Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Puns et al

In reference to ...

101 hairy pottery puns (but because I have decreed that today should be a random day, they get weird later. Today's theme is puns that I have posted today.)

1. You should make with ceramics a ceramic donught. It could be a glazed donut.

2. Or a bat bat.

3. Is what you have made a skull-pture?

4. I must say, your halloween decorations have a certain flair about them.

5.That skull is hot, oooh burn!

6.You should make a ceramic weed, it would be pottery pot.

7. Beware he could kiln a man.

8. or you should make a ceramic barn--its the pottery barn.

9. I am sure you are fired up about your new project.

10. A toast to you.

11. You should put a ceramic cow out in a pasteur, let it out to glaze.

12. If you made an iceberg, would it be a glazier.

13. If it is a knight, is it sir-amic?

14. Now that you have passed ceramics are you potty trained?

15. Potty at your house, sorry for all the potty humor.

16. If they made a pottery spinning device made of herbs would it be a wheel of thyme?

17. If you made a ceramic futuristic gun is it a glazer beam?

18. If you don't want to make ceramics are you glazy?

And now for something completely different, just to bug you

19. Which insect best describes your relatives?
Your ants

20. What is the motto of the Bug scouts?
Bee Prepared

21. What is an insects mouth parts favorite horror movie character?
Mandible Lectre

22. What do you call a snowman mad by an insects body segments after their thorax?
The abdominal Snowman

23. Why don't people like beetles?
They bug people

24. How is our current Government like a curious two year old?
They both play with bugs (among other reasons)

25. What did the bee with a lisp say when someone stepped on his leg?
Hey, wasp where you steph

26. What was the permiscuous bug arrested for?
Insects

27. Who is an insects favorite king?
King Arthur-opod

28. What is an insects favorite car?
The VW Beetle

29. Which insect grows on the north side of trees?
Moth













30. This thing is a Giant Weta. Its about 8 inches long, heavier than a sparrow and it fulfills the same niche as a mouse. Its name is a shortening of the Maori Wetanga- God of Ugly things. Incidently Peter Jacksons workshop is the Weta Workshop. This thing is so ugly it makes me want to weta myself.

31. Do insect students have to turn in a term-ite paper?

32. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk

33. Why did the fly go into journalism?
To stay up on the latest buzz

34. What did the bug use to cut down a Norse Tree?
Its Thorax

35. Which insect will you find under Mistle toe?
A Madagascar Kissing cockroach

36. What comes out of insect volcanoes?
Hot Larva

Beware it changes again right here.

37. What is a Raman packets favorite hero?
Soup-erman

38. Why are most noodle packets Islamic?
They like to celebrate Raman-dan

39. What is the motto of a noodle pack?
When in Raman do as the Ramans

40. Why did Abraham have soup while in the desert?
Because God will provide the Raman

41. What uncooked soup did Moses eat while in the desert?
Ramana

42. Which soup do the Hindus worship?
Braman

43. Which soup god do the Egyptians worship?
RAman

44. What is imbibed heavily in the Carribbean?
Ruman

45. What type of soup eaters are cattle?
Ramanants

46. What is a famous Reggae song about soup?
Bob Marley's "We be Raman, You can be a Raman too."

47. Which dangerous yearly bovine festival is celebrated in Spain?
The Raman of the bulls

48. How did knights of the Middle Ages storm the soup castles?
With a battering raman

49. What is the favorite soup of a courtroom?
The soup de Jour

50. What city is the capital of soup?
Noodlei (New Delhi)

51. What do soups do for a hobby?
They pasta time

52. Wha tis a soup flavoring packets favorite movie?
MSG and commander

53. What happend to the noodle when he found himself on a deserted island?
He was Stranded

54. What do you say to raman that has done a job well?
Soup-erb

55. What is a soups officianado's favorite movie?
Raman (rain man)

56. What brand of soup do you get if you have a bone marrow transplant?
Marrowchan

57. What did the spectator say about the newly wed bowl of noodles?
Ah they make a cute cup o'

58. How do they fit so much flavor into the raman seasoning?
They packet

59. What is a child soups favorite dish?
Mac a raman and cheese

Random fact from Wikipedia:
Raman spectroscopy is a spectroscopic technique used in condensed matter physics and chemistry to study vibrational, rotational, and other low-frequency modes in a system.

60. So how do chemists know what something is made of?
They use Raman Spectroscopy

So for the above posts I have realized again that I have been misspelling one of my favorite soups. Sorry, corrections to come later, but for now, more cool facts from Wiki:

Ramen ラーメン or 拉麺 rāmen is a Japanese dish of noodles served in broth that originated in China. It tends to be served in a meat-based broth, and uses toppings such as sliced pork (チャーシュー chāshū), dried seaweed (海苔 nori), kamaboko, green onions, and even corn. Almost every locality or prefecture in Japan has its own variation of ramen, from the tonkotsu ramen of Kyūshū to the miso ramen of Hokkaidō.

62. What is a German hard rock enthusiast's favorite soup band?
Ramenstein

63. What is a famous old time movie about noodle soup?
Singing in the ramen

Still quoting Wiki
  • Shio ("salt") ramen soup is clear, almost transparent. It is probably the oldest of the four and, like the Chinese maotang (毛湯), is a simple chicken broth.
  • Tonkotsu ("pork bone") ramen is usually cloudy white. It is similar to the Chinese baitang (白湯) and is a thick broth made with crushed pork bones that have been boiled for hours. It is a specialty of Kyūshū and is often served with beni shoga (pickled ginger).
  • Shōyu ("soy sauce") ramen soup is made by adding a soy-based sauce to a clear stock usually made from chicken and various vegetables. It is popular in Honshū. A popular seasoning is black pepper.
  • Miso ramen is a relative newcomer, having reached national prominence around 1965. This uniquely Japanese ramen, which was developed in Hokkaidō, features a broth that combines chicken stock with a fermented soybean paste. It is often topped with sweetcorn and butter.

Sapporo, from the capital of Hokkaidō, is especially famous for its ramen. Most people in Japan associate Sapporo with its rich miso ramen which was invented there and which is ideal for Hokkaidō's harsh, snowy winters. Sapporo miso ramen is typically topped with sweetcorn, butter, beansprouts, finely chopped pork, and garlic, and sometimes local seafood such as scallop, squid, and crab.

Kitakata in northern Honshū is known for its rather thick, flat, curly noodles served in a pork-and-niboshi broth. The area within its former city boundaries has the highest per-capita number of ramen establishments. Ramen has such prominence in the region that locally, the word soba usually refers to ramen, and not to actual soba which is referred to as nihon soba ("Japanese soba").

What is known as Tokyo style ramen consists of slightly thin, curly noodles served in a soy-flavoured chicken broth. The broth typically has a touch of dashi, as old ramen establishments in Tokyo often originate from soba eateries. Standard toppings on top of chopped scallion, menma, and sliced pork are kamaboko, egg, nori, and spinach. Ikebukuro, Ogikubo and Ebisu are three areas in Tokyo known for their ramen.

Ie-kei (家系) ramen is from Yokohama and consists of thick, straight-ish noodles served in a soy-pork broth.

Hakata-men
Hakata-men

Hakata ramen originates from Hakata district of Fukuoka city. It has a rich, milky, pork-bone tonkotsu broth and rather thin, non-curly and resilient noodles. Often, distinctive toppings such as beni shoga (pickled ginger), sesame seeds, and picked greens are left on tables for customers to serve themselves. Ramen stalls in Hakata and Tenjin are well-known within Japan. Recent ramen trends have made Hakata ramen one of the most popular types of ramen in Japan, and these days several chain restaurants specializing in Hakata ramen can be found all over the country.

Again, avoiding copyright problems, that's from Wikipedia "ramen" accessed on 10/23/07 12:03

64. So are oriental soup clothings called Ramenents?

65. Is a naked noodle a Nude-le?

66. What was Roosevelt's famous anti depression soup campaign?
The Noodle (new deal)

67. Why are the Japanese salty ramens so flashy?
Its all for Shio

68. How much does pork bone Ramen weigh?
One Tonkotsu

69. What type of toy trucks are popular in Japan?
Tonka-tsu

70. How do you learn to make soy sauce soup?
I shoyu

71. Why is Hokkaido's famous national soups always served in pairs?
Because Miso-ry loves company

72. What comes out of the ramen trees?
Sapporo

73. When a Spianiard cries for help and wants some soup, does he Cry Sopporo Sopporo!
(Soccoro is Spanish for help)

74. What HBO mafia show is popular among Japanese soup gourmands?
The Sopporo-nos

75. If a Kitty cat were made into a Japanese soup would it be a Kitakata?

76. SO if you are playing magic the Gathering and someone plays the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Flash, Have they played Instant Noodles? (http://www.venganza.org/ It won't help, but it is funny.)

77. What is the favorite type of soup for athelets?
Sweet and sour

78. What does a ramen chef do to his car?
He soups it up.

79. Is the favorite type of chemistry of Guido d'Arezzo?
Organum Chemistry

80. What seaserpent appears randomly?
The randomness monster

81. Have you heard about Ayn's morphine dispenser that was put on random mode?
It is a Rand numb generator

82. What are these jokes getting to be?
Rand Dumb

83. Why will religion never be administered in shots?
Because then you will be taking the Lord's name in vein.

84. What is a cartoon elephants favorite movie?
Randumbo

85. What do chaotic infants suck?
Their randthumbs

86. If you aren't fast enough to be random can you still be jogdom?

87. If you fall apart while being random are you really rend dom?

http://www.random.org/

88. How do you get power from randomness?
Hook it up to a random generator

Don't look back the lemmings are gaining on you.

89. I don't want to work in a cubicle when I grow up, though I wouldn't mind a hypercubicle.

90. Singularities are NOT pointless

91. If lions make a mistake doe they erroar?

92. If you are sick can you cure it with a home ramendy?

93. Wedding rings, fields, and vectors

94. Alls weld that ends weld

95. H.G. Welds

96. Have you heard about the aquifers that contained mercury?
They are said to be authentic Hg Wells

97. That is just a real pain in the asprine

98. Moses spent 40 days on top of the mountain because God typed the stone tablets in Windows 1.0

99.



100. Why do geneticists like DNA to do math with? Because they can practice adenine and subtractenine

101. I am sane.

5 comments:

Ki said...

I think 101 is the funniest joke you've even told...

By the way, what is with the Speghetti God thing you've got in your sidebar?

Boom said...

Ah the FSM--Flying Spaghetti Monster and his pastafarian minions. For the full background go to:

http://www.venganza.org

If you want a brief rundown, it is actually a political statement. I believe in God, but I also believe in evolution. I don't think religion should be taught in the schools, I think parents and pastors should be the people teaching matters of a spiritual nature. I think having a law requiring teachers to preach religion in a classroom and to blatently ignore valid scientific findings is a very dangerous combination. And now for the point of this whole spiel, in Kansas they are requiring teachers who teach evolution to give equal time to the idea of creationism, However the flying spaghetti monster people are upset because they feel They aren't getting the equal time THEY deserve. Its all rather humorous I think. You should check it out, you might find it quite funny actually.

Darth Pike said...

Those hurt...so what are you going to sort these as? Assorted?

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