101 Oceanic jokes
1. If a cyanobacteria is sick but feels better, what is it?
2. Does Hooke's law of oscilations work for Spring Tides?
3. What is an oceanographers favorite pasttime?
4. Have you heard about the really bad Hollywood movie about the ocean depths?
It was Abyssmal
5. Who do Zooplankton get their Christmas gifts from?
6.The shortest distance between two bases is an akaline
7. What test did the fish take?
His Final Ex-Salmon-ation
8. Na na na Bat Ray
9. What do oceanographers drive on?
10.Return to the Blue Legume
11. What is the most powerful ocean armed force?
12. Which barnacle can be found in the brain?
13. Quotes from The classic Sci-fi movie Ocean Wars:
Luke I am Euphotic
14. What African country is home to a large number of photosynthesizers?
15. What is a song by the BEACH boys?
Kelp Me Rhonda
16. Why can you never tell if an oceanographer is being serious?
They deal with a lot of Sargassum
17. The fish was put on trial. He is now awaiting his herring.
18. Daddy How are aquatic insects formed?
Well a Bouyant meets a girlant...
19.Which cephalopod is a superconductor?
20. What was a famous bioluminescent TV sitcom?
I Love Luci-ferin
21. Are drug dealing crusteaceans Dopepods??
22. Where can you find anoxic cattle?
In the depths of the Caria-cow basin
23. Why are low frequency whale sounds able to be heard SOFAR?
24. What tale of intrique at sea was written by Dana the fish?
Two years under the Neuro-mast
25. Are Diatoms good at passing tests?
26.Why do algae have such a fun life style?
Because half of their life cycle is spent in a GAME-tophyte
27. Who was the 22 and 24 president of US coastal forests?
28. Why should you take what marine biologists say with a grain of salt?
Because they are cnidarians
29.What do you call frozen plant like animals?
30. What do you call a gross sea star?
31. What does a Marine biologist say when he/she is not feeling well?
I feel s-icthyes
32.Who is the ruler of the Egyptian horseshoe worms?
33. How do you clean a horseshoe worm?
With phoro-nine (409)
34. Why do round worms croak?
Because they are nema-toads
35. How do marine biologist bounce around?
By using a pogo-nophoran stick
36. Marine biologists can count to cten
37. If you plan a spatula, is it a planula??
38. How big is a mollusk?
About 1 foot
39. Why is a mollusk like the Earth?
They both have a mantle
40. What is a marine larvae found in your head?
41. Who works in aquatics hamlets?
The Veligers (villagers)
42. Why do living organisms go to France?
To see the Paris sites
43. Why was the Marine biologist hobbling?
He walked with limpet
44. What do you call the round worms that never showed up in Louisiana?
45. What do you call mollusks that live in bank vaults?
46. What bread is eaten by a horshoe worm?
47. What excercise do cnidarians like to do to work on their upper arm strength?
Polyps (Pull ups)
48. What type of paint is found in the polar oceans?
49. Who is the best knight of the vertebrate world?
50. Copepod, heteropod, Ipod??
51. Why was the fish a cold hearted killer?
He felt no remoras
52. Make sure you get the Right Whale for the job?
53. The whale slapped the water with his fin, but I think it was a fluke.
54. Do whales get blood flukes
55. What is a 1980s really bad game show on aquatic biology?
The dugong show
56. is an aquatic brawl a fight-oplankton??
57. What is an essential food in an ocean biome?
A plankton turnover
58.upwelling, downwelling, oh welling
59. Walla, Roofa, Flora
60.The animals of the surface of the shallow sea was enlightened.
He had an epifauna
61. How do marine biologists stop arterial bleeding?
With a tunicate
62. The bacteria was stuck converting only nitrogen to usable forms?
According to Freud he was suffereing from Nitrogen fixation
63. What do you call a rock feature made of fish?
64. What did the marine biologist summer from after too much typing?
Carp-el Tunnel syndrome
65. What is fish clothing made from?
66. Why should you not believe any claims about the salt content of
inlets in the caspian sea?
Because they might be Bogaz
67. What do you call a robotic feline that develops in salt water and
matures in fresh?
68. What do you call bad baseball outfielders?
Catch and release
69. Which fish is captain of the "ENTERPRISE"
Jean Luc Pilchard
70. Do professers of acid and base chemistry have their pH.D??
71. What do you call the separating of birds?
72. What is a microscope?
A tool for observing biological magnification
73. Which hollywood star dwelt in the oceans?
74. What is a person after they retire?
A pension feeder
75. What do you call mutualism and commensalism in the sea?
76. Why was the early sea of Pangaea in so much pain?
It was Tethying (teething)
77. Why can't you trust the organelles responsible for apoptosis?
Because they lysome
78. How much toothpaste can an echinoderm squeeze from the tube?
1 tube foot
79. What is another name for a sea horse?
80. What song writen by Carl Orff can be heard in the sea?
O For tuna
81. Who did Dick Cheny sell his SOLE to?
82. The oceanographers shoes were tide.
83. How do biologists measure ocean distances?
With a measuring tape worm
84. What graham cracker, choclate and marshmallow concoction does a fungus eat?
85. What might you see an ocean raggamuffin begging for?
Alms for the poor-iferans
86. Where do tunicates go skiing?
The Swis salps
87. Where in Antarctica can you find Raggae?
From the Ross-tafariis
88. Was Al Crabone a lobster (Capone a mobster)??
89. How do Mangroves deal with hardship?
They Rhizophora it
90. What type of bird did the annelid have?
A polychaet (parakeet)
91. If a 1700s English poet had been a marine organism who would he be?
John Chaets (Keats)
92. What do oceanographers put on their spaghetti?
A Marinara Trench
93. What do you call a galapagos coprophagus marine reptile?
A Marine Iguano
94. What happens if a marine biologist becomes biased?
He begins taking cnides
95. Why are sea cucumbers empty inside?
Because they are hollow thoroidea
96. What do you call the growth gland on a sea cucumber?
97. What do you call the moss like animals that live near fire?
98. Where does the ocean keep its cows?
In the barnacles
99. How are the protists ruled?
With a monerarchy
100. What will our legal happy society likely do for my bad ocean jokes?
The wil T-sue-nami
101. After reading 101 atrocious ocean puns what has your brain become?