Thursday, December 21, 2006

If Statisticians ruled the world

If statisticians world the world it would be a very different place...

And do you John, fail to reject your null hypothesis of Marsha?
With a P-value of less tha 0.05 I Do fail to reject Marsha
And you, Marsha? Based on the available data on this man what is your conclusion?
With a 95% certainty I too fail to reject this man.

College Acceptance letters:

Dear Mr. Boom,

We regret to inform you that we have failed to reject your application.

Game shows:

Is that your final answer?
I fail to reject C +/- 2 letters with 99% confidence

Online Legal Notices:
Click here to fail to reject our terms

Courts of Law:
How do you plead?
+/- Not Guilty, where my null hypothesis is H0: T=0, where t is time spent in prison. My alternative hypothesis is H1: T >0 I will choose alpha to be 100% and walk away a free man because alpha is never 1.
Members of the jury report your findings.
We the members of the jury conclude that there is no significant difference between the hypothesis of the prosecution and the hypothesis of the defense therefore we fail to reject the null hypothesis that we even cared.

Clinical studies have shown that in 9 out of 10 cases our product has significantly improved the lifespan of its users by plus or minus 76 years! And it fails to reject the claim of whitening teeth too! Order now for three easy payments of a lot plus or minus some, We reject the claim of bein available in Canada.

School Administrations:
In a sample of size 1 it was found that your son's GPA with a 95% certainty is a 2.0 +/- 2.0. We regret to inform you that we must therefore reject and fail to reject the hypothesis that your son has made the valley view Honor roll.

You owe $X.YZ dollars. Given a 12 month sample of size U find a 95% confidence interval given a total error of 3.00 or less, solve for X Y and Z

Now Jimmy, here's how you tie your shoes within one standard deviation.
Young man, I want with a 99% certainty the sample Y-X to = 0 where Y is the Number of vegtables served at time zero and X is the number of vegtables consumed at time final. Find P(x
Jimmy, Sally, and Joh-- There is no significant difference in my love for each of you. I love equally all 2.4 of you

Hey Mom, can I watch channel 07 +/- 02

I am on page 135 +/- 0.01

Phone Books:

555-1123 +/- 1
somewhere within the interval bounded by 10th West and 10th East and 10th South and 10th North, Somewhere within the United States with a 95% certainty.

Clothing Stores:
Ma'm do you have a size small +/- and XL?
I have a 48 +/- 12 inch waist, and a 13 +/- 2 shoe size.

Its a good thing only lawyers run our society and not statisticians.

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