Monday, September 25, 2006

101 RanDUMB Puns

101 Randumb Science Puns

1. Who is third in command of a physics ship?
The boson's mate

2.When batman looks into a dimensional mirror, what does he see?

3. What is a favorite snack of computer geeks?
Potato Chips

4.The physicist wasn't feeling well so he called in sigma.

5.What is the cry of a defiant fundamental particle?
No, you're not the boson of me!

6. Why are electrons similar to politicians?
Its all about the spin

7.What do you call an insect knight?
King Aurthuropod

8. What did the physicist exclaim after disembarking from a non
supersymetric boat?
Its good to be back on fermion ground

9.What is a mathematicians favorite star?
Alpha sin tauri
(this is also the favorite star of los Vegas)

10.What is a geometers favorite constellation?

11. Which egg of the ancient Greeks developed geometry?

12. Why couldn't the black hole get a date?
He was a singularity

13. How much does it cost to buy a space?
1 dime ension

14. Why did the geometer mess up his curved space problems?
He forgot to convert to metric

15. Have you heard of the candy company's new theory of everything?
They're calling it M&M theory

16. What holds atomic cattle together?
Their atomic Mooclei

17. What new force was discovered in various abstruse writings?
The unclear force

18. When voting day comes what are the politicians hoping to find?
Elector magnetism

19. How do physics majors hope their rotating black hole tests will be graded?
On the Kerr ve

20.How does a physicist tell you to "shutup"?
"Put a quark in it"

21.What hair styles of the eighties was popular with scientists?
Big bangs

22. What happens if you give a dimension too much sugar?
You end up with a hyperspace

23.What do you call it if you can sort of see through a cow?
Trans moo scent

24.Which ice skater is popular among physicists?
Michelle Kwantum

25.What are the four seasonings used by physicists?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and time

26. Dr. Suess for physicists: Day shift, night shift, red shift, blue shift

27. Why is the creator of WIndows an x triple dot?
Because he changed Microsoft Accel eration

28. What do surfers, supermodels, and physicists have in common?
They all deal with wave functions

29. What are Stinky ocean organisms?

30. What college enterance test does a dielectric take?
The Kappa-lan

31.How do you measure the ammount of small fury woodland animals in a wire?
By measureing its Vole-tage

32. What do physics monks chant?
The universal Ohm

33. How do tractor trailers convey energy?
With a semi conductor
(its the same way musicians convey energy)

34. What food might a chemist eat?
Avocado's number

35. What do you call a fledgling physicist?
A Gaussling

36. How do you treat a physics wound?
Wrap it in Gauss

37. What did the physicist go as for halloween?
A Gausst

38. What is the favorite candy of an astronomer?
Herschel's choclate

39. What government entity is in charge of seasonings?
NASA, they are after all in charge of the US Spice program

40. What are you likely to find a hippy astronaut hugging?
A Rocket-Tree

41. Why couldn't the first German rocket scientist think?
Because brains are mightier than von Braun

42. What do computer geologists study?
Plate Techy-tonics

43. What is a computer geek's favorite element?

44. Why was the geographer on a beach in the Indian Ocean?
He was collecting Seychelles

45. Why are plant scientists so interested in artificial life?
Because they are Ro-botanists

46. What do you call a scientist who studies ships?
A Boat-anist

47. What do you call German oceanic scientists that are really
soldiers from the 1700s?
Hessians (Harry Hess was among the first to map ocean floor)

48. What do you call space filling electrical coils?

49. Who is a famous Polish mathematician famous for his triangular snakes?
Waclaw Serpent-ski

50. What is a chemist's favorite childhood game?
Hydrogen and go seekegen

51. What chemical element can be found in your mouth?

52. Where do chemists go to get a drink?
Either at the Pb or at the BARium

53. If a chemist becomes a lawyer, does he/she have to pass the Barium exam??

54. What happened to a chemist's missing elements?
They argon

55. What is it called when a chemist pays child support?

56. What is it called when a chemist is in debt?

57. What is a chemists favorite fruit?
Blue Barium

58. Bisnose, Biseye, Bismuth??

59. What is a father's favorite element?

60. If a chemist is suspected of terrorism, what will the US government do?
They will Cesium

61. CESIUM!! Bless you

63. If a chemist is sick what should you do?

Darmstadtium is the accepted element #110

64. Bush has his own element?
#105 Dubnium

65. What is the motto of ancient chemists?
When in Chromium do as the Chromians

66. How do you make a chemist talk?
With truth Cerium

67. What does a chemist call rosemary, basil and thyme?

68. Guys and Galliums??

69. What is the favorite flower of chemists?

70. What does a chemist put in to dilute coffee?
Hafnium and hafnium

71. If a chemist is hurt what must he/she do?

72. What is the most popular race among chemists?
The Indium 500

73. What literary device is employed by chemists?

74. What is an old TV horror show for chemists?
Tales from the Krypton

75. Who is a terrible musician and chemical bandleader from the 1950s?
Lawrencium Welk

76. If Jimeny Cricket were a chemist, what would his motto be?
All you gotta do is lithium upon a star

77. What happened to Molys dolls?
Molybdenum (Moly bendenum)

78. What type of clothing is often worn by chemists?

79. If given a focal point what element can you move the world with?

80. How much does a chemist make?
Only a nickel

81. Donny and Marie Osmium??

82. Who is a chemists favorite author?
Edgar Allen Po

83. Which chemist is the father of the enemy of Hamlet?

84. What makes a chemist feel good?
When he/she gets Praseodymiums

85. What do chemist use to pull things with?
A team of Oxygen

86. What is the motto of the chemical police department?
To serve and Protactinium

87. What prestigious award was presented to a chemist?
The Rhodium scholar (ha, and you thought I was going to say the Nobelium prize)

88. When does a chemist use his/her umbrella?
When its about to Rhenium

89.What do you call a nice chemist?
A good Samarium

90. What was the name of the ancient Japanese protectors of chemists?
The Samarium (samarai)

91. If a chemist is accused of something illicit, what is it?
A scandium

92. What is the motto of a chemical supervillan?
Its like taking scandium from a babyium

93. Is New York part of the chemical eastern Seaborgium??

94. Did captain Jean Luc Picard ever encounter the seaborgium??

95. What are these jokes?
Just plain Silicon

96. is an arrested chemist a sili-con??

97. What is a chemist's favorite hobby?
Nitting and sodium

98. Which Greek chemist was forever tortured with no food or water?

99. Why did the chemist set a trap?
Tellurium in

100. Finally, I leave you with an image to remeber--Xenon warior princess

101. Everything but the kitchen Zinc

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