101 2007 Steiner Staff Puns
Happy 77th year Steiner. As always I am dreadfully sorry if any of these offend, I promise it is not my intent.
1. The best part about camping is that it is intents (intense)!
2. If the week before scouts arrive were held for long necked mammals would it be Giraffe week?
3. If Robert gets a pet insect, would it be an adamant?
4. If Mr. Adams took from a bank would he have Rob-bed it?
5. Why is Darth Pike such a good archer?
Because he is an excellent Bohman
6. What do you call puns that keep returning?
7. What do you call it when I worked at shotgun?
A Big Boom
8. Why do I get to tell papers outlining what goes on what to do?
Because I am the Program Director
9. If this were instead a Russian work camp, what would I be?
The Progoram Director
10. What is Mrs. Bullough's favorite skit?
The Kingie, the Queenie, and the Katie
11. What small furry rodent is where Mike is from?
12. What small furry mammal lives in the trading post?
13. If Kayla were the line used to create a hyperbola what would she be?
The handicraft directrix
14. IF Kayla could have her way, if she died would she be buried in a grave-y?
15. If Mike sat down would there be peas on Earth?
16. If Braden played poker would he be a card dealer?
17. If he played with potatoes would he be Peeler?
18. If Mr. Degraw sold womens apparel would he be a drag dealer? (sorry Braden :)
19. What is Mr. Eastman's favorite pinneped?
The bearded seal
20. If Jeremy disappeared, what would it be?
An ordinary week. But he might be called a Roo-dini
21. What do you call a soup made from Jeremys?
22. If Jeremy went into the cleaning business what would it be?
A Roo-to Rooter
23. What do you call a pure silver wombat?
24. What is Mr. Evensen's favorite book?
24. If Arthur impersonated Elvis would he still be the King?
25. If Arthur becomes senior staff will he get to carry a walkie Talkachin
26. Since he works a lot down in archery, what should his leadership course really be known as?
27. What is Erin's favorite Wyoming town?
Evensen (Sorry Erin)
28. Why does Erin like the night?
She likes star parties, and because she is Knock-ternal
29. What are her favorite jokes?
Knock Knock Jokes
30. What would you get if you mixed an archer with a gun?
You would Knock and Load
31. What would Tiny be teaching if he burned down the camp?
32. Where do counselors in training live?
In the big CIT (City)
33. If Spencer hits someone with the bolt of a gun, what is it?
A disciplinary action
34. Why does Angie do Bobo?
She finds it apeeling
35. What doe she use to clean it up?
36. If either Cat or Reid got punched, would the Halls be decked?
37. What do you get if you cross a cow with a Cat?
38. What do you get if you teach Soil and Water with a metal disk?
Soil and Water Gong-servation
39. What is the person who teaches Soil and Water's favorite musical variety show?
40. What is a Cat's favorite skit?
The Kinglin, the Queenlin, and the Caitlin
41. Is a sleeping Caitlin Cat-atonic?
42. If Mr. Hall's son doesn't eat will he be a Nathin?
43. Who is the tallest staff member?
44. If Everett made a mess would it be a SPL (Spill)?
45. If William Cullins Byrant WROTE about a mini Hall would it be Nathanatosis?
46. How did our SPL live?
47. Why does Brian look so happy?
Because he always has a blast
48. If he writes a book, what will it be?
The Book of James
49. If Chief Rocket Foot writes a book what will it be?
The book of Daniel
50. Where does Brian sit in a car?
51. If water came out fo shooting sports ear protection what would this be?
Wednesday, but it might be called Ear-igation
52. How do you protect the square root of negative one?
With i protection
53. How do you keep bottles of alcohol safe?
With beer protection
54. Why is a shotgun range like the ocean?
They both have shells
55. How do you see fishing instructors?
With a 100 Wyatt light bulb
56. If Mr. Koeven wore a pin-stripped suit, what would it be?
A zoot suit Wyatt
57. What is Mr. Koeven's favorite color?
Pure Wyatt (white)
58. If Daniel Lewis were a cook would he be chef rocket feet?
59. Who is the bravest staff member?
Mr. Lewis, he is both brave and Darren
60. If the cooks wanted to hang someone what would they be?
A lunch mob
61. If our head cook goes to Paul's Peak at 5:15am is it a LaDawn hike?
62. What scares the cooks?
63. If a movie were made about camp would LaDawn's be the movie trailer?
64. Who protects camp?
The KP-ed Crusader
65. Who is the whitest guy on staff?
The one with the most Lustyer
66. Why didn't he find that joke funny?
Because he's Ben there done that
67. If I keep making jokes about amphibians will I be sued for Salamander (slander)
68. Where do I get jokes about potty humor?
From the John
69. What is the best part about being program director?
70. What is a book written by Garth Nix about E. Prep?
71. Who on staff has a parade named after them/
72. If Mrs. Massey were immersed in salt would she be Sa-brine-a
73. If she like pain is she a Sabrina Masey-cist?
74. If Mr. McCrae were on woodbadge, which patrol would he be in?
The Al Patrol
75. If Al goes to McDonald's does he order aMcCraeFish sandwich
76. If Amy were unconscious would she be a head Coma-issioner?
77. If Amy were a pirate would she be a Comission-AAARH!!!
78. IF Scott makes a comission he gets a percentage of ascent
79. The walkie talkies accidently got baked into breakfast. They are now HAM radios.
80. If Jeremy and the Orienteering guy merged they would be an AND ROO
81. What do you call orienteering doodles?
82. What does Mrs. Nielson wear on her feet?
83. What is her least favorite candy?
The Jilly Bean
84. What is Mrs. Nielson most afraid of in the water?
Electric Jills (eels)
85. If Mr. Padia talks back is it a Tex return?
86. IF he gets arrested is he put into a Padia wagon?
87. How does Tex keep his stuff safe?
With a Padia lock
88. Are codes from Daniel a Tex messages?
89. Are Sabrina's back rubs a Tex massage?
90. Whose name do Pentecostal Steiner staffers shout?
91. Is the Pope Catholic?
As a matter of fact, No!
92. What should pioneering really be called?
93. What do you call people who incessantly take pictures of Taylor?
94. What is Taylor's favorite pizza topping?
95. What does Taylor drive?
96. If the waterfront direct were a pirate would he be J ARRGH!?
97. How much can JR's wife hold?
As much as she can Carrie
98. What does Alisha drive?
99. What is Beaker's favorite Monte Python line?
What is your Quist?
100. What is his favorite drink?
101. What is Mr. Quist's favorite book?
Beaker for the Dead
102. What is Fabio's favorite TV show?
103. What is Roger's Son's favorite place to camp (other than Steiner of course)?
104. What does Zach invest in?
105. What is Wes's favorite fish?
106. What happens if he is fired?
He will have his head on a pike
107. What is the tallest peak in Germanada?
108. If Spencer and Amanda ran the place would they be Tegen over?
109. If Pineapple had a twin would they be the Warner Brothers? (sorry)
110. IF pineapple taught geology would he deal with weathering?
111. What mug are we?
112. Why are we so cool?
Because Steiner Rocks. All 150 billion of them. (But according to one scoutmaster there are too many rocks at Steiner.)