Gone Fitching

Far away
we were wisked that day.
The citadel of luck's land
Was an adventure long he had planned.
In a room were we,
surrounded by levers three.
"Pull them all,
take a fall.
From under you the floor drops,
Gasp for breath and your heart stops.
Pull one
have some fun
Pull two
You won't know what to do.
Pull them in the wrong order
and You will face an undead beholder.
Pull them right,
and you will still fight.
But, with new found friends
you will meet your ends."
So we pulled one
to see what was done.
Oh No alas, we Blue it,
ah, but fear not for it was but a friendly druid.
A druid with wolf in tow,
followed him everywhere he would go.
Our blades were ready they were set,
but it turned out to be one Dewey had already met.
Before we pulled the next thing,
Dewey and Herr Druidy gosiped in that mechanical hall.
Reminded of the time when last they met, the druid smacked face first into a wall.
A fersome and ferrousious beast they fought.
Their ends he sought.
The wolf slipped and slid.
The druid would have been better if he had hid.
First the wolf fell flat,
Then Druid Drogon tripped an thudded with a splat.
If that weren't bad enough a third landed upon them after all that.
They laughed and guffawed,
They chuckled, they hemmed and they hawed.
And when their fine memories began to grow dull,
they gave the lever one more pull.
Who or what was it in front of me,
A roughish band I did see.
Beastly Orks,
Armed and bristling with pitchforks.
But alas they were far to few,
Dewey, the ranger, druid, dorf, gnome and me, we pitched them all without much ado.
Pulled it again,
saw the world spin.
Again and again,
each time the room did spin.
But when all was told,
Our numbers now grew 2 or three fold.
Now amid our midsts
We boasted, ranger, druid, gnome, dwarf and sorceress.
Dewey and me.
And a sheep in wolf's cloth.
The furred terror, wouldn't hurt a moth.
Now that our fellowship was complete,
We had a demigogues fun house to beat.
Now we did not all get along together so well,
For some of us it was an adventure, and for some it was ... Just swell.
I don't know why they were mad at me, I am confused as to what exactly I did do?
All in the name of fun I held true.
While they were attentively listening arounds,
I cast a cantrip--Ghost sounds.
I was greatly amused,
But their looks said their egos were bruised.
So to make amends,
I used my cloak to good ends.
On the other side of the dook I did want to peak,
So opened it and went in I did sneak.
When I stepped inside,
I'm glad I had my cloak, for I wanted to hide.
Their was a pit in my tummy,
for what did I behold, none other than a TROOP of mummy.
So I snuk back out,
And we plotted our next bout.
We had a plan, it would work if we could do it just right.
Cover the mummies in Alchemist's fire, then with the help of a well placed fireball, We would make them feel light.
So again I opened the door,
donned the cloak and snuck along the floor.
When we had our positions just right,
we were now ready to fight.
Aft the juice I did pour,
Suzie the Silent, Greatest fire mage of lore,
Tossed she open the door,
WIth a well placed fireball, the mummies were no more.
A single hit,
That was it,
When once there were four
Mummies now no more.
Oh it was great pleasure,
to scratchlessly unearth such treasure.
But soon a box with riddle,
we now did fiddle.
A chest fitted with key,
Were it not for the lock
that did block,
That chest would have been too much for me.
But what was in side?
What was that strange thing we spied.
Not crafted of wood, stone or metal,
What we found was a bicycle pedal.
Surely this is out of place,
Amid the loot of the mummy race.
Of it we thought no more,
but finding its true purpose turned out to be quite the chore.
Ah but our strange journey is far from over,
Quite the contrary, it gets even bolder.
You'll have to tune in
for your jaw will be agape again.
Find out how, an eye socket makes a great holster,
and I'll tell you how the gnome got glued to the beholder.
But for of all this,
You'll just have to wait. For if I told you more, I would be remiss.
On the morrow, return to my story telling niche
and I will tell you more of the Rubiyitch of Jytan Fitch.