Sunday, November 26, 2006

Looking Down in the Mouth

101 Tongue in cheek jokes

1. What do you call sad food?
A tongue depressor

2. What is a tongue's favorite candy?

3. In which country does a tongue live?

4. What type of Tongue grows on rocks?

5. What is a favorite punk rock band of a tongue?
Lick-en park

6. Wha was a tongues favorite president?
George Washing-tongue

7. What is the bane of all who are tongue tied?
A tongue lashing

8. Which island nation is inside your mouth?

9. Which tongue host Jeopardy?
A-lick Trebeck

10. What is the smelliest tongue seasoning?

11. WHat do you call a phone call for your mouth?
A tongue ring

12. What are some lyrics to a Johhny Cash song dealing with tongues?
"Hauling 16 tongues every day and what do you get..."

13. Two mouth organs were in a race, who won?
No one they tongue tied

14. Who is a famous tongue actor?
A-lick Baldwin

15. What do you call a primate overt display of affection?
A monkey french

16. What metal is found in your mouth?

17. Which young Egyptian mouth's tomb was found in 1923 by a Mr. Carter?
King Tu-Tongue-khamin

18. Where does the first president of this countries mouth live?
Washingtongue DC

19. Which kitchen utensil is used to grab hot mouth parts?
A pair of tongues

20. What do you call a tornado in someone's mouth?
A tongue twister

21. If you wear neck adornments on your tongue what are you?
Tongue tied

22. What is a popular drink appropriate for the joke book?
Gin and Tongues

23. What is a toy truck found in someone's mouth?
A tongue-a truck

24. Who is a famous tongue singer?
Epiglottis Knight

25. What do you call a sci-fi mouth fan?
A star Trechea

26. What do you call a swallow in the Carribean?
The Gulp of mexico

27. Name another mouth actor?
Carl-Tongue Hes-Tongue

28./29. Which two cities have more tongues than any othes?
Kingstongue and Manhattongue

30. Who is a famous Jazz tonguer?
Duke Elling-tongue

31. What do you call dried bread you put in your mouth?
A cru-tongue

32. What does a tongue paint?
A mouth-terpiece

33. What does a mouth use to paint?
A palatte

34. What do you call the roof of a holy knight's mouth?
A palatte-in (paladin)

35. What dos a palatte sleep under?
The roof of your mouth

36. Which Star Wars character has a foul mouth?
Emperor Palatte-in

37. How do you lift really heavy mouths with a fork lift?
By using palattes

38. What do you call a kinesthetic excerise of the mouth?

39. How do you catch a tongue?
With a mouth-trap

40 If Mickey has to rescue Minnie, what is that called?
Mouse to mouse rescuscitation.

41. What type of insurance do most dentists have?

42. How do you tell how much teeth weigh?
By their Molar mass

43. What do you call a fruity dentist?
The tooth fairy (sorry)

44. What is a another name for an elderly assistant?
An in-dentured servant

45. What is the favorite party game of dentists?
Tooth or Consequences

46. What do you feed a baby dentist?
A dental formula

47. What is the favorire game of a dentist?

48. Why did the patient have the top of his mouth removed?
He had too much on his palatte.

49.What is the best part of being an orthodontist?
You always have a roof over your head.

50. What is the worst part of being a dentist?
You are always looking down in the mouth

51. Why can't an anethesiologist canount to three?
Because there is NO2

52. What is a denstist's favorite spice?

53. Whay is a retired dentist serrated?
Because he saw tooth

54. What does a dentist say when he/she makes a joke?
Just teething (teasing)

55.Why are dentists like royalty?
Because of all the crowns they deal with

56. What do you call a man-made water way connecting two teeth?
A root canal

57. What do you call a dental garden?
A ROOT canal

58. How did the dentist deal witht he insult?
He brushed it off.

59. If a densitst did'nt win what did he do?
He flossed.

60. How does a dentist hold his teeth together?
With toothpaste

61. Why didn't the dentist join the track team?
His mother told him never to run with incisors

62. How is lead different that a tooth doctor?
One is a dentist the other is the densist

63. Which tooth is the most popular on Valentines Day?
The Bi-Cupids

64. What type of shoes does a dentist wear around the house?
Loafer donts

65. What is the most common type of tooth among bakers?

66. What is the most popular type of tooth in Beverly Hills?

67. What typ of tooth/jaw attachement did Noah have?

68. Why do so few people study teeth?
Because it is a dont-ing task.

69. What is another favorite game among dentists?
Hide and go thecodont?

70. What is a game budding yound orthodontistsplayed?
Connect the donts

71. If something si not sinulodont, what is it?

72. What do you call advice from a dentist?
The dos and donts

73. Alternative definition: Dontopedology
They science of opening your mouth and sticking your foot in it

74. What is the motto of a lazy orthodontist?
Brace yourself

75. AD: Gingivitis
Gum eraser

76. Who is a dentist's favorite sleuth?
Peridontal Mason

77. After graduating from dental school what do you get?
A plaque to hang on your wall

78. AD: Dentureless
Chewing gums

79. AD: Behind bars
See braces

80. What does a toothbrush do when it sees someone it doesn't like?
It bristles

81. What guards a dental castle keeping away evil spirits?
A gargle (gargoyle)

82. What nationality are most teeth cleaners?

83. Who is the favorite pirate of a tooth cleaner?
Captain hook

84. How does a tooth cleaner make a living?
They just barely scrape by

85. AD: Oil driller
What a dentist would be if he/she were not in the dental field

86. After learning his one multiplication tables what did the young dentist move to?
His tooths

87. Who is the main character in the HitchHiker's guide to dentistry?
Arthur Dentist

88. Why is a tooth aligner always perpendicular?
Because he is orthogonal

89. Why was the orthodontics patient so mad at his doctor?
He felt he was maligned

90. What isa a dentists favorite quote from a midsummer night dream?
"Mine ears are much enameld to thy voice."

91. Why is dentistry such a hard subject?
Because of the enamle

92. How is a sledge hammer like a dentist?
They both like dentin things

93. Why did the tooth have to be removed?
To get at the root of the problem.

94. Why was the mob of dentist arrested?
For incising a riot

95. What does a dentist call a race of creatures on Star trek?
The Carnassials

96. What do you call a dog that has hade is two sharpest teeth removed?
The Canine Eunich

97. Where do dentist launch the space shuttle from?
Cape Carnassial

98. What do you call the tooth used for tearing in pinnipeds?
The Carnas-seal

99.If dentists were involved in the stock market what might they be called?
Incisor traders

100. What is a favorite dessert among dentists?
The bicustards

101. Who lost at the dental battle of little bighorn?
General Bicuspid

bonus joke: What is a dentist's favorite time?
Tooth hurty

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