Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Alternative Dictionary Letter B

More Alternative definitions (The bold words are real words look them up if
you want, they are too weird to be fiction)

1. Chakra and Aura
President Bush's plan for invading Iraq

Babaurhum A batter cake raised with Yeast and saturated with rum

2. Babel
A word from on high

Babu or Baboo Hindu title for sir

3. Baby
A cry at nights sleep

4. Byzantine
Rome in the fall

5. Bach
1.Opposite of fronth
2. To return --take Bach

6. Bacchus
a real Roman Winer

7. Bachelor
A really bad pioneering guy. One who can't tie the knot or get hitched.

8. Bactrian Camel
One who got over the hump

9. Back bite
Where the mosquito got you

10. Backstroke
How you relieve said mosquito bite

11. Backward
The small LDS group located near the frontward

12. Virus
Its just a phage

13. Badger
See Boy Scouts

14. Baffin Island
A real cool place

15. Baghdad
A city sized crater in Iraq

16. Belch
The Air force

17. Bail
1.What you make in prison
2. When in a boat and this happens see also wet suit

18. Bait
What gets you hooked on fishing

19. Baked Alaska
See Global Warming

20. Baker's Bread
One who feels kneaded

Baksheesh A tip or gratuity in Egypt

21. Baking powder
See Meth Lab

22. Vasco Nunez de Balboa
A Pacifist

23. Baleen
Ya got something in your teeth

24. Ball and socket joint
What will be made of Titanium in 50 years

25. Ballerina
A woman who is always on her toes

26. Ballista
Something worth a shot

27. Ballast
How to balance your checkbook

28. Hot air balloon
See high rise

29. Ballot
A slow love song

30. Balm
What we did to Baghdad

Balneology The science of bathing

31. Baloney
A meat you get fed from the feds

32. Baltic
A Sea average

33. Baltimore Oriole
A team member not likely to win the pennant

34. Bamboo
a growth spurt (bamboo is the fastest growing land plant)

35. Banana
One twisted fruit

35. Temperate
See Three year olds

36. Bandit
something that leaves you wondering whats the hold up

37. Band Saw
a musical group based on a recent horror movie

38. Band Wagon
A group with a large following

39. Bang
!

40. Banyan
An American hero of foklore

41. Banjo
1. Strum thing to do
2. A man who speaks with a twang

42. Bank
Something going through withdrawls

43. Banner
The system at Weber State that is always crashing [for those of you who
don't ge to school here Banner is the name of the computer system and it is
always crashing]

44 Barb
Something leaving you wondering what's the catch?

45. Banquet
Food that is in your face!

46. Baptism
If done by a basketball player, its a slam dunk

47. Barbados
A cleanup on Isle 5

48. The MTC
Tie-land

49. Banister
Is rail

50. Barbarism
A catch phrase or ism used by a cutter of hair

51. Barbell
Something for when you need a lift

52. Barbwire
Snag time

53. Barcelona
A city with some Spaining to do

54. Bard
What guys shave in the morning

55. Barium
What an undertaker does

56. Barnstorm
The scene from the movie TWISTER, if you've seen the movie you know the
scene I am talking about

57. Barrage
Its waht Bwrings us here towether twoday

Barranca A steep deep hole in Southwestern US

Barratry A crime meaning misuse of office

58. Barren
One who rules over a parcel of land

59. Barrier
See undertaker

60. Bartok
The things you say when you have had a little too muck to drink

61. Baseball
A dangerous game chemists play involving spheres of --OH ions

62. Bashful
Full of Bash See Barbarian

63. Basement
Flood zone

64. Base line
The riff played by the guy with the large upright stringed instrument

65. Basil
The country who will probably win this years world cup

The jester being walled up inside a cathedral asked if he was trying to be
made a nave of.

66. Basket
Something to reed

67. Los Angeles Basketball
A lot of HoopLA

Basque A tight fitting womens tunic

68. Battering Ram
A sheep charged with spousal abuse

Basta Enough!

69. Bathing Cap
Slang for the skipper of a ship while cleansing him/herself

70. Battery
An adjective used to describe undercooked pancakes

71. Battle Royal
A war between the Hapsbergs

72. Bawd
The oppocite of good

73. Beading
What will continue until the moral improves

74. Beagle
Goes well with cream cheese

75. Beak
What you will be getting a bill for

76. Bean Caper
The Stealing of a pea

77. Bear Skinned
1. The latest in fashion
2. The rug in a hunting lodge

78. Beard
A time shaver

79. Beast of Burden
Kids carrying school backpacks

80. Beat
What I can't keep

81. Beattitude
The grade little Jimmy received for always talking back but doing it nicely

82. Bebop
The flattening of stinging insects

83. Because
The answer to the question Why

84. Bedaub
George Bush's brother Billy's nickname

85. Bed Molding
What happens to your sheets if you don't dry them

86. Bedridden
He wants to remove his sleeping pad and thus be bed ridden

87. Bedtime story
A real sleeper

88. Water Bed
Bed wetting

89. Beehives
[Beehive--Beeholder--beholder>spectator>specked tater-->Rotten potato]
1. Places where you can get the latest buzz
2. What a bee gets after wandering into poison Ivy

Beetle also means an overhang

90. Befog
A bee with gas

91. Befoul
What happens when your cross an insect with a chicken

92. Begone
The chemicals used to get rid of befouls and behives

93. Before
What an insect yells while playing golf

94. Befriend
What makes bebes

95. Begun
How you shoot bees

96. Behemoth
A flying insect related to the behebutterfly

97. behoove
What you get if you cross a cow and a black and yellow flying insect

98. Beige
A COMPLETELY different color than tan, camel, brown or any of the other
brown like colors

99. Toll Road
A road lined with bells

100. Firetruck
Toll Truck

Bellona The wife of Mars Goddess of war

101. Bell hop
A dance just for bells

2B continued....

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