101 Zoology Jokes
1. What replaced the tape worm?
The CD worm
2.How is Michael Jackson like a clam?
Both are child molluscers
3.What uncuttable particle was with eve?
4.What is the favored means of comunication among biologists?
A cell phone
5.What do you call a desert roaming humped tongue spitting lizard?
6.What do you call a vegetable with a nucleus and one without?
A eucarrot and a procarrot
7. What ship did the author of the "Origin of cream cheese" and "The
Descent of Spread" sail to the galapagos on?
The HMS Bagle
8. how do objects far from the body like their water?
9.What do you call a change in frequencies of devils over time?
10.What do Natural Selection and a power converter have in common?
Both involve adaption
11.What biological concepts can you see on signs along roads?
adapt a highway
12.What clothes do biologists wear?
13.What geneticist was a pickle?
14.How do you get fat cattle?
Give them steeroids
15.Why souldn't you mess with lizards?
Because You'll be saur-y
16.What do metabolisms show off their achievements in?
A trophy case
17.You know I never metabolism I didn't like.
18. Why could a chemist no longer fit into his clothes?
They were reduced
19.Why should you never believe the energy unit of a cell when it says its sick?
Because they are know mitochondriacs
20.When a studier of kidneys makes a shot in basketball what does he exclaim?
Nothing but neph
21.What did Mozart compose for someone's stomach?
An organ concerto
22.What are the lyrics to a song sung by The Biologist Jimmy Stewart?
"supposes Mitosis smells like roses"
23.When a cell get hurt where does it go?
to the ER
24. Where di life go after it started in shallow seas?
Onto deeper philosophical matters
25.Why was the cytoskeleton protein so good in the theater?
It had experience with actin
26.What movie can be found outside the cristae of a mitochondrion?
27.How long does a biologist work?
9 to 2
28.What is the Maryland Biologist Baseball team known as?
The Baltimore Centrioles
29.What do you call a small villian inside your intestines?
30.Why is the opposite of pinocytosis like a hollywood movie?
Both are ex-cyting
31.What do Native American biologists sleep in?
32. How do biologists blow their noses?
33.Why is keeping track of the cytoskeletal fibers during mitosis so hard?
It is a pain in the aster
34. How do scientist whiten hirudinea?
They use b-leech
35. Why do people not like to classify earthworms?
Its too annelidical
36.What do cellular biologists eat dinner on?
A metaphase plate
37.What do biologists do on wall street?
Buy and Cell
38.How do you destroy a puddy tat?
With a Cat-abolic reaction
39.Lysis--They have special shampoos for that
40.How do you speed up a reaction involving a cow?
Use a cattle-lyst
41.Why do mathematicians like enzymes?
Because they usually involve co-factors
42.What do lyou call predestination for organic energy?
44. How do biologists say the 13th-16th letters of the alphabet?
Amino p (M-N-O-P)
45.What part of the day do elementary school biologists like most?
46.What part of a gene spilled in the PrinceWilliam Sound?
The Exon Valdez
47.Why did the student fail his history of pre evolution test?
He missed Lamark
48.What do you call a dinosaur in a burrow?
49.Why did the evolutionary biologist take his work to the English department?
He needed help with his punctuated equilibrium
50.On a windy day in the winter what piled up in front of the
51.Several hundred millian years ago what did you call a sharpie?
A permian marker
52.What is the oldest island in the Mediterranean?
53.What do you call a monoecius calculus fiend?
54. What do you call the union of a sheep and a Ram?
55.What did the biologist go as for Halloween?
56.Why was the jelly labeled a smart alec?
Too many cnide remarks
57. Are ancestral reptiles different from modern mammals?
58.What do you call a dental mystery?
A who dont
59.What do you call a bird like inner membrane?
60.What were the two biological world powers in the 1940s?
The axons and the allies.
61.Why was the spinal cord so bold?
It had a lot of nerve
62.How do you categorize drosophilia?
By its fly-logeny
63. What is the smartest part of a cell?
64.What was the premature brain mugged by?
A street gang-lia
65.Why did the chimp have such a terrible head ache?
He was hit on the head with a pan
66.What do you call biological jokes?
67.How do biologists get their energy?
68.How do biologists make things things smoothe?
WIth a file-um
69. What do you call a radiata formula?
70.What do you call a snail after eating beans?
71.What herb do biologists cook with?
A basal metabolism
72.Why was the brain so ancy?
It is a nervous system
73.What rock band do biologists listen to?
The rolling stomes
74.What do you call a picasso painting of a jelly fish?
75.Who are the followers of the Castro Jelly fish?
76.Where can you find a cloud in an acoelomate?
In its cirrus
77. What class is related to the lollipop?
The hirudinea, they have anterior and posterior suckers
78.What watch brand is worn by cestoda?
79.What is the part of a throat related to tape worm?
80.Why are round worms so hard to detect?
Because they trichy
81.What country singer is popular with fish?
82.Why are eagles often found in church?
They are birds of pray
83.How is an earthworm similar to a farmer?
they both have crops
84.How do arthropods get by in life?
By the seta of their pants
85.What part of the anatomy helped relieve New Orleans?
Femur86. Which Swedish 1700s taxonomist consumed large quanties of citrus?
87. Do biologists still have to pay state and federal Taxons??
88.Why was the marine biologist arrested?
He was Cod red handed and it wasn't a red hering
89.Does hair replacement work for Garibaldies??
90.What did the Marine biologist hang on his wall for the holidays?
A Christmas Reef
91. Why was the botanist so depressed?
He slept on a cot
92. What is the most brittle group of organisms?
93. What group of organisms stage the most demonstrations?
94. Which organelle gets in the most fights?
95. Why are splinter CELLS so dangerous?
They might have nuclear weapons
96. Which polyplacophoran wrote Jurassic park?
97. Which group of organisms is best at math?
The Algae bra (good with the ladies too)
98. Which group of organisms will keep coming back to you?
99. What was a popular movie about a lost round worm and his father?
100. How do biologists smooth things over?
With a fine grit phylla
101.If you don't like these here's what I have to say to you-- Zoo what