Monday, September 25, 2006

101 Music Puns

101 Musical Puns

1. What is a famous musical Latin comedic tour of the afterlife?
Andante's Inferno

2. What is a famous musical composition from the 80s?
Thank you much Mr. Rubato

3. How do musically inclined plants grow?
WIth the new and improved allegrow

4. What do you call a homeless musical instrument?
A hoboe

5. What is a threat made when musicians exchange Baroque records?
You scratch my bach and I'll scratch yours

6. What is a dreaded illness amoung musicians?
Staff infections

7. What do musicians never forget to take wit h them on a hike?
Their walking staff

8. How do you ring up music?
Use its bar codes

9. how do musicians determine liquid quantities?
They use a measure ing cup

10. What is the standard unit of length in music?
1 meter

11. Who is a goddess of music?
de meter

12. What do the musician say after he had written an atonal piece?
I'm sorry I meant no Harmony

13.What do you call a drumline in a semicircle?
A rhythm sector

14. If a bad that plays at football games enters a swampy area what
has it become?
A marshing band

15. If chaos breaks out in the band hall what is it?

16. What does a musician have if he/she appears to have a split in
his/her mouth?
A Clef palate

17. Why was the musician prowling the back alley ways at night?
He/she was looking for treble

18. What fury musical symbols attacked the Starship Enterprize?

19. What do you call a curious musician?
An in choiring mind

20.How do musicians pay attention in class?
They take notes

21. What do you call musical rodents?

22. What instrument did the fisherman play?
The upright stringed bass

23. What instrument makes a lovely dessert?

24. What instrument will make you look suave?
The stylophone (xylophone)

25. What type of relationships do percussionists get involved in?
Love triangles

26. How do percussionists catch their prey?
With a snare

27. What does a sick percussionist experience?

28. What does percussionist eat for his/her dinner?
A drumstick and drum roll?

29.What do drummers get after drinking milk?
Flam in their throat

30. Why didn't the drummer pass english?
He/she thought everything was cymbalic

31. What do you call the forces and accelerations of music?
classical mechanics do musicians seal their boats?
With pitch

33. How is music like baseball?
In both the pitch is important

34.What do you call it when a flute shows off?
flauting it

35. What is the highest succession of whole whole half wholes on earth?
Mount Everest it has been scaled

36. What is the problem with drawings of atonal music?
Its not to scale

37.How is music like physics?
Both are scalar

38. How do musicians weigh themselves?
On scales

39. When Joplin what wiping off his piano what did he compose?
The Cleaning Rag

40.What was it called when someone built a window in the middle of the tuba?
a pane in the brass

42. What do musicians insulate their house With?

43. Why are woodwinds so smart?
they like to reed

44. How are musicians like janitors?
They both deal with lots of keys

45.What do musicians call seemingly difficult tasks?

46. What horse was a famous composer of the 1800s?
Bay thoven

47.Which 1600s composer is also a camel?

48. Why are musicians good debators?
All their arguments are sound

49. Which musician was a membe of the rat pack?
Frank Sonata

50.Did you hear about the musician who invested his entire life
savings building a time machine in order to visit bach and handel?
Yeah, he went baroque

51. What do you call Middle Ages statistics?
Gregorian chance

52. In the 1400s what was the dreaded class all musicians had to take?
Organum chemistry

53. What is a popular drink among musicians?
Gin and tonics

54. have you heard of the story of the poor Indian musician making it big?
Yeah, its a classic tale of ragas to riches

55. Have you heard the tragic tale of the flat 7?
yeah, he was blue

56. It was unnatural for a musician to miss the key.

57. Why are half steps so smart?
because they are sharp

58. Where do musicians live?
In flats

59. Duplex--double flat

60. What do musicians write on their dogs with?
Sharpe markers

61. What do party animal musicians wait in?
bar lines

62. How do guitarists pay?
They put it on their tab

63. Why are trombonists somewhat lax?
They let alot slide

64. What do you call an aquatic trombone?
A water slide

65. What happened when the violin became a clarinet?
Its player was winded

66. Why are violins so small?
because they owners are string-gent

67. What do you call theoretical physics of cellos?
String theory

68.What is a popular drink for medieval intervals?

69. What do musician lumber jacks yell upon cutting a tree?

70.Why are percussionists philosophies very zen like?
Because like is peal today gong tomorrow

71. Why are drummers so evil?
They arre just malletious

72. What is the river of forgetfulness that all drummers fear?
The river sticks

73. Why couldn't the musician play softly?
It wasn't his forte

74. How do we know that only one instrument is a number?
Piano's axiom

75. Why do the leaders of bands have to be careful in lightning storms?
They are good conductors

76. Why are good musicians so hard to find?
Because they are fugue and far between

77. Why are musicians good police officers?
they deal with syn-cop-ation all the time

78. What did the musician dine upon?
He eighth notes (ate notes)

79. When can notes drive?
When their sixteenths

80.What is the distance across a circular sheet of music?
a chord

81. what instrument is great for anyone who plays A, C#, E?
an A-chord-ian

82. What happened to the musician who didn't see the key the piece was
played in?
He fell off a clef

83. What happens when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
If you C# you C A flat minor

84. How do musicians clean up?
They wash their hands with Soaprano water

85. How do musicians go fishing?
With a clari-net

86. What was it called when an unstoppable swarm of musical scales
swept over the land?
A plague of locrians

87.What do musicians say when its really cold?
Man its Phrygian!

88. Unlike guitarists why are woodwinds never concerned with minor details?
Woodwinds don't fret

89. Why was the string player so bold?
She had a lot of pluck

90. The musician didn't fail his grade was just half diminished

91. What is it called when a musician fills a pothole?
Hole diminished

92.What does a musicians watch read?
Minuetes and seconds

93. Why is music so difficult?
It doesn't come with an opera-tors manual

94. If Nike becomes more musically oriented do you know what their new
slogan will be?
Just duet

95. What do musicians do on arbor day?
They plant a trio

96. When it absolutely, positively has to be destroyed overnight call
the U.S. Tamborines

97. How do musicians comunicate?
With aerophones

98. What do you call a musician with a low IQ?

99. Why are drummers like the mob?
They both are hitmen

100. Why was the Hollywood film about a drum line so successful?
It was a smash hit

101. If my music jokes do well, what will I exclaim?

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