with the ladies too)

98. Which group of organisms will keep coming back to you?
The echo-dermata

99. What was a popular movie about a lost round worm and his father?
Finding Nemotoda

100. How do biologists smooth things over?
With a fine grit phylla

101.If you don't like these here's what I have to say to you-- Zoo what