101 Dog Jokes
1. What are the rule of being a canine?
2. What do you call a dog that is a sad fruit?
3. What type of dog goes well with cream cheese?
A Cream Cheese Beagle
4. What dog did Darwin sail aboard?
The HMS Beagle
5. Which American congressional party is sponsored by a dog?
6. What do you call a dog that likes to fight?
7. Why is a dog's tail like a cart?
Its a wagon
8. Who was a famous canine composer?
9. Why does a dog weigh 16 oz?
Because there are 16 ounces in a hound
10. How does a dog keep the ends of a rope from fraying?
He learned to whippet
11. Which breed of dog has president Bush declaired war upon?
12. Why couldn't the Alaskan sled dog talk?
It was a mala-mute
13. What type of car does a dog drive?
A Hounda civic
14. What is the most patriotic breed of dog?
The star spangled spaniel
15. Which breed of dog helps at the diner table?
The Place setter
16. What did the professional say to the dog lover?
He gave him a few pointers
17. WHich book about dogs at sea was written by Dana?
Two years under the Mastiff
18. What is a dog's favorite type of vegetable?
19. What type of plastic surgery did the dog have?
20. WHen a dog lifts weights what does it lift?
21. Why are dogs often hired by Fed Ex?
They need boxers
22. What did the dog win?
World Heavyweight Boxer
23. What do gardening dogs plant thing in?
24. Who does a canine see if he is sick?
25. Are those who treat war dogs vets?
26. What type of marker does a dog use?
27. Not only is it raining cats and dogs, but I think I stepped in a poodle?
28. Which type of dog likes to swim?
A pool dog
29. Why do chinese ugly dogs look so Foo-lish??
30. What is the favorite type of dog among scientists?
A labratory retriever
31. which dog plays for a football team?
The Golden Reciever
32. How do dogs travel?
33. What do you call a puzzling breed of dog?
34. Why do dogs like the song Jingle Bells?
Because it has the line Dashund through the snow
35. Why is Hamlet a dog?
Because he is a Great Dane
36. What type of dog will you find in a sword shop?
37. Why are people like dogs on Saint Patrick's Day?
If you are not wearing green everyone turns into a pinser
Dwergpoedel is the German name for a poodle!?
38. Which song by Gordon Lightfoot is about a Norwegian Elkhound?
The Sinking of the Elandhond Fitzgerald
39. Which dog has a bad habit?
40. Alternative definition: Euthanasia
41. What is the motto of the US marine corps dog team?
42. What is the perfect dog for OJ Simpson?
43. Which school for Wizarding pooches does a European dog go to?
44. What do you call a medical dog?
A bone setter
45. Which type of dog was one of the first computers?
The Komondor 64
46. Why don't dogs like quantum mechanics?
Too many cat states
47.Why don't dogs like chemistry?
Too many cat-ions
48. Dogs are like doctors-- They are heelers
49. Which type of dog is a famous blues singer?
50. What is a famous Gershwin dog musical?
Corgi and Bess
Xoloitzcuintli is a Mexican breed of dog
51. What is a dog's favorite soup?
Clam Chow Chow der
52. What type of voice does an Alaskan dog have?
A husky one
53. Which dog was a frontiersman?
54. What do you get if you cross a rooster and a dog?
A Cock-er spaniel
55. What type of dog goes milk with milk and honey?
A cracker spaniel
56. What type of dog lives near the ocean?
The Australian Kelp-ie
57. What does a hot stylish dog wear?
58. Why does the dog used for English fox hunts need a shave?
Because it is Harrier
59. Which dog is a famous comic strip character?
60. If superman were a dog where would he work?
The Daily Beagle
61. What does every big band that encounters dogs need?
A Chi-wah-wah- mute
62. What is the motto of a small oriental dog?
Lhasa but not leashed
63. What is an oriental dogs favorite food?
Chow chow mein
64. How should you excercise oriental dogs?
Take them for a wok
65. Do you own that dog?
No, I leash
66. Which dog likes to graph things?
A plott hound
67. What happens in a dog mystery?
The Plott thickens
68. What is the favorite race of among dogs?
The 50 meter dashund
69. Which breed of dog is popular on a farm?
A St. Barn-yard
70. Why is Timex the official watch of dog lovers?
Because it takes a licking and keeps on ticking
71. Which dog is mentioned in the Bible?
Queen Shiba inu
72. How high can a dog count?
73. What do you get if you cross a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu??
74. Why are daschunds so successful?
At everything they do they are weiners
75. Dogs have another name for the song "Danny Boy", what is it?
76. Which dog likes citrus?
77. A dog blew arcoss water?
His owners are calling him fetch (a fetch is an oceanic term for wind blowing across water)
78. What is a popular canine sport?
79. Dogs always look fetching don't they?
80. MacBeth mentions a dog?
Out Damn Spot Out
81. How do you spot a dalmation?
You don't they are born that way
82. What type of dog do you give a little girl?
83. What is a fun game played amoung dogs?
Hydrant and go secant
84. What do you call a silent dog?
85. What did the dogs all sign?
86. What do dogs wait in?
87. K-9. Bingo!
88. Who gave birth to a dog?
89. Which type of dog covers a chair?
An Afgan hound
90. You know what they say, hound sight is 20/20.
91. What type of window fabric did the street dog purchase?
92. Who did the doggie goe as for Halloween?
93. Why did the dog have a sore voice?
Because he was an old Yeller
94. Why was the dog crazy?
Because he was Wago (Whacko)
95. What is the favorite magazine of dogs?
96. Why couldn't the dog go on an Africa safari?
He was a pooch-er
97. What does a dog loving baseball player use to catch things with?
A catchers mutt
98. What is a dog's favorite type of meat?
99. What is a dog's favorite movie?
Mutt-ster and commander
100. Why is tree like a dog?
Its bark is worse than its bite
101. In a wain storm, where can you find a dog?
Under a Woof