101 Musical Puns
1. What is a famous musical Latin comedic tour of the afterlife?
2. What is a famous musical composition from the 80s?
Thank you much Mr. Rubato
3. How do musically inclined plants grow?
WIth the new and improved allegrow
4. What do you call a homeless musical instrument?
5. What is a threat made when musicians exchange Baroque records?
You scratch my bach and I'll scratch yours
6. What is a dreaded illness amoung musicians?
7. What do musicians never forget to take wit h them on a hike?
Their walking staff
8. How do you ring up music?
Use its bar codes
9. how do musicians determine liquid quantities?
They use a measure ing cup
10. What is the standard unit of length in music?
11. Who is a goddess of music?
12. What do the musician say after he had written an atonal piece?
I'm sorry I meant no Harmony
13.What do you call a drumline in a semicircle?
A rhythm sector
14. If a bad that plays at football games enters a swampy area what
has it become?
A marshing band
15. If chaos breaks out in the band hall what is it?
16. What does a musician have if he/she appears to have a split in
A Clef palate
17. Why was the musician prowling the back alley ways at night?
He/she was looking for treble
18. What fury musical symbols attacked the Starship Enterprize?
19. What do you call a curious musician?
An in choiring mind
20.How do musicians pay attention in class?
They take notes
21. What do you call musical rodents?
22. What instrument did the fisherman play?
The upright stringed bass
23. What instrument makes a lovely dessert?
24. What instrument will make you look suave?
The stylophone (xylophone)
25. What type of relationships do percussionists get involved in?
26. How do percussionists catch their prey?
With a snare
27. What does a sick percussionist experience?
28. What does percussionist eat for his/her dinner?
A drumstick and drum roll?
29.What do drummers get after drinking milk?
Flam in their throat
30. Why didn't the drummer pass english?
He/she thought everything was cymbalic
31. What do you call the forces and accelerations of music?
32.how do musicians seal their boats?
33. How is music like baseball?
In both the pitch is important
34.What do you call it when a flute shows off?
35. What is the highest succession of whole whole half wholes on earth?
Mount Everest it has been scaled
36. What is the problem with drawings of atonal music?
Its not to scale
37.How is music like physics?
Both are scalar
38. How do musicians weigh themselves?
39. When Joplin what wiping off his piano what did he compose?
The Cleaning Rag
40.What was it called when someone built a window in the middle of the tuba?
a pane in the brass
42. What do musicians insulate their house With?
43. Why are woodwinds so smart?
they like to reed
44. How are musicians like janitors?
They both deal with lots of keys
45.What do musicians call seemingly difficult tasks?
46. What horse was a famous composer of the 1800s?
47.Which 1600s composer is also a camel?
48. Why are musicians good debators?
All their arguments are sound
49. Which musician was a membe of the rat pack?
50.Did you hear about the musician who invested his entire life
savings building a time machine in order to visit bach and handel?
Yeah, he went baroque
51. What do you call Middle Ages statistics?
52. In the 1400s what was the dreaded class all musicians had to take?
53. What is a popular drink among musicians?
Gin and tonics
54. have you heard of the story of the poor Indian musician making it big?
Yeah, its a classic tale of ragas to riches
55. Have you heard the tragic tale of the flat 7?
yeah, he was blue
56. It was unnatural for a musician to miss the key.
57. Why are half steps so smart?
because they are sharp
58. Where do musicians live?
59. Duplex--double flat
60. What do musicians write on their dogs with?
61. What do party animal musicians wait in?
62. How do guitarists pay?
They put it on their tab
63. Why are trombonists somewhat lax?
They let alot slide
64. What do you call an aquatic trombone?
A water slide
65. What happened when the violin became a clarinet?
Its player was winded
66. Why are violins so small?
because they owners are string-gent
67. What do you call theoretical physics of cellos?
68.What is a popular drink for medieval intervals?
69. What do musician lumber jacks yell upon cutting a tree?
70.Why are percussionists philosophies very zen like?
Because like is peal today gong tomorrow
71. Why are drummers so evil?
They arre just malletious
72. What is the river of forgetfulness that all drummers fear?
The river sticks
73. Why couldn't the musician play softly?
It wasn't his forte
74. How do we know that only one instrument is a number?
75. Why do the leaders of bands have to be careful in lightning storms?
They are good conductors
76. Why are good musicians so hard to find?
Because they are fugue and far between
77. Why are musicians good police officers?
they deal with syn-cop-ation all the time
78. What did the musician dine upon?
He eighth notes (ate notes)
79. When can notes drive?
When their sixteenths
80.What is the distance across a circular sheet of music?
81. what instrument is great for anyone who plays A, C#, E?
82. What happened to the musician who didn't see the key the piece was
He fell off a clef
83. What happens when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
If you C# you C A flat minor
84. How do musicians clean up?
They wash their hands with Soaprano water
85. How do musicians go fishing?
With a clari-net
86. What was it called when an unstoppable swarm of musical scales
swept over the land?
A plague of locrians
87.What do musicians say when its really cold?
Man its Phrygian!
88. Unlike guitarists why are woodwinds never concerned with minor details?
Woodwinds don't fret
89. Why was the string player so bold?
She had a lot of pluck
90. The musician didn't fail his grade was just half diminished
91. What is it called when a musician fills a pothole?
92.What does a musicians watch read?
Minuetes and seconds
93. Why is music so difficult?
It doesn't come with an opera-tors manual
94. If Nike becomes more musically oriented do you know what their new
slogan will be?
95. What do musicians do on arbor day?
They plant a trio
96. When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight call
the U.S. Tamborines
97. How do musicians comunicate?
98. What do you call a musician with a low IQ?
99. Why are drummers like the mob?
They both are hitmen
100. Why was the Hollywood film about a drum line so successful?
It was a smash hit
101. If my music jokes do well, what will I exclaim?