Monday, September 25, 2006

Old Jokes

101 Ancient Civilization Jokes

1. A man in a sheet stubbed his toega

2. When asked to give the ending for nouns the Latin Declined

3. What footwear does a Greek God wear?
Tennis Zeus

4. What starch can be found near Babylon?

5. Which ancient civilization is the hardest to clean up?

6. Which warring mongol was arrested for fraud?
Genghis Con

7. have you heard about the people running for reelection in the Roman Senate?
They took a stab at it

8. Which roman emperor is the windiest?

9. Which Emperor had the most morals?
The Roman Emperor, he was on the straight and Nero

10. Which Greek letter is a Star Wars character?
Master Iota

11. Why did the Geek letter owe so much money?

It lost a beta

12. Who is the matriarch of the Greek alphabet?
Their Gamma (Grandma)

13. Where do Greek letters get their hair done?
At the ep-salon

14. How does a Greek letter show disagreement?

15.How do Greek letters get married?
In Sigma and in health

16. What is the most important Greek letter to bring if you ever
explore the galaxy?
A Tau

17.How does a Greek letter express malcontent with the world?
With a Psi

18. Why couldn't the Egyptian god speak?
He was a little Horus

19. What is an Egyptian cheerleaders favorite cheer?
Ra Ra Ra

20. What Greek god lies just below Earth's crust?
The Athena-sphere

21. How do Greeks keeps their fields looking so green?
They practice Acropolis rotation

22.Why do all the busts of Ancient Greeks look so old?
Because they have been Aegean

23.Which Greek god is the windiest?

24.What is a famous quote from Jason Descartes?
Cognito Argo sum

25.Why does no one go to Greece?
Because getting their is a pain in the Athens

26.Why is Greek painting not taught is physics class?
Because it is an Artemis not a scientist

27.How do Greeks find their way around?
By using a road Atlas

28.What directions can be traveled by a Roman god?
Baccus and Forewardus

29.Why can't you get tech support in the Greek underworld?
Because their Cerberus down

30. What does Pollux use to maintain his car?
Castor oil

31.Why do you never hear much about the civilization of Minos?
Because they are dis Crete

32. The location of a battle written by Tolkien, do you know what it was?
Minos Tirth

33. Daedalus follows Nautilus (or rather his son did)

34. What is a book by Oscar Wilde about Ancient Greece?
The Portrait of Dorians Grey

35. What is the most important part of Greek Poetry?

36. What happened tot he Trojans?
They were shown the Dorians

37. How did the Ancient Greeks do their laundry?
With a washer and dryad

38.Why is Cupid such a good archer?
He is good with his Eros

39. If you were an Ancient Greek how would you catch a cow?
Europa it

40. What might an ancient craps player have said?
Its Eurydice

41.Which Ancient Greek orator married Marge?
Homer Simpson

42. What do you call the monstrous sisters with snakes for hair, when
they are asleep?

43. What happened to Perseus when he grew old?
He was beginning to go graeae

44. What is the favorite musical instrument of Greek monsters?

45. What is the motto of an Ancient Greek goddess?

46. Where did the Ancient Greek goddess have to be?
At a Hera appointment

47. With what are an Ancient Greeks towels labeled?
His And Hercules

48. Hestia makes wastia

49. What is a favorite game of Ancient Greek mythology?
Hydra and go seek

50. These jokes are either funny or they are not, you might call them
hit or myth

51. What is a Hypothe-zeus?
It is an Iphicles then statement (a hypothesis is an if then statement)

52. Why were the citizens of Crete seasick?
They were Knossos

53. What is the motto of Hercules after slaying the Hydra?
Live and Lerna (Lerna is supposedly the village where Hercules slew the hydra)

54. What is the most effective way of teaching ancient myths?
via mixed Medea

55. What did the Greek scholar win?
The myth America pageant

56.What does an Ancient Roman say when annoyed?
You're getting on Minervas

57. What did the people of Minos pave their roads with?

58. What is another name for Hercules's first labor?
Finding Nemean

59. How do you profess your love for a sea nymph?
"I will love you whether you are Nereid or farid"

60. Why did the Satyr have such a head ache?
He was hit on the head with a pan

61. Why is it so cold in Greece?
Because it is Phrygid

62.How do Ancient microbes get around?
With Scylla

63. Why was the hero wandering around the desert of the dead?
He was looking for shade

64. What is another game popular in Ancient Greek mythology?
Pick up Styx

65. What sauce did Tantalus put on his food?
Tartarus sauce

66. Is there honor among Thebes??

67. Is the ruler of Ancient Egypt a tyrant?
Yes, but at least he's Pharaoh

68. How do the rulers of Egypt attract females?
With their Pharaoh mones

69. How did an Ancient American people secure their belongings?
With a Clovis hitch

70.How does an Ancient Chinese Civilization get the girls?
By Wu ing them

71. What very large beast roamed Ancient China?
A Wu li mammoth

72. What is a Chinese drink?

73. What do Mayans write with?

Ah Hoya ("he who urinates") is the Mayan name for the Rain God.
Ah Puch: the god of Death

74. MC Hammer became a Jewish Rabbi he is now being called the code of

Siduri barmaid is a mesopotamian God
Babylon is the Greek form of Akkadian Babilu

75. What is a popular toy, either in pakistan?
Kush Ball

76. Enya wrote a song about Sri Lanka- Ceylon way Ceylon way

77.Who lives within an Egyptian God's eye?

78. How do Latin Verbs reproduce?
By Conjugation

79. Alternative definition 1: Retirement Center
Ancient Civilization

80. How do Ancient peruvians write?
Using Inca wells

81. What state are the Ancient MesoAmericans from?

82. Why are the Peruvians so fascinating?
They really make you thInca

83. What is an ancient bone in your ear?
Your Incas

84. What is the favorite primitive homanid among birds?
The Crow Magnon

85. The Eastern Roman Empire invested in soda, is their capital now Fizzantium??

86. What is the favorite cheese of a Greek Monster?

87. What do you call someone studying Noah?
An Ark-eologist

88. Why did the Ancient Egyptian goddess of creation join a convent?
She was a Nun

89. Where is the first Egyptian god buried?
In Atum

90. What do you call a plunderer of Ancient Egyptian artifacts?
A Shu salesman

91. Why is the Egyptian goddess of the sky crazy?
She lives in a Nut house (Nut is the egyptian goddess of the sky)

92. What Star Wars movie is about the Egyptian gods?
Episode III: Revenge of the Seth

93. How did Ancient Egyptians predict their future?
With Horus scopes

94. What type of budget did the Ancient Egyptians have?
A Shu-string budget

95. A Shu! Bless you

96. Who published the Ancient Egyptian texts?
Simon and SHUster

97. How do egyptians throw out their trash?
In a garbage Shu-t

98. What do you call an Ancient Latin?
A Roman Centenarian

99. What do you call a frightening old movie?
A hoary film

100. Where might you find an ancient elephant?
With the E-Tusk-ans

101. Why should you not listen to any of my jokes?
Because I am just being Scylla


Anonymous said...

These jokes are not very good!

Anonymous said...

these were great! perfect for Greek myth halloween trick-or-treating! thanks!