Thursday, January 18, 2007

Books Never Read

101 Books No One Will Read

1.The Phone Book

2. A Ban on Dihydrogen Monoxide Contaiminated with Hydroxic Acid
By Clair and Floe Ing

3. Atomic Physics
By Moe Lee Qule

4. A Tome on Modern Zoology
Itzal ive

5. Bacteria
by Mike Robe

6. How to Play the Guitar
By I.Stromwell

7. Falluvian Geology
By Sandy Banks

8. Black Lung: The Saga of Coal Miner's Disease
By Neman O., Ultram Icro, Scott Pick, Sally Coval, Conan Osis

9. The Latest in Style
By Posh Fasha Nista

10. Bankrupcy
By Owen Cash

11. Instant Messaging
By Ema Aile

12. How to Cook
By Jeffs Special

13. A Book of Southern Lawyers
Sue Yawl

14. A Lengthy Discourse in Lecture Pedagodgy
By Borris Yatosleep

15. The History of Shortening
By Chris Ko

16. Dwarfism
By Nan Ism

17. Nebulae: Where Stars are Born
By Stella Nursurie

18. Winning Marathons
By Ron Udoun

19. Sugarless Coffee
By Joe Black

20. Do It Yourself Colonoscopies Made Easy

21, The Cicada: What Really happened in those 17 years

22. Ticked Off: A Manual of Analog Clock Maintainence

23. Guide to Dust Mite Ecology

24. Things to See and Do in Antarctica

25. Bureaucracy for Dummies: A Guide to Bipartisan Obfuscation

26. How to Read

27. Las Vegas Water Management Strategies: How to Live Conservitively

28. Confessions Of a Wooden Boy's Psychotherapist: Pinocchio Lied on the Couch

29. Pinocchio Returns: Nightmare of an

30. The Long and Short of it: A History of Giraffes and Pigmy Shrews

31. 101 Ways to Market Your Soul

32. Long Awaited Sprouting: A Documentary of Lawn Growth

33. Effective Methods For Optimal Viewing of Paint Drying

34. The Exciting History of Zimbabwe's Space Program

35. Apocalypto: A Guide to Conversational Mayan

36. An Anthology of Chord Changes in Punk Rock Music

37. How to Clean Up after Your Mutt

38. The Gym Floor: A Systematic Labratory Analysis

39. The ASCII Binary Translation of War And Peace

40. An Exploration of Sawdust

41. Things You Can Poke with Sticks

42. A Collection of Prepositions Found in the Works of Doctor Seuss

43. Triple Negatives Not Not Never Found in Literature

44. A Liturgical Analysis of Cook Books

45. The Grammar of Cooking

46. Stupeed

47. The Censored History of US Postage Stamps

48. Michael Jackson's Guide to Child Care

49. Multivariable Roman Numeral Calculus

50. The Idiots Guide for Dummies

51. Conversations With a Crocodile

52. Bush's Presidential Picture Book

53. 101 Things That Cannot Be Done With Duct Tape

54. How to Keep Scorpions as Pets

55. The Grammar of Time Travel: I Will Had Done Something...

56. What to Do When Your Mother-In-Law is Really Your Sister

57. Letter By Letter: The Epic Saga of Joe Blow's Complete DNA Sequence ACTC....

58. The Catalog of What I found Under My Bed

59. The Sales Catalog for Submarine Screen Doors

60. Build Your Own Helicopter Ejection Seat

61. Manufacturing Specs for the Waterproof Towel

62. The Life of a Deodorant Tester

63. Baring your Scholl: If Arch Supports Could Talk

64. Thoughts from Paris Hilton

65. Things That Rhyme With Orange

66. A Photo Album Of Female Mustaschios

67. Finding out Your Father was Really Mother

68. Bar Codes and What You Can do With Them

69. 101 Uses for Deodorant Caps

70. The Saga Horse Bathing

71. Fighter Piloting for Dummies

72. The Idiots Guide to Harvard, MIT and Yale

73. 101 Fun Ways to Practice Tax Evasion

74. The History of Paper Clips

75. Composting With Cobwebs

76. Tuesdays With Jeffrey Dahmer

77. Drug Free Jamaicans

78. Sands of the Sahara: A Guide to the Sand of the Sahara

79. Middle Eastern Tourism for Americans

80. A Full Mathematical Treatise of Quantum Mechanics for Two Year Olds

81. The Maralyn Manson Guide to Raising Kids

82. Things that are Really Truly Honestly Totally Free

83. Exciting Prophecies found in US Tax Forms

84. The School's Keyboard and Where it Has Been

85. Now You Know Where it Has Been: The History of Things and Whats on Them

86. The history of World's Smallest telescope

87. John Cage's Lyrics to 4:33

88. Conversations With a Phone Book

89. Ways to save Money With 1-900 Numbers

90. The Ugaritic Translation of Tolstoy's Complete Works

91. The Things Our Government Tells

92. Chicken Plucking for Kids

93. Heart Warming Stories Felons Being Asked to Join Night Watch Groups

94. 101 Pranks You Can Play on the Mob

95. 101 of the Best Recipies for Cooking Your Friends

96. Car Alarms and their Uses

97. The Blue Whale Diet

98. 101 Uses for Pond Scum

99. The Secret Social Lives of Physics Majors

100. World's Tastiest ABC Bubble Gum and Where it Came From

And Finally...

101. Poo-Poo Head And Meany Pants: The Deeper Meaning of Elementary School Taunts

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