Thursday, September 28, 2006

101 Zoology Jokes

101 Zoology Jokes

1. What replaced the tape worm?
The CD worm

2.How is Michael Jackson like a clam?
Both are child molluscers

3.What uncuttable particle was with eve?
The atom

4.What is the favored means of comunication among biologists?
A cell phone

5.What do you call a desert roaming humped tongue spitting lizard?
A camel-eon

6.What do you call a vegetable with a nucleus and one without?
A eucarrot and a procarrot

7. What ship did the author of the "Origin of cream cheese" and "The
Descent of Spread" sail to the galapagos on?
The HMS Bagle

8. how do objects far from the body like their water?

9.What do you call a change in frequencies of devils over time?

10.What do Natural Selection and a power converter have in common?
Both involve adaption

11.What biological concepts can you see on signs along roads?
adapt a highway

12.What clothes do biologists wear?

13.What geneticist was a pickle?
Gregor Men-dill

14.How do you get fat cattle?
Give them steeroids

15.Why souldn't you mess with lizards?
Because You'll be saur-y

16.What do metabolisms show off their achievements in?
A trophy case

17.You know I never metabolism I didn't like.

18. Why could a chemist no longer fit into his clothes?
They were reduced

19.Why should you never believe the energy unit of a cell when it says its sick?
Because they are know mitochondriacs

20.When a studier of kidneys makes a shot in basketball what does he exclaim?
Nothing but neph

21.What did Mozart compose for someone's stomach?
An organ concerto

22.What are the lyrics to a song sung by The Biologist Jimmy Stewart?
"supposes Mitosis smells like roses"

23.When a cell get hurt where does it go?
to the ER

24. Where di life go after it started in shallow seas?
Onto deeper philosophical matters

25.Why was the cytoskeleton protein so good in the theater?
It had experience with actin

26.What movie can be found outside the cristae of a mitochondrion?
The Matrix

27.How long does a biologist work?
9 to 2

28.What is the Maryland Biologist Baseball team known as?
The Baltimore Centrioles

29.What do you call a small villian inside your intestines?
A microvili

30.Why is the opposite of pinocytosis like a hollywood movie?
Both are ex-cyting

31.What do Native American biologists sleep in?

32. How do biologists blow their noses?
With ATP

33.Why is keeping track of the cytoskeletal fibers during mitosis so hard?
It is a pain in the aster

34. How do scientist whiten hirudinea?
They use b-leech

35. Why do people not like to classify earthworms?
Its too annelidical

36.What do cellular biologists eat dinner on?
A metaphase plate

37.What do biologists do on wall street?
Buy and Cell

38.How do you destroy a puddy tat?
With a Cat-abolic reaction

39.Lysis--They have special shampoos for that

40.How do you speed up a reaction involving a cow?
Use a cattle-lyst

41.Why do mathematicians like enzymes?
Because they usually involve co-factors

42.What do lyou call predestination for organic energy?

44. How do biologists say the 13th-16th letters of the alphabet?
Amino p (M-N-O-P)

45.What part of the day do elementary school biologists like most?

46.What part of a gene spilled in the PrinceWilliam Sound?
The Exon Valdez

47.Why did the student fail his history of pre evolution test?
He missed Lamark

48.What do you call a dinosaur in a burrow?

49.Why did the evolutionary biologist take his work to the English department?
He needed help with his punctuated equilibrium

50.On a windy day in the winter what piled up in front of the
geneticist's house?
Genetic drift

51.Several hundred millian years ago what did you call a sharpie?
A permian marker

52.What is the oldest island in the Mediterranean?
The Crete-acious

53.What do you call a monoecius calculus fiend?

54. What do you call the union of a sheep and a Ram?
A zygoat

55.What did the biologist go as for Halloween?
Count Gastrula

56.Why was the jelly labeled a smart alec?
Too many cnide remarks

57. Are ancestral reptiles different from modern mammals?
In theri

58.What do you call a dental mystery?
A who dont

59.What do you call a bird like inner membrane?
A parrot-toneum

60.What were the two biological world powers in the 1940s?
The axons and the allies.

61.Why was the spinal cord so bold?
It had a lot of nerve

62.How do you categorize drosophilia?
By its fly-logeny

63. What is the smartest part of a cell?
its mem-brain

64.What was the premature brain mugged by?
A street gang-lia

65.Why did the chimp have such a terrible head ache?
He was hit on the head with a pan

66.What do you call biological jokes?

67.How do biologists get their energy?
Binary Fission

68.How do biologists make things things smoothe?
WIth a file-um

69. What do you call a radiata formula?
A polypnomial

70.What do you call a snail after eating beans?
A gas-tropod

71.What herb do biologists cook with?
A basal metabolism

72.Why was the brain so ancy?
It is a nervous system

73.What rock band do biologists listen to?
The rolling stomes

74.What do you call a picasso painting of a jelly fish?
A cubozoism

75.Who are the followers of the Castro Jelly fish?
The cubozoans

76.Where can you find a cloud in an acoelomate?
In its cirrus

77. What class is related to the lollipop?
The hirudinea, they have anterior and posterior suckers

78.What watch brand is worn by cestoda?
Scolex (rolex)

79.What is the part of a throat related to tape worm?
The e-proglottis

80.Why are round worms so hard to detect?
Because they trichy

81.What country singer is popular with fish?
Vince Gill

82.Why are eagles often found in church?
They are birds of pray

83.How is an earthworm similar to a farmer?
they both have crops

84.How do arthropods get by in life?
By the seta of their pants

85.What part of the anatomy helped relieve New Orleans?
Femur86. Which Swedish 1700s taxonomist consumed large quanties of citrus?
Carolus Limeaus

87. Do biologists still have to pay state and federal Taxons??

88.Why was the marine biologist arrested?
He was Cod red handed and it wasn't a red hering

89.Does hair replacement work for Garibaldies??

90.What did the Marine biologist hang on his wall for the holidays?
A Christmas Reef

91. Why was the botanist so depressed?
He slept on a cot

92. What is the most brittle group of organisms?
The dino-fragile-ates

93. What group of organisms stage the most demonstrations?
The Protesta

94. Which organelle gets in the most fights?
The Rival-some

95. Why are splinter CELLS so dangerous?
They might have nuclear weapons

96. Which polyplacophoran wrote Jurassic park?
Michael Chiton

97. Which group of organisms is best at math?
The Algae bra (good with the ladies too)

98. Which group of organisms will keep coming back to you?
The echo-dermata

99. What was a popular movie about a lost round worm and his father?
Finding Nemotoda

100. How do biologists smooth things over?
With a fine grit phylla

101.If you don't like these here's what I have to say to you-- Zoo what

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I seldom leave comments on blog, but I have been to this post which was recommend by my friend, lots of valuable details, thanks again.