Thursday, March 08, 2007

Things NO ONE will Listen to...

1. Albums of Math book sing-a-longs

2. The Phone book on tape.

3. Static, white noise and other classic hits.

4. Talk Show the musical complete with Sing Alongs.

5. Phone Book the musical.

6. Dissonance: The Sound of the unresolved chords

7. So You Think You Can Play Violin. The Musical where the cast presents random people off the street with a Stratovarious Violin and sees if they can create beautiful music.

8. Stirring lectures on the History of Banana Slug Colonization.

9. Models of Tree Sloth Acceleration.

10. How to write books for Dummies for Dummies

11. A recording of a three year old with Laryngitis counting threads in your shirt.

12. The Scrape: A musical composition based on the best of fingernail and blackboard enthusiasts.

13. The Poking Your Eyeball Sonata

14. Colonoscopies the soundtrack

15. Tapes made the night your child was concieved

16. Listening to a stutterer reading the Oxford Dictionary.

17. Alvin and the Chipmonks Post Puberty CD with new extend Bass riffs from Theodor

18. Computer sounds: A new age symphony composed entirely using the internet modem connection noise.

19. Busy Signal the Encore.

20. Space Chords: an epic saga

21. 1930s Early Cowbow Music Remixed.

22. Nagging the four part Opera

23. 101 Variations on John Cage's 4:33

24. The Jackhammer Express

25. Uncensored Conversations With a Sailor.

26. Enumeration of the Desert Sands: The Cantata

27. A list of all of the Insults used by WowBagger The Infinitely Prolonged.

28. A soundtrack of all of the best computer voices on the corporate world and their favorite sayings.

29. Marvin the Robots Self help book.

30. The all theramin Orchestra.


Ki said...

You'll pardon my rage, but I wrote "Nagging" the four part opera, and I have to say, the women seem involved-- it's only the men who don't like it.

Uncultured swine.

Boom said...

I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listening.

And as for uncultured, I took a microbiology class, I have plenty of culture.

Is "Nagging" also on LULU, 'cause I got the first book you wrote?