Wednesday, September 27, 2006

101 Weather Puns

1. Where do storms go to church?
An air mass

2. What is a popular sailing movie among meteorologists?
Mass-ter and command-Air

3. What do you call a carnivore who studies the atmosphere?
A Meat-eorologist

4. What are meteorologists afraid of?
The atmos-fear

5. What do you call it when a meteorologist goes fishing?
A dry line

6. What do you call an average weather scientist?

7. What plant are meteorologists frond of?
The At-moss-sphere

8. How do meteorologists tell time?
With a weather watch

9.How do feudal atmospheric scientists tell what the air pressure is?
With a Baron-meter

10. Why is a huricane like a cyclops?
They both only have one eye

11. What do you call a genetic copy of a meteorologist?
A cy-clone

12. Who is the relative of a meteorologist?
His Auntie Cyclone

13. What does a climatologist tell someone who is nosey?
This is Nin`o business

14. Where does a meteorologist get a drink?
At the Iso-bar

15. What does a meteorologist call a pigsty?

16. How wide at the base is Lady Liberty?
One Statue Mile

17. Why was the meteorologist so sad?
He was in a depression

18. What was a REALLY bad meteorologist sci fi/ horror flick?
Attack of the Killer Tornados (Tomatoes)

19. Why are there so many lightning storms in Australia?
It is after all know as the land down Thunder

20. What does a meteorologist eat with?
A ty-spoon

21. What do you call the residual weather phenomena after a herd of cattle have past?
A ruminant low.

22. What do you call a doctor near water wind and a low pressure?
The storm surge-on

23. What does a meteorologist practice with his/her kids?
Trough love

24.What does a long term meteorologist who likes to ascend things practice?

25. Do meteorologists hail taxis??

26. Do they hail to the Chief??

27. If they are healthy are they looking hail or is it hail-thy

28. What is a meteorolgists favorite reptile?
A blizzard

29. How do meteorologists deal with long term weather?
They Koppen

30. What is a work by Samual Colderidge that talks about a frozen sailor?
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

31. What do you call a horse that carries meteorolgical gear?
A snowpack mule

32. What lives beneath a lime?
A sub-lime-nation

33. Who is the antagonist is the meteorological version of Star Wars?
Darth Vapor

34. Why do weather scientists like flying mammals?
Because they like all things adia-Bat-ic

35.Why couldn't the meteorologist talk?
Because he had a fog in his throat

36. What did the father air mass say to the son air mass?
Now son, Don't blow this

37. Why do non geostrophic winds fight dirty?
Because they are always giving low blows

38. What would a weather scientist say to imply that you must now face the consequences of your actions?
You've made your al-bed-o now sleep in it!

39. Which insect has a troposphere, stratosphere, mesoshere and a thermosphere?
The Ant-mosphere

40. What does a meteorologically inclined extra-terrestrial say?
ET fohn home

41. What do you call a long term monkey?
A clim-ape

42. What is the most common question asked by students of meteorology?
When's it dew?

43. Who is the favorite poet of a meteorologist?
Robert Frost

44. LA has instigated a no Hazing law.

45. Why did the meteorolgist erroneously predict the water saturation of the air?
Because he is only humid

46. Who was a Scottish weather philosopher?
David Hume-id

47. What do you call a human eating wind?

48. What is measured by a slow meteorologist?
The laps rate

49. If the temperature of two rising air masses were measured simultaneously, would that be a co-lapse rate (collapse rate)??

50. Why did the Thunder storm take material out of a backpackers pack?
He was lightning his load

51. Who is a meterologists favorite old time gumshoe and super lawyer?
Perry Monsoon

52. The meteorologist tried to hit the fog but mist.

53. Why do cookie loving scientists love mountains?
Because the like to study oreo-graphic uplift

54. How do meteorologists type?
In polar fonts

55. If "pre" means before, "post" means after, and "inter" means during, shouldn't rain then be called intercipitation??

56. What does a meteorolgoist say when he listens to the radio?
Hey, they're playing my sonde.

57. Why do high pressures have so much money?
Because they are ridge.

58. How do you grow a cloud?
By seeding it

59. Which layer of the atmosphere is easiest for a meteorologist to span?
The staddle-sphere

60. Which layer of the atmosphere has the most ornately cut hedges?
The tropiary-sphere

61. Which layer is commonly mapped by the USGS?
The TOPO sphere

62. In which layer can you find the most relatives of mice?
The St-Rat-osphere

63. Which layer walks with pride?
The Strut-osphere

64. What do you call a stupid cloud?
A nimbus-cile

65. Thermocline, Pycnocline, halocline, Patsy Cline??

66. What did the atmospheric scientist get on his exam?
An F0

67. Why was solar radiation fired?
For being Insolate

68. If English majors are concerned with rough drafts, what are meteorologists concerned with?
Up drafts

69. How do meteorologists make circuts?
In parallel or Cirrus.

70. What is a cloud scientists favorite comic book?
Calvus and Hobbes

70. What is a meteorologists sign?

71. Why do RADAR technitions not like wearing pants made of small bits of metal?
To much Chaffing

72. What do you call a flower like sessile sea organism that measures the wind?
An Anenomometer

73. What does a meteorolgoist call a great quantity of things along the same line?
An Iso-plethora

74. What does a meteorologist do when he/she suspects he/she might have a sunburn?
Initiate a red watch

75. Where does a cryologist eat the meal before supper?
On an ava-lunch

76. What do you get if you mix a glaciologist with a fencer?
An avalunge

77. What is the favorite breakfast food of an avalanche scientist?
Eggs and Beacon

78. Why was the avalance scientist so lazy?
He had no inclination

79. What is a common name among meteorologists?

80. What is the motto of a meteorologist?
To Air is human

81. What is a meteorology song by Eric Clapton?
Albedo Albedo (Alberta Alberta)

82. What is the farthest from a monkey you can get?
The Ape-helion

83. What is a New England meteorologists favorite soup?
Calm Chowder

84. What does a chess playing meteorologist say when he winds (wins) a game?

85. How does a meteorologist get money?
He takes out a cyc-loan

86. The meteorologist specialized in temperatures. He got his degree in degrees.

87. How does an equatorial meteorologist keep rhythm?
By beating a dol-drum

88. What is a meteorologists bank account?
A down draft

89. What is a twilight meteorolgist's favorite mamal?
A dusk rat

90. How does a glaciologist climb a building?
With a graupeling hook

91. What does one meteorolgist say to another?
You're gust is as good as mine.

92. What is the Beauty and the Beast theme song for meteorology?
Be our gust be our gust be our gust

93. What is the favorite movie of a meteorologist?
Gust busters

94. What is a favorite weather book by Jon Swift?
Gully washers travels

Haboob is the Sudanese name for a dust devil?

95. How do meteorologists say high?
With a heat wave

96. What did hercules study?

97. What game do meteorologists play?
Hygrometer and go seeketer

98. If weather invades, is it an inversion??

99. Winds are tachy.

100. Why is a meteorolgist so good at rope work?
They measure knots

101. Why is a meteorologist never on time?
Because so much of what they do is Late-nt heat.

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